Surreal Experiences

These last few days have felt so strange. Like they aren't real. Like it's all just a bad dream. I see pictures of Christina and think there's just no way she's actually gone. It sounds ridiculous to me that this dear girl that I've been close to for the past 3 years would have left us so soon.

I was at symphony rehearsal on Tuesday evening (October 18) when my phone had a seizure in my back pocket. I received several messages/texts/phone calls/voicemails left for me ALL AT ONCE. It seriously was like a little explosion of buzzes (thankfully all silent, but I definitely felt them. :P). I knew SOMETHING was up.

I tried to discretely check messages while sitting in rehearsal (which is so unprofessional, by the way)....

"Christina is in ICU and they're suspecting a blood clot."

"Okay," I think. I'm trying to process and still stay somewhat present in rehearsal. I thought, "I'm glad she's in the ICU. I'm sure they'll take good care of her. God be with her and get her better quick. Help her family."

Rehearsal continued. More messages.

"They've got her in a medically induced coma. The goal is to keep the blood clot from reaching any vital organs."

All I could think at that point is, "This sounds really serious. Please God. Help her." All the while I was thinking - she WILL get through this. She's a fighter. She's so strong! I know God will save her. Her family needs her TOO much to lose her. I cannot lose my friend.

I was also racking my brain to think of how this could have happened to her. Why this would happen to her. Underlying causes? Related to the baby she recently lost? HOW? WHY WHY WHY!?

That night, I slept semi-peacefully still assuring myself that Christina would be okay. She had to be. It was as simple as that.

Then the next morning, the messages really started scaring me.

"She's near eternity right now. Please join us in prayer as the faithful staff at Erlanger Hospital do everything they can to save her life."

All Wednesday I sobbed and cried out to God to please save her. Her little girls need their mommy. Christian needs his wife.

Wednesday afternoon Steven dropped me off at Michelle's house with some snack foods. She drove me to the hospital where we saw Christina's oldest two girls and Christian. They were hugging each other and sobbing. Eventually Locksley (Christina's oldest girl who is 15) held Michelle's baby girl and I got to see Locksley's beautiful smile which is reminiscent of Christina. But her eyes are totally her daddy's. She's a gorgeous girl, even when it's obvious that she has been crying all day and probably had not slept.

We got the food set out for all the family in the hospital and as of that moment we were told that Christina was teetering on the edge, but from what I understood, she was about as stable as she could be at the time. Perhaps even more stable than she'd been all day. I felt a tiny glimmer of hope. Maybe it was just my optimistic interpretation of what I heard. Probably.

We stayed for a while and talked to friends and family of Christina gathered there in the halls right outside the ICU knowing she was in there somewhere. Still very near eternity. I tried not to cry, but it was futile. Silent tears welled up at nearly every thought running through my brain. I desperately wanted to see my friend again and have more gatherings with her and Michelle and Rachel like we had done so many times before. Our last one could not possibly have been THE last. No no no. I played the scene in my head of Christina waking up and visiting her in the hospital bringing her flowers and balloons and getting to tell her how scared we had been and how relieved that she's miraculously healed. I really hoped that scene would come to life soon.

It got to be around 7:15 and I needed to be at symphony rehearsal soon. I wondered if I ought to arrive late or not go or.... ??? I had no idea what I really should do. But things seemed somewhat stable and we were all praying so hard for Christina. We would get through this.

Rachel dropped me off at the Tivoli for my rehearsal. On the way (just a few blocks from the hospital downtown to the Tivoli), she and I talked about Christina and cried together for our friend (yet again).

I cried before we started rehearsing and symphony friends asked what was up. I tried to explain.

Rehearsal started. I had told Rachel and Michelle to keep me up to date no matter what. Not long after rehearsal started (7:30pm) on that fateful Wednesday evening, I received a text. I took a glance at my phone...

"Not good." was all it said.

My heart was in my throat as we continued to rehearse. It was so surreal to sit there playing intensely beautiful music while pondering what "Not good." meant. The world around me was continuing to spin while I knew that for the dear ones just a few blocks away in that hospital, time had absolutely stopped. It made no sense.

Christina was already "Not good." So I knew deep in my heart it probably meant she was gone. She was either gone or quickly on the way.

As soon as I was on break I texted Rachel, "I am on break for 15 minutes." Momentarily my phone rang. It was Rachel. Then came the words I had so dreaded for the entire day.


"She's gone."


I protested as much as I could, "What!? No!! What happened? I was just there!! She was OK. I thought we were somewhat stable? So that's it!? That's just.... IT????"

Rachel just sobbed on the other end. In the background I could hear Christina's girls and husband wailing for Christina. Completely devastated, completely uninhibited, raw grief, anguished wailing.

My friend Susan told me I should leave. But I had no car. I was depending on Laura to drive me home. (She plays in the symphony and lives where we do. I often get rides with her.)

So I silently cried through the rest of symphony. I played all the notes, but tears constantly blurred my vision. My heart was not there.

That night at home I openly cried for the rest of the evening. I cried well into the night. I struggled to sleep. I woke up and cried some more. I cried so much on Thursday that my eyes started to burn terribly and I could barely keep them open. I began to feel numb and like I had cried all the tears I could possibly cry.

I had a symphony concert Thursday night. I felt all "cried out" which I suppose was good. I was able to function for my concert. I was even able to smile and be sociable and say "I'm fine" when people inquired. That's what we're supposed to do, right?

Today I guess I've been mostly OK. Tears here and there when I ponder these events. When I remember again the last time I saw Christina and think about the fact that I SHOULD HAVE STAYED at the hospital on Wednesday. That part digs at me constantly. I should have been there with Rachel, Michelle, and Christina's husband and girls.

After she coded and the hospital staff stopped attempting resuscitation, they let the friends and family in to pay their final respects. As strange as it sounds, I deeply regret not being there for that. I wish I could have seen Christina one last time even if it was just the shell of Christina. But it would have been good for closure and to say goodbye in my little earthly way. I know it absolutely doesn't matter in the grand scheme, but I had not seen her since June and that is devastating to me.

Please continue to hold her family in your prayers. And donate to the fund or get others to! Please please please pass that link on to everyone you can. This family needs so much love and support right now. This is a small way in which we can show our love and support for them right now. I REALLY appreciate all you who have already donated and have passed it on. You can't know how much it has helped, but trust me- it has done a tremendous amount of good. Keep it up! It means the world to me and I can't thank you enough.

Please Help a Family in Need

A beloved friend died suddenly and unexpectedly on Wednesday. I was at the hospital up until about 30 minutes before she passed away and I cannot tell you how deeply I regret leaving when I did.

So many regrets right now. Life is short. Life is precious. Hug your friends. Tell them you love them. Take pictures of your friends when they are happy and having a good time together. I really wish I had.

Christina was a vibrant 35-yr-old homeschooling mom and leaves behind a precious husband and 5 beautiful daughters who all adored her.

First of all, please PRAY for this sweet family as they grieve the unspeakable loss of a wife and mother.

A few of us have gotten together and created a donation site for Christina's family. If you knew Christina and want to help, please do. If you didn't know Christina and want to help, please do! The same goes for sharing this. Please please post this on your blogs, your facebook pages, email it to your friends, and post it to any public places you can think of.

I'm hoping- though nothing could possibly be adequate for this family right now- that this will at least alleviate any immediate needs however big or small. Living expenses, medical expenses, funeral expenses. Right now I just want them to be able to love on each other, grieve together, and take all the time they need to figure out how to proceed from here. So please donate, pass on this link, spread the word - do anything and everything you can to help a family in tragedy.

ICAN

Our little ICAN chapter has thrived and grown by leaps and bounds. We still haven’t reached all the women that we can and should, but we are trying very hard and have made so much progress!

Several very exciting things have happened which I will get to soon, but first I have to talk about how amazing it is to be a part of these girls’ journeys to VBAC. To meet and see a girl from her first meeting to when she comes to a meeting after her VBAC is a huge transformation and I love it every step of the way! Most girls who come in seeking support after a disappointing birth come very defeated, emotional, possibly struggling with post partum depression. Some are utterly traumatized at how they were treated and cannot tell their stories without sobbing uncontrollably. We hand them tissues and just listen.

It’s so wonderful to see these girls come back again over and over until they are blessed with another pregnancy and then to choose the right provider for them, the right location for them, and continue to come to meetings to arm themselves with education and information and then come back one day with their VBAC baby in arms just radiant and triumphant!

Our little chapter has already had 7 VBACs just that I can think of off the top of my head. It could be closer to 10! It has been SUCH a blessing to be part of this process!

Just in the past few months a couple of very exciting things happened. 1) An OB attended one of our meetings. 2) Because of this meeting, this OB agreed to perform a “family centered cesarean” for one of our moms who needed a c-section. She showed him all the research backing it and he attended our meeting on the topic to gather more information and he made it happen right here in Chattanooga! It was Chattanooga’s very first family centered cesarean. The mom came back to our most recent meeting and told her story and it was remarkable and wonderful! This is a huge step for our little community and ICAN was a BIG part of that step! I could not be more thrilled!

In short, I feel like our little chapter could do a lot more, but I also feel that we’ve been able to help so many people and have accomplished a lot in a short amount of time. I’m always so excited and looking forward to our next meeting. I love it!

I know I know…

I haven’t blogged in forever and then the first thing I do is post a huge long boring epic that most people probably won’t care about. So sorry about that!

Lately all I know how to update on is the kids. What else is there!?

Well Henry consumes a lot of our time and energy because he’s a higher needs baby than we’ve had before. It gets better sometimes, and it gets worse sometimes, but right now I think we are the upswing.

He may have a slight intolerance of dairy which could actually explain a lot and I had thought of it before and had cut out dairy from my diet, but after seeking the opinion of someone more experienced with food sensitivities than I, it seems I did not cut it out for long enough to make a difference. But the intolerance can affect activity level (he is very active- always has been), sleep quality, absorption, and weight gain. So many of the issues we’ve had with Henry fit this perfectly. So off of dairy we go. I don’t mind it so much except for cheese and the occasional ice cream. But cheese, oh cheese- how I love thee!

Henry started solids about a month ago now and has done fairly well with it. He definitely loves to eat. He still nurses insatiably, typically every 2-3 hours. We keep thinking with all this nursing and eating that he will shoot up and out very soon! Maybe with removing dairy, his system will get itself worked out soon and he will. I hope so! He loves peas, avocado, eggs, pears, roast beef, pork chops, sweet potato…. yes- he has tried quite the variety of foods already. He demands to eat whenever we are eating so sometimes we have had to get creative! lol

His sleep has been so inconsistent! We’ll have a few really good nights and think that we are in the home stretch to recovering from the exhausted haze that we’ve been in for the past 9 months, and then he starts right back up again being up all night and…. uuuuuugh.

When he is happy, he is very very happy; but when he is sad? Look out!

We did achieve an amazing milestone this past Sunday. He stayed in the nursery for a whole hour. WITHOUT ME. First time ever! I took him to the nursery to play and nurse during the church service (which is our tradition when he starts to "talk” in church) and I noticed that he was much more interested in playing than he ever had been before. He was even letting go of ME and exploring his surroundings a little. I realized that I may very well be able to sneak out for Sunday School. So I seized the opportunity and got to (for the first time in as long as I can remember) sit through an entire Sunday School Class. And it was a really good one too – I think God planned that for me! I am so grateful! The nursery worker ended up having to hold him once he noticed I was gone (which only took a moment after I left according to her. Woops.), but he was still okay with her holding him. I’m so thankful she was willing to hold him that whole time!

He has been crawling since around 5-6 months old and pulling up since 7 months old and climbing up our stairs since 8 months old. Did I mention he’s super active? He follows me around no matter where I go. And he is, of course, still irresistibly adorable!

Speaking of which, I hear him now- just waking up from a nap! Gotta run…

Breaking It Down

 

Recently I was challenged to explain why I consider homebirth safe.

I realized that it is so much more complex than most medical professionals realize. I think sometimes they tend to see this issue as very black and white. Hospital = SAFE and Home = UNSAFE. Period.

But it goes so much deeper for us moms and for me it is much more complicated and difficult to explain! As I started to try to explain I couldn’t even do it in an organized and cohesive way. So I wanted to get it all down here in as organized a fashion is as possible.

1. I think that the most important aspect of the homebirth choice is Birth Philosophy.

• First of all, it must be accepted that all of life is risky. People die. Bad stuff happens. There is risk in everything we do. Including birth. There are situations in which a baby born at home may die because it was home and not hospital. There are also situations in which a baby born in the hospital may die because it was the hospital and not at home. It is about weighing the risks and benefits and understanding that birth is risky whether at home OR in the hospital. Some of the risks are different depending on location – also worth considering.
• In the medical community, birth is (most often) an unpredictable and dangerous medical event that must be controlled and managed in order to be safe.
• In the homebirth community, birth is considered:
• natural
• intimate
• private
• incontrollable
• powerful
• something which to respect and trust that the mom and baby know instinctively how to do
• best left alone in order to be safe

Think of things that we do all the time that are private and/or intimate. How would you feel if you had an audience for these simple, natural processes? the same principles apply to birth. It is a private natural event that God perfectly designed us to do, usually without outside assistance. Women GIVE BIRTH. Women deliver their own babies! Doctors and Midwives DO NOT “deliver” babies. Moms do all that and maybe the professionals might assist, but I hate the phrase “Dr. X delivered the baby.” I suppose when a mom is unable to push the baby out or needs a c-section it is more accurate to say that the doctor “delivered” the baby, but for a normal un-medicated birth, it’s just not appropriate to let the doctor or midwife take credit for that.

2. Homebirth midwives take much more Preventative Measures than your average medical doctor and treat the client as Holistically as possible. They acknowledge that there is much more to a person’s health and well-being than just the condition of the physical body.

• Prenatal appointments are typically 1-2 hours long
• A strong and trusting relationship is built between the midwife and birthing family
• Topics are wide and varied covering every aspect of the whole health of the women such as:
• diet/nutrition
• exercise
• nutritional supplements to optimize health
• herbal teas and infusions to further boost mineral and vitamin levels and to tone the uterus and prepare the body for labor and birth
• How to healthfully prevent common pregnancy ailments, conditions, and complications
• alternative healthier remedies to common pregnancy ailments
• chiropractic care, acupuncture, massage, to name a few.
• emotional well being, stress levels, spiritual well being, etc.
• optimal fetal positioning which is crucial for a safe and easy delivery
• Hemoglobin is tracked prenatally and supplements are taken prenatally to ensure a healthy blood supply and to prevent post partum hemorrhage
• A back-up plan is made in which the midwife and parents agree which hospital would be best in case of transport and how to most quickly get there etc.

3. Homebirth midwives bring much more with them than many seem to realize. Midwives come equipped to handle most complications.

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard, “Well my baby would have died if we’d had a homebirth because……”

In almost every case the end of that sentence is something that is absolutely untrue because a midwife would be equipped to handle it.

Meconium aspiration? Midwives carry suctioning for precisely that reason. Baby didn’t breathe right away? Needed resuscitation? Midwives carry resuscitation equipment (and oxygen) and are trained to use it. Severe Post Partum Hemorrhage? Midwives carry a variety of anti-hemorrhage drugs to stop hemorrhage or at least stabilize it in order to safely transport to the nearest hospital. Needed fluids during labor or after? Midwives carry IV supplies and can start a line if necessary. Retained Placenta? Believe it or not, they are trained to handle that as well. It’s not pleasant (not pleasant no matter where you are!), but can be handled safely. If not, you would be stabilized and transported safely to the nearest hospital. Midwives are also prepared to handle tears and have sutures and the necessary equipment and drugs to do it as comfortably as possible.

Yes, there are a few very rare horrible complications that could happen and would be awful no matter where you are. But there is no guarantee that the outcome would be any different in the hospital. A few that come to mind are placental abruption, cord prolapse, uterine rupture… all extremely rare. And babies sometimes die from these complications-- even in the hospital. There are no guarantees in life.

The only things I feel a homebirth midwife cannot do are:

• surgery (if you need a c-section or if your baby needs surgery the order of events would be: stabilization and transport.)
• blood transfusions. If you lose enough blood to require transfusions, you would again be stabilized (probably including IV fluids and obviously meds to stop the bleeding) and transported to get the blood you need.

And again, these are things that midwives and their clients work very hard prenatally to prevent and thus, they are rarely necessary.

4. At a homebirth it is also vitally important to homebirth families and their midwives that the baby is always handled gently, respectfully, kindly, and with love. So the Postpartum Care is also drastically different from in the hospital. This part may be THE most important aspect to me (but that’s hard to pinpoint).

• So long as baby comes out vigorous and pinking up nicely, the baby is given directly to mama (or the mama catches her own baby and keeps the baby in arms immediately following birth!)
• The cord is not cut until the family wants it to be. There are many benefits for baby to receive all of his placenta and cord blood. This makes for stronger healthier babies and a gentler transition to having to take that first breath!
• Even if there are signs of a problem the cord is not cut as that would cut the baby off from his sole supply of blood and oxygen which can keep the baby safe from brain damage longer than if it is cut immediately and the baby is unable to breathe right away.
• Also, if there is a problem with the baby, the baby is still placed on mom’s tummy/chest as the midwife does what is necessary to resuscitate, suction, or stimulate baby to breathe.
• Mom and baby are encouraged to bond and breastfeed uninterrupted immediately following birth for as long as the family desires.
• Once the family is ready, the midwife may perform the routine newborn checks either in Mom’s lap or on the bed in front of mom with the family looking on. Baby is weighed, measured, listened to with a stethoscope, temp taken, joints are checked, mouth is checked, reflexes are checked, etc etc. Mom is also checked for tears/blood pressure/excessive bleeding etc.
• No routine shots, eye drops, sugar water, formula, is given to baby so long as everything is normal and healthy. The family may choose to give the baby vitamin K orally if that is what they desire or feel is needed, but it is not a requirement.
• Under normal circumstances, baby is never separated from mom. Ever.
• After everything is checked out and signed off, the midwife and/or her assistant(s) clean up, start laundry, make sure mom is eating and drinking well, make sure breastfeeding is initiated and going well, gather up all their equipment, and leave the family to bond and rest alone in peace.
• Many follow-up visits are made in the following days and weeks to make sure everything continues to be normal and healthy and to help mom with breastfeeding if necessary.

5. Many homebirth moms feel that having their baby in the hospital setting is riskier than at home. Here’s why…

• Unwanted interventions are rampant in hospitals. Just call your local hospital and ask for their rates (if they will honestly give them to you, many won’t!). But some of these rates can be found in various places online. Rates of induction, pitocin, c-section, epidural, just to name a few.
• Unnecessary procedures and routines are often considered a requirement. Some require continuous fetal monitoring despite studies that have shown no improvement to outcomes and that intermittent monitoring is better. Some require IV. Some require an enema, IV, and pitocin upon admission. (There is a hospital near me that actually requires this. I’m not just making stuff up!)
• Strange surroundings, unfamiliar people, and medical equipment invading your space while you are in labor could upset your rhythm and cause your labor to stall or at the very least become less functional- this often ends up requiring pitocin to get you back up to speed. In the hospital they generally don’t want you laboring there for too long. You are on the clock. Along with pitocin comes IV and continuous fetal monitoring. This greatly limits your mobility and most likely tethers you to the hospital bed. That may cause you more pain and you may need pain relief…. etc etc. We call this the cascade of interventions and it can start with anything whatsoever. You may never know what triggered it. But it can very well end up in c-section or at least a very medically managed labor and birth.
• Hospitals are not sterile. The germs in your home are YOUR germs and will not harm your baby. The germs in the hospital are foreign to you and your baby and you are more likely to pick up something harmful there than in your own home. Remember, hospitals are generally for sick people!
• Hospitals are unfortunately most often not very supportive of natural, intervention-free birth and may make that difficult. If you are motivated and determined you can usually work around this. However, most OBs will not allow you to birth in whatever position you like and many nurses will not like it if you are out of bed or changing positions. Especially if they require continuous fetal monitoring, those monitors don’t stay put very well if you are moving around and some nurses get annoyed with this! (Ask me how I know…)
• Doctors are not as likely to let you go over your due date. Due dates are arbitrary and often not accurate, but they want to see babies come out on or before them. Most doctors in my area will not “allow” (I HATE that term) a mom to go more than 1 week past her due date. There is no evidence that supports this practice. It is fear-based medicine. Inductions are extremely overused and pushed on moms by using fear tactics.

 

Well, I’m gonna go ahead and post what I’ve got here, but it’s not as concise, organized, or as thorough as I would like, but I plan to come back and work on it continually- would even like to add some sources eventually! It’s a start…

I also need a new post of updated favorite homebirth articles and links! Haven’t done that in a while either!

Paperless Kitchen, Candles, and a Health Tip

• A friend of mine linked to this post and I thought it was inspiring. Truth be told, we have already done this to a certain extent, but I don’t know that we’re as organized or purposeful about it. We started trying to buy paper towels less quite a while ago with more or less success over time. Finally we bought some utilitarian-type cloths to use in place of paper towels to reinforce our efforts. They aren’t pretty, but are very functional. I use them to wipe counters, clean kid messes, dry dishes, and just about anything else you might use a paper towel for. They are very handy to have around! We need more of them, but every time I do a load of laundry I throw in whichever ones have been used and then take them straight out of the clean laundry and put them back in the clean basket in the kitchen so the turn-around is pretty fast and simple. It works so far and we haven’t bought disposable paper towels (or thrown away paper towels!) in many moons. That’s always a good thing!
• Another slow and gradual change for the better: beeswax candles. I think we only have one or two so far and still have mostly paraffin candles. Eventually I’d like to replace all paraffin candles with beeswax. It will take a while! They smell wonderful, last longer, drip less, and are healthier for us and for the environment. Instead of polluting the air, beeswax candles actually purify the air. Those who suffer from allergies can burn beeswax candles in their homes purely for this purpose. Pretty cool, huh?
• Health tip: Coconut Water is a healthy substitute for Gatorade or Pedialyte for staying hydrated. I have never understood the advice to drink corn syrup/sugar and artificial dyes for health! Coconut water has just the right balance of everything, so you don't need to dilute it or add anything to it; it's perfect the way it is. It might be hard to find but it's worth it if you are in need. It has a very mild coconutty taste.

Henry–6 months!

Henry:

• is still exclusively breastfed. Not a drop of formula so far and has never had a bottle either which is always my hope for my babies. I am pleased that we have made it this far.
• nurses about every 2-3 hours but gives me a couple longer stretches for naps and nighttime.
• has not exactly gotten easier with age unlike others of our kiddos. I love him so much, but he’s not exactly an easy baby. He was much easier as a younger baby! We. Are. really tired. But Tired has become the new normal so it’s hardly noticeable anymore. In the grand scheme this is such a brief season of life. And I love this season, so why wish it away or wish it different? But I will say that God made babies very cute for good reason. It’s a GOOD thing he is so cute! And I really can’t complain. I have known many a mom who had it way worse. Compared to many, Henry is still a breezy baby…. just not compared with MY other babies.
• has never yet (not even once!) worn a disposable diaper. This just dawned on me the other day that he’s never been in a disposable and I thought that was kinda cool. (Not that I planned it, it just happened that way.) So he’s been 100% in cloth diapers since day one. I love his little cloth diapers and his little cloth-covered bum is just the cutest! This is the easiest stage for cloth diapering (exclusively breastfed makes it just as easy as disposables anyway) so I am glad to be taking full advantage of it.
• is developmentally ahead of the curve and is miles ahead of where his brothers were at this age. It is weird to have a baby boy who is doing stuff at this age! It’s fun, but weird. He is basically the polar opposite of how his brothers were!
• he rolled over within a few weeks of being born and has been unstoppable ever since. From the very first time he rolled he was instantly an expert and could roll over no matter the terrain or whether he was swaddled or not.
• he started getting up on  hands and knees and hands/feet (picture the yoga pose “downward dog”) at about 4 months. Now he is crawling. (It’s a slow crawl, but very deliberate. And cute. But that’s a given!)
• he’s an athlete. Constantly. Moving. He does push-ups, pull-ups, sit-ups, planks, pilates, yoga… you name it. He does it. Apparently just for fun. The rest of his family is way lazier and we get tired just watching him.
• Along with being an athlete, he is very strong. No baby fat whatsoever. The boy has abs and “guns” and isn’t afraid to use them.
• he’s a bean pole and no matter how much he nurses (which is plenty, I assure you), he does not gain weight. He gets longer and learns new tricks. He is so skinny. We are starting to be scared about how much it might cost to feed the boy when he is older… Amazing metabolism.
• has been trying to pull up with great success. He is this close to mastering it. Did I mention he’s 6 months old!?
• is possibly the most physically strong and strong-willed of our kids so far. This is a scary combination! He fights sleep and is extremely good at fighting sleep. He is amazingly stubborn about it. And my goodness can he arch his back. Wow!
• he prefers his mommy and his daddy. Which is fine since we rarely try to leave him with anyone else anyway. I have one time attempted to let him stay in the nursery at our church. That lasted all of 5 minutes. He had to stay in another church nursery once while Steven and I played violin and he screamed the entire time and the nursery workers were Not Happy with us. We won’t be doing that again for a LONG time! He has never stayed with a sitter and accompanies us on all dates and outings. Sometimes it gets frustrating, but for us this is just life with a baby and in the end we wouldn’t trade it for anything!
• still loves to be carried around in a baby carrier. A sling, a wrap, moby, mei tai... Front carry, back carry, facing in, facing out. You name it, he likes it.
• he’s extremely expressive and has the sweetest smile you can imagine. We love him to pieces and have so much fun taking care of him. His brothers and sisters absolutely adore him and do a great job helping with him. (I do not think I would survive without their help, actually!)
• he’s growing up way too quickly. I miss my newborn, but he’s so fun. We’re always watching for what he’s going to do next!