What Being an ICAN Leader Means to Me

Our ICAN chapter has thrived and grown by leaps and bounds. Our local hospitals boast a climbing c-section rate getting dangerously close to 40%- which is sad and ridiculous. C-sections happening at that rate are doing way more harm than good and are unnecessarily risking moms and babies. It's obvious how much our community needs an ICAN chapter by how quickly our chapter is growing. We have new moms showing up at nearly every single meeting.

The moms that attend our meetings have found that (for a variety of reasons) birth matters to them. Having the best birth for themselves and their babies matters to them. Avoiding ridiculously unnecessary and risky surgery matters to them. Understanding what the best birth practices are according to the latest research is important to them. Knowing what care providers to avoid, what questions to ask, and what red flags to be aware of are important to these moms. Knowing all their options matters to them. "If you don't know your options, you don't have any." It is important to know. These moms truly understand that! It's a blessing and a privilege to see.

To these women, birth is more than just a way to get the baby out. It isn't a medical event. It's a very important LIFE event in both their lives and in the lives of their babies. A rite of passage. A hugely important part of the journey to motherhood. To these moms, the experience is also very important. They want to experience the birth of their baby in the most natural and healthy way possible. They want to be active and participate. They want to feel everything - good and bad, pleasure and pain, joy and fear - all the various intricate physical, emotional, mental, hormonal, and spiritual aspects of the birthing process. It all matters. Moms and babies matter. It is all important. It's important to the healthiest outcome for both the mom and the baby. These moms get it.

What being an ICAN leader means to me....

It means staying very current on all the latest research on birth. What is evidence based? What is fear based? What are current practices and why? What current standard practices are good and which ones need to go? What does the evidence support? What does the research say about special circumstances? VBAC after multiple c-sections? Advanced maternal age? VBAC with a special scar? Breech birth? Multiples birth? Low fluid? Big babies? And so much more. We ICAN leaders are researching all of this constantly. On a daily basis I'm doing at least a little birth-related research for ICAN or for whoever needs it - I'm always happy to help in any way possible! I find myself continually up to my elbows in medical research abstracts. My eyes begin to cross, but I keep digging deeper and searching harder. Because birth is my passion.

It means being available to help when it's wanted but holding back and staying silent when it's not wanted. The women at our meetings generally want the support, the research, the information, and the help; that is why they are there. But in my day-to-day life I have friends and acquaintances who may not. They know what I do. They know what my passion is. But some do not care about the birth experience. Some do not care about evidence-based-birth practices, finding a care provider who actually tries (or knows how!!!!) to avoid unnecessary surgery, the intricacies of the process, the research, the journey, etc in the same way or to the same extent. They don't care to have to fight for something that should just be the way things are. (It's not the way things are, which is why we must fight.) I understand not wanting the fight. But I will never ever understand the not caring enough to take on the fight and it endlessly perplexes and disturbs me. But I try to accept it and move on and just be available to those who DO care and who do want and need the help, support, and information that I can offer.

It means having some of the most fulfilling experiences of my life (aside from the births of my own babies!) helping those moms who DO need the research, the information  the support etc and find it with ICAN. When they go on to have the birth of their dreams, you cannot imagine how beautiful it is to hear their stories. To feel their joy. To celebrate with them! These are the moments that I live for.

It means being the middle man between some birth professionals and moms who don't know how to find what they need. It means seeking out that doula that will attend a birth for free. It means connecting a mom with a midwife who is the right fit for the moms' needs. It means having access to one of the largest birth networks in the country and being able to go to the other leaders on occasion to ask the hardest questions.

It means getting to see moms all over this country fighting for their best birth against all odds. For some it is a huge battle. They have to want it very badly, truly understand what it is they are fighting for, and really care about evidence-based-practices to fight the way they do. A twin VBAC, a VBAC after 3-c-sections, a breech VBAC, a VBAC with a classical scar, just to name a few. It means supporting them and cheering them on. It means being inspired by incredible women every day. It means helping them fight the good fight. It means being there to listen. It means seeing what can happen when a woman believes she can do it and then finds out that SHE CAN!!! Women are incredible. We were created to do this. And we can do it.

It means supporting those that for whatever reason have a traumatic birth and are disappointed. It means meeting them where they are and being there to listen and understand. It means listening to those c-section moms who didn't want a c-section trying to process what happened to them. (Whether medically necessary or not.) It means understanding that a healthy baby is not ALL that matters. A healthy baby is a very important piece of the puzzle, yes. But the mom matters too. Her physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being matter tremendously. We are there to listen. To help her process. To let her tell her story as many times as she needs. And to provide everything we can to aid in the healing process.

It means shedding so many tears. Tears of sadness and pain. Tears of unbelievable triumph and joy. Tears for those who don't get it or who have to learn the hard way. Tears for those who do not care and for those moms who will never even realize what they are missing. Tears for all the many unnecessary c-sections. Tears for the necessary c-sections that are still traumatic or difficult. Tears for birth/maternity care in America and how incredibly messed up it is right now. Tears for the moms and babies who are being harmed in the meantime while we try to fix this mess. Tears for the moms who fight long and hard and ultimately triumph and hold their baby for the first time with a huge "I can't believe I DID IT!" grin on their faces. That right there makes all the tears and battle scars worth it. There's a very good reason I do this, and I will keep on doing it.

Ten Reasons YOU May Need to Switch Care Providers

(This applies to anyone seeking a natural birth or who wishes to avoid an unnecessary c-section regardless of whether or not you have a cesarean birth in your history.)

1. If your care provider is in a practice of 2 or more (or 8!?) doctors who may or may not be supportive of VBAC, switch care providers!!!
1. Even if you found one provider in a big practice who is sincerely supportive of VBAC, it is often the case that this provider will need to induce you in order to make certain that he/she is “on call” during your birth. This decreases your chance of successful VBAC while also increasing your risk of uterine rupture AND repeat c-section. It’s a LOSE LOSE LOSE!!!
2. If you are allowed to go into labor spontaneously you run the chance of your supportive provider NOT being on call and ending up with Dr. C-section who hates VBACs and refuses to support them.

2. If your care provider is unable or unwilling to give you his/her exact stats, switch care providers!!!
1. C-section rate? VBAC success rate? How many VBACs attended? If your provider is really supportive of your VBAC, you can expect him/her to easily and willingly share exact stats.
2. Look for a provider who is very experienced and comfortable with VBAC and has assisted in many VBAC deliveries. You should look for a provider with at least a 75% success rate with VBAC deliveries. I’ve actually seen some providers with a 95% or higher rate!
3. This bears repeating. Find a provider who is very experienced and supportive of VBAC deliveries. This person should not just be “willing” to “let you try” as a VBAC mom, but also be excited and happy for you and clearly EXPECT you to be successful!

3. If your care provider keeps using language that indicates he/she may be skeptical of your ability to give birth vaginally, switch care providers!!!
1. Look for key phrases like...
1. “Birth is unpredictable so we’ll see what happens.”
2. “I’ll let you try, but I require certain things just in case...”
3. “IF you go into labor by (set deadline) and IF you progress at (set rate of labor progression), then you MIGHT be able to have a VBAC.”

4. If your care provider does not give accurate and up-to-date evidence based statistics, birth practices, or information in general, switch care providers!!!
1. This puts some of the responsibility on you to look up the current practice bulletins, know the latest VBAC research, rupture stats, induction stats, best birth practices, etc. So do your homework so that you will know if your provider is feeding you BS or even just their own personal biases against VBAC.

5. If your care provider at any point has an anecdotal horror story involving a VBAC that he/she feels compelled to share with you, switch care providers!!!
1. Any care provider that has clearly been “scared” by VBAC is not ultimately going to be supportive even if he/she says “I’m willing to let you try.”

6. If your care provider says he/she is supportive of VBAC, but is discouraging of your taking an independent childbirth class and/or hiring a doula switch care providers!!!
1. This may be a sign of the classic “bait and switch.” Unfortunately, it is very common. A mom may feel very supported in her desire to VBAC.... until 36 weeks when suddenly the doctor starts saying things like, “Are you still sure you want to attempt a VBAC?” (Add possible random scare tactics thrown about haphazardly to make mom feel intimidated. Maybe a scary anecdote from the past thrown in for good measure.) Run, do not walk, AWAY from this care provider. It is never too late to fire your provider until you have given birth!

7. If you genuinely LIKE your care provider but are unsure of their ability to support your VBAC, but are also afraid to “hurt their feelings” by switching care providers, GET OVER IT AND switch care providers!!!
1. Even if you “click” with this person and just love him/her to pieces. Even if you are best buds and have warm fuzzies every time you are together. Even if you have every single thing in the world in common. Warm fuzzies will not support your VBAC!!!!
2. It does not matter if you have organic gardening in common and love knitting together, this will not get you your VBAC.
3. Even if you are afraid to switch, it is actually unlikely that you’ll hurt anyone’s feelings. We’ve even seen moms switch and the OB didn’t even notice. They see so many moms, this is often the case. Do not EVER be afraid to switch at any point in your pregnancy.
4. You are just one person out of hundreds of patients your provider is likely seeing. You are not going to be the one to change his/her mind about VBAC. Nor should you be. Do not put yourself into that position!
5. We are talking about the health and well being of you and your baby here, it is not worth risking over fear of hurting feelings or fear of leaving someone you “get along” with. You need a provider who practices evidence based birth and believes in your ability to give birth, not a buddy with whom you can chat comfortably.

8. If your care provider does not clearly love VBAC, switch care providers!!!
1. Care providers with the best VBAC success rates honestly enjoy supporting VBAC moms and have a solid belief in the moms’ abilities to give birth normally!
2. Your provider should understand that VBAC is supported by the evidence as the option that is in the best interest of you and your baby! It will be clear from the beginning that this provider wants you to get the birth you want and will do everything possible to support you in achieving that birth.
3. If your care provider does not actually want you to be successful with VBAC in the end, you most likely won’t be.

9. If you have missed the “bait and switch” signs until the very end it is not too late to switch care providers!!!
1. If your provider is all the sudden throwing around scary stories, scary stats, or obvious scare tactics, it is still not too late to switch!
2. If your provider does a late term ultrasound and cries “LOW FLUID!” or “BIG BABY!” or even mentions that maybe you’re a little overweight and might not be able to give birth (say it with me!), switch care providers!!!

10. If you are not 100% sure that your care provider is the most VBAC supportive care provider you can find, switch care providers!!!
1. I cannot emphasize enough that just being “comfortable” with a certain care provider IS NOT ENOUGH. You may feel very trusting of this person, but if this person does not 100% believe in YOUR BODY and YOUR ABILITY to birth your baby, all the comfort and trust in the world will not get you the safest and healthiest birth for you and your baby!
2. A care provider that is genuinely supportive of your VBAC will not only say, “I will support you.” but also may (hopefully!) say encouraging things like, “You are a great candidate for VBAC! I see no reason why you shouldn’t be able to give birth vaginally!” This provider not only will support you, but WANTS this right alongside you and will go the distance to support every measure to get you that VBAC. This provider is practicing evidence-based medicine rather than fear-based! This is your best chance for a safe and healthy birth!

A Great Quote from the President of ICAN

Natural birth is not about suffering, being a show off or doing it just for the experience. It IS about working with your baby and body. It IS about what evidence says is overall the healthiest option. About tuning into your instincts. About patience, determination, stamina, & getting over the wall that so many of us hit. It isn't often about pain free though that can happen. If I can do it, so can you.

I totally agree. And she says correctly that it isn't "just for the experience." That is also true for me, though I have to admit that the experience itself is life-changing and something I will cherish forever.

I would add that the same goes for VBAC and it deeply pains me to see so many women who won't even consider it or try because of all the misinformation they've been fed and all the misconceptions they have.