A Chair of Bowlies

Surreal Experiences

2011-10-21T23:59:00.005-04:00

These last few days have felt so strange. Like they aren't real. Like it's all just a bad dream. I see pictures of Christina and think there's just no way she's actually gone. It sounds ridiculous to me that this dear girl that I've been close to for the past 3 years would have left us so soon.

I was at symphony rehearsal on Tuesday evening (October 18) when my phone had a seizure in my back pocket. I received several messages/texts/phone calls/voicemails left for me ALL AT ONCE. It seriously was like a little explosion of buzzes (thankfully all silent, but I definitely felt them. :P). I knew SOMETHING was up.

I tried to discretely check messages while sitting in rehearsal (which is so unprofessional, by the way)....

"Christina is in ICU and they're suspecting a blood clot."

"Okay," I think. I'm trying to process and still stay somewhat present in rehearsal. I thought, "I'm glad she's in the ICU. I'm sure they'll take good care of her. God be with her and get her better quick. Help her family."

Rehearsal continued. More messages.

"They've got her in a medically induced coma. The goal is to keep the blood clot from reaching any vital organs."

All I could think at that point is, "This sounds really serious. Please God. Help her." All the while I was thinking - she WILL get through this. She's a fighter. She's so strong! I know God will save her. Her family needs her TOO much to lose her. I cannot lose my friend.

I was also racking my brain to think of how this could have happened to her. Why this would happen to her. Underlying causes? Related to the baby she recently lost? HOW? WHY WHY WHY!?

That night, I slept semi-peacefully still assuring myself that Christina would be okay. She had to be. It was as simple as that.

Then the next morning, the messages really started scaring me.

"She's near eternity right now. Please join us in prayer as the faithful staff at Erlanger Hospital do everything they can to save her life."

All Wednesday I sobbed and cried out to God to please save her. Her little girls need their mommy. Christian needs his wife.

Wednesday afternoon Steven dropped me off at Michelle's house with some snack foods. She drove me to the hospital where we saw Christina's oldest two girls and Christian. They were hugging each other and sobbing. Eventually Locksley (Christina's oldest girl who is 15) held Michelle's baby girl and I got to see Locksley's beautiful smile which is reminiscent of Christina. But her eyes are totally her daddy's. She's a gorgeous girl, even when it's obvious that she has been crying all day and probably had not slept.

We got the food set out for all the family in the hospital and as of that moment we were told that Christina was teetering on the edge, but from what I understood, she was about as stable as she could be at the time. Perhaps even more stable than she'd been all day. I felt a tiny glimmer of hope. Maybe it was just my optimistic interpretation of what I heard. Probably.

We stayed for a while and talked to friends and family of Christina gathered there in the halls right outside the ICU knowing she was in there somewhere. Still very near eternity. I tried not to cry, but it was futile. Silent tears welled up at nearly every thought running through my brain. I desperately wanted to see my friend again and have more gatherings with her and Michelle and Rachel like we had done so many times before. Our last one could not possibly have been THE last. No no no. I played the scene in my head of Christina waking up and visiting her in the hospital bringing her flowers and balloons and getting to tell her how scared we had been and how relieved that she's miraculously healed. I really hoped that scene would come to life soon.

It got to be around 7:15 and I needed to be at symphony rehearsal soon. I wondered if I ought to arrive late or not go or.... ??? I had no idea what I really should do. But things seemed somewhat stable and we were all praying so hard for Christina. We would get through this.

Rachel dropped me off at the Tivoli for my rehearsal. On the way (just a few blocks from the hospital downtown to the Tivoli), she and I talked about Christina and cried together for our friend (yet again).

I cried before we started rehearsing and symphony friends asked what was up. I tried to explain.

Rehearsal started. I had told Rachel and Michelle to keep me up to date no matter what. Not long after rehearsal started (7:30pm) on that fateful Wednesday evening, I received a text. I took a glance at my phone...

"Not good." was all it said.

My heart was in my throat as we continued to rehearse. It was so surreal to sit there playing intensely beautiful music while pondering what "Not good." meant. The world around me was continuing to spin while I knew that for the dear ones just a few blocks away in that hospital, time had absolutely stopped. It made no sense.

Christina was already "Not good." So I knew deep in my heart it probably meant she was gone. She was either gone or quickly on the way.

As soon as I was on break I texted Rachel, "I am on break for 15 minutes." Momentarily my phone rang. It was Rachel. Then came the words I had so dreaded for the entire day.

"She's gone."

I protested as much as I could, "What!? No!! What happened? I was just there!! She was OK. I thought we were somewhat stable? So that's it!? That's just.... IT????"

Rachel just sobbed on the other end. In the background I could hear Christina's girls and husband wailing for Christina. Completely devastated, completely uninhibited, raw grief, anguished wailing.

My friend Susan told me I should leave. But I had no car. I was depending on Laura to drive me home. (She plays in the symphony and lives where we do. I often get rides with her.)

So I silently cried through the rest of symphony. I played all the notes, but tears constantly blurred my vision. My heart was not there.

That night at home I openly cried for the rest of the evening. I cried well into the night. I struggled to sleep. I woke up and cried some more. I cried so much on Thursday that my eyes started to burn terribly and I could barely keep them open. I began to feel numb and like I had cried all the tears I could possibly cry.

I had a symphony concert Thursday night. I felt all "cried out" which I suppose was good. I was able to function for my concert. I was even able to smile and be sociable and say "I'm fine" when people inquired. That's what we're supposed to do, right?

Today I guess I've been mostly OK. Tears here and there when I ponder these events. When I remember again the last time I saw Christina and think about the fact that I SHOULD HAVE STAYED at the hospital on Wednesday. That part digs at me constantly. I should have been there with Rachel, Michelle, and Christina's husband and girls.

After she coded and the hospital staff stopped attempting resuscitation, they let the friends and family in to pay their final respects. As strange as it sounds, I deeply regret not being there for that. I wish I could have seen Christina one last time even if it was just the shell of Christina. But it would have been good for closure and to say goodbye in my little earthly way. I know it absolutely doesn't matter in the grand scheme, but I had not seen her since June and that is devastating to me.

Please continue to hold her family in your prayers. And donate to the fund or get others to! Please please please pass that link on to everyone you can. This family needs so much love and support right now. This is a small way in which we can show our love and support for them right now. I REALLY appreciate all you who have already donated and have passed it on. You can't know how much it has helped, but trust me- it has done a tremendous amount of good. Keep it up! It means the world to me and I can't thank you enough.

Please Help a Family in Need

2011-10-21T00:46:00.003-04:00

A beloved friend died suddenly and unexpectedly on Wednesday. I was at the hospital up until about 30 minutes before she passed away and I cannot tell you how deeply I regret leaving when I did.

So many regrets right now. Life is short. Life is precious. Hug your friends. Tell them you love them. Take pictures of your friends when they are happy and having a good time together. I really wish I had.

Christina was a vibrant 35-yr-old homeschooling mom and leaves behind a precious husband and 5 beautiful daughters who all adored her.

First of all, please PRAY for this sweet family as they grieve the unspeakable loss of a wife and mother.

A few of us have gotten together and created a donation site for Christina's family. If you knew Christina and want to help, please do. If you didn't know Christina and want to help, please do! The same goes for sharing this. Please please post this on your blogs, your facebook pages, email it to your friends, and post it to any public places you can think of.

I'm hoping- though nothing could possibly be adequate for this family right now- that this will at least alleviate any immediate needs however big or small. Living expenses, medical expenses, funeral expenses. Right now I just want them to be able to love on each other, grieve together, and take all the time they need to figure out how to proceed from here. So please donate, pass on this link, spread the word - do anything and everything you can to help a family in tragedy.

ICAN

2011-08-17T15:42:00.001-04:00

Our little ICAN chapter has thrived and grown by leaps and bounds. We still haven’t reached all the women that we can and should, but we are trying very hard and have made so much progress!

Several very exciting things have happened which I will get to soon, but first I have to talk about how amazing it is to be a part of these girls’ journeys to VBAC. To meet and see a girl from her first meeting to when she comes to a meeting after her VBAC is a huge transformation and I love it every step of the way! Most girls who come in seeking support after a disappointing birth come very defeated, emotional, possibly struggling with post partum depression. Some are utterly traumatized at how they were treated and cannot tell their stories without sobbing uncontrollably. We hand them tissues and just listen.

It’s so wonderful to see these girls come back again over and over until they are blessed with another pregnancy and then to choose the right provider for them, the right location for them, and continue to come to meetings to arm themselves with education and information and then come back one day with their VBAC baby in arms just radiant and triumphant!

Our little chapter has already had 7 VBACs just that I can think of off the top of my head. It could be closer to 10! It has been SUCH a blessing to be part of this process!

Just in the past few months a couple of very exciting things happened. 1) An OB attended one of our meetings. 2) Because of this meeting, this OB agreed to perform a “family centered cesarean” for one of our moms who needed a c-section. She showed him all the research backing it and he attended our meeting on the topic to gather more information and he made it happen right here in Chattanooga! It was Chattanooga’s very first family centered cesarean. The mom came back to our most recent meeting and told her story and it was remarkable and wonderful! This is a huge step for our little community and ICAN was a BIG part of that step! I could not be more thrilled!

In short, I feel like our little chapter could do a lot more, but I also feel that we’ve been able to help so many people and have accomplished a lot in a short amount of time. I’m always so excited and looking forward to our next meeting. I love it!

I know I know…

2011-08-09T11:45:00.001-04:00

I haven’t blogged in forever and then the first thing I do is post a huge long boring epic that most people probably won’t care about. So sorry about that!

Lately all I know how to update on is the kids. What else is there!?

Well Henry consumes a lot of our time and energy because he’s a higher needs baby than we’ve had before. It gets better sometimes, and it gets worse sometimes, but right now I think we are the upswing.

He may have a slight intolerance of dairy which could actually explain a lot and I had thought of it before and had cut out dairy from my diet, but after seeking the opinion of someone more experienced with food sensitivities than I, it seems I did not cut it out for long enough to make a difference. But the intolerance can affect activity level (he is very active- always has been), sleep quality, absorption, and weight gain. So many of the issues we’ve had with Henry fit this perfectly. So off of dairy we go. I don’t mind it so much except for cheese and the occasional ice cream. But cheese, oh cheese- how I love thee!

Henry started solids about a month ago now and has done fairly well with it. He definitely loves to eat. He still nurses insatiably, typically every 2-3 hours. We keep thinking with all this nursing and eating that he will shoot up and out very soon! Maybe with removing dairy, his system will get itself worked out soon and he will. I hope so! He loves peas, avocado, eggs, pears, roast beef, pork chops, sweet potato…. yes- he has tried quite the variety of foods already. He demands to eat whenever we are eating so sometimes we have had to get creative! lol

His sleep has been so inconsistent! We’ll have a few really good nights and think that we are in the home stretch to recovering from the exhausted haze that we’ve been in for the past 9 months, and then he starts right back up again being up all night and…. uuuuuugh.

When he is happy, he is very very happy; but when he is sad? Look out!

We did achieve an amazing milestone this past Sunday. He stayed in the nursery for a whole hour. WITHOUT ME. First time ever! I took him to the nursery to play and nurse during the church service (which is our tradition when he starts to "talk” in church) and I noticed that he was much more interested in playing than he ever had been before. He was even letting go of ME and exploring his surroundings a little. I realized that I may very well be able to sneak out for Sunday School. So I seized the opportunity and got to (for the first time in as long as I can remember) sit through an entire Sunday School Class. And it was a really good one too – I think God planned that for me! I am so grateful! The nursery worker ended up having to hold him once he noticed I was gone (which only took a moment after I left according to her. Woops.), but he was still okay with her holding him. I’m so thankful she was willing to hold him that whole time!

He has been crawling since around 5-6 months old and pulling up since 7 months old and climbing up our stairs since 8 months old. Did I mention he’s super active? He follows me around no matter where I go. And he is, of course, still irresistibly adorable!

Speaking of which, I hear him now- just waking up from a nap! Gotta run…

Breaking It Down

2011-08-09T10:11:00.001-04:00

Recently I was challenged to explain why I consider homebirth safe.

I realized that it is so much more complex than most medical professionals realize. I think sometimes they tend to see this issue as very black and white. Hospital = SAFE and Home = UNSAFE. Period.

But it goes so much deeper for us moms and for me it is much more complicated and difficult to explain! As I started to try to explain I couldn’t even do it in an organized and cohesive way. So I wanted to get it all down here in as organized a fashion is as possible.

1. I think that the most important aspect of the homebirth choice is Birth Philosophy.

First of all, it must be accepted that all of life is risky. People die. Bad stuff happens. There is risk in everything we do. Including birth. There are situations in which a baby born at home may die because it was home and not hospital. There are also situations in which a baby born in the hospital may die because it was the hospital and not at home. It is about weighing the risks and benefits and understanding that birth is risky whether at home OR in the hospital. Some of the risks are different depending on location – also worth considering.
In the medical community, birth is (most often) an unpredictable and dangerous medical event that must be controlled and managed in order to be safe.
In the homebirth community, birth is considered:

natural
intimate
private
incontrollable
powerful
something which to respect and trust that the mom and baby know instinctively how to do
best left alone in order to be safe

Think of things that we do all the time that are private and/or intimate. How would you feel if you had an audience for these simple, natural processes? the same principles apply to birth. It is a private natural event that God perfectly designed us to do, usually without outside assistance. Women GIVE BIRTH. Women deliver their own babies! Doctors and Midwives DO NOT “deliver” babies. Moms do all that and maybe the professionals might assist, but I hate the phrase “Dr. X delivered the baby.” I suppose when a mom is unable to push the baby out or needs a c-section it is more accurate to say that the doctor “delivered” the baby, but for a normal un-medicated birth, it’s just not appropriate to let the doctor or midwife take credit for that.

2. Homebirth midwives take much more Preventative Measures than your average medical doctor and treat the client as Holistically as possible. They acknowledge that there is much more to a person’s health and well-being than just the condition of the physical body.

Prenatal appointments are typically 1-2 hours long
A strong and trusting relationship is built between the midwife and birthing family
Topics are wide and varied covering every aspect of the whole health of the women such as:

diet/nutrition
exercise
nutritional supplements to optimize health
herbal teas and infusions to further boost mineral and vitamin levels and to tone the uterus and prepare the body for labor and birth
How to healthfully prevent common pregnancy ailments, conditions, and complications
alternative healthier remedies to common pregnancy ailments
chiropractic care, acupuncture, massage, to name a few.
emotional well being, stress levels, spiritual well being, etc.
optimal fetal positioning which is crucial for a safe and easy delivery

Hemoglobin is tracked prenatally and supplements are taken prenatally to ensure a healthy blood supply and to prevent post partum hemorrhage
A back-up plan is made in which the midwife and parents agree which hospital would be best in case of transport and how to most quickly get there etc.

3. Homebirth midwives bring much more with them than many seem to realize. Midwives come equipped to handle most complications.

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard, “Well my baby would have died if we’d had a homebirth because……”

In almost every case the end of that sentence is something that is absolutely untrue because a midwife would be equipped to handle it.

Meconium aspiration? Midwives carry suctioning for precisely that reason. Baby didn’t breathe right away? Needed resuscitation? Midwives carry resuscitation equipment (and oxygen) and are trained to use it. Severe Post Partum Hemorrhage? Midwives carry a variety of anti-hemorrhage drugs to stop hemorrhage or at least stabilize it in order to safely transport to the nearest hospital. Needed fluids during labor or after? Midwives carry IV supplies and can start a line if necessary. Retained Placenta? Believe it or not, they are trained to handle that as well. It’s not pleasant (not pleasant no matter where you are!), but can be handled safely. If not, you would be stabilized and transported safely to the nearest hospital. Midwives are also prepared to handle tears and have sutures and the necessary equipment and drugs to do it as comfortably as possible.

Yes, there are a few very rare horrible complications that could happen and would be awful no matter where you are. But there is no guarantee that the outcome would be any different in the hospital. A few that come to mind are placental abruption, cord prolapse, uterine rupture… all extremely rare. And babies sometimes die from these complications-- even in the hospital. There are no guarantees in life.

The only things I feel a homebirth midwife cannot do are:

surgery (if you need a c-section or if your baby needs surgery the order of events would be: stabilization and transport.)

blood transfusions. If you lose enough blood to require transfusions, you would again be stabilized (probably including IV fluids and obviously meds to stop the bleeding) and transported to get the blood you need.

And again, these are things that midwives and their clients work very hard prenatally to prevent and thus, they are rarely necessary.

4. At a homebirth it is also vitally important to homebirth families and their midwives that the baby is always handled gently, respectfully, kindly, and with love. So the Postpartum Care is also drastically different from in the hospital. This part may be THE most important aspect to me (but that’s hard to pinpoint).

So long as baby comes out vigorous and pinking up nicely, the baby is given directly to mama (or the mama catches her own baby and keeps the baby in arms immediately following birth!)

The cord is not cut until the family wants it to be. There are many benefits for baby to receive all of his placenta and cord blood. This makes for stronger healthier babies and a gentler transition to having to take that first breath!

Even if there are signs of a problem the cord is not cut as that would cut the baby off from his sole supply of blood and oxygen which can keep the baby safe from brain damage longer than if it is cut immediately and the baby is unable to breathe right away.

Also, if there is a problem with the baby, the baby is still placed on mom’s tummy/chest as the midwife does what is necessary to resuscitate, suction, or stimulate baby to breathe.

Mom and baby are encouraged to bond and breastfeed uninterrupted immediately following birth for as long as the family desires.

Once the family is ready, the midwife may perform the routine newborn checks either in Mom’s lap or on the bed in front of mom with the family looking on. Baby is weighed, measured, listened to with a stethoscope, temp taken, joints are checked, mouth is checked, reflexes are checked, etc etc. Mom is also checked for tears/blood pressure/excessive bleeding etc.

No routine shots, eye drops, sugar water, formula, is given to baby so long as everything is normal and healthy. The family may choose to give the baby vitamin K orally if that is what they desire or feel is needed, but it is not a requirement.

Under normal circumstances, baby is never separated from mom. Ever.

After everything is checked out and signed off, the midwife and/or her assistant(s) clean up, start laundry, make sure mom is eating and drinking well, make sure breastfeeding is initiated and going well, gather up all their equipment, and leave the family to bond and rest alone in peace.

Many follow-up visits are made in the following days and weeks to make sure everything continues to be normal and healthy and to help mom with breastfeeding if necessary.

5. Many homebirth moms feel that having their baby in the hospital setting is riskier than at home. Here’s why…

Unwanted interventions are rampant in hospitals. Just call your local hospital and ask for their rates (if they will honestly give them to you, many won’t!). But some of these rates can be found in various places online. Rates of induction, pitocin, c-section, epidural, just to name a few.

Unnecessary procedures and routines are often considered a requirement. Some require continuous fetal monitoring despite studies that have shown no improvement to outcomes and that intermittent monitoring is better. Some require IV. Some require an enema, IV, and pitocin upon admission. (There is a hospital near me that actually requires this. I’m not just making stuff up!)

Strange surroundings, unfamiliar people, and medical equipment invading your space while you are in labor could upset your rhythm and cause your labor to stall or at the very least become less functional- this often ends up requiring pitocin to get you back up to speed. In the hospital they generally don’t want you laboring there for too long. You are on the clock. Along with pitocin comes IV and continuous fetal monitoring. This greatly limits your mobility and most likely tethers you to the hospital bed. That may cause you more pain and you may need pain relief…. etc etc. We call this the cascade of interventions and it can start with anything whatsoever. You may never know what triggered it. But it can very well end up in c-section or at least a very medically managed labor and birth.

Hospitals are not sterile. The germs in your home are YOUR germs and will not harm your baby. The germs in the hospital are foreign to you and your baby and you are more likely to pick up something harmful there than in your own home. Remember, hospitals are generally for sick people!

Hospitals are unfortunately most often not very supportive of natural, intervention-free birth and may make that difficult. If you are motivated and determined you can usually work around this. However, most OBs will not allow you to birth in whatever position you like and many nurses will not like it if you are out of bed or changing positions. Especially if they require continuous fetal monitoring, those monitors don’t stay put very well if you are moving around and some nurses get annoyed with this! (Ask me how I know…)

Doctors are not as likely to let you go over your due date. Due dates are arbitrary and often not accurate, but they want to see babies come out on or before them. Most doctors in my area will not “allow” (I HATE that term) a mom to go more than 1 week past her due date. There is no evidence that supports this practice. It is fear-based medicine. Inductions are extremely overused and pushed on moms by using fear tactics.

Well, I’m gonna go ahead and post what I’ve got here, but it’s not as concise, organized, or as thorough as I would like, but I plan to come back and work on it continually- would even like to add some sources eventually! It’s a start…

I also need a new post of updated favorite homebirth articles and links! Haven’t done that in a while either!

Paperless Kitchen, Candles, and a Health Tip

2011-05-20T22:13:00.001-04:00

A friend of mine linked to this post and I thought it was inspiring. Truth be told, we have already done this to a certain extent, but I don’t know that we’re as organized or purposeful about it. We started trying to buy paper towels less quite a while ago with more or less success over time. Finally we bought some utilitarian-type cloths to use in place of paper towels to reinforce our efforts. They aren’t pretty, but are very functional. I use them to wipe counters, clean kid messes, dry dishes, and just about anything else you might use a paper towel for. They are very handy to have around! We need more of them, but every time I do a load of laundry I throw in whichever ones have been used and then take them straight out of the clean laundry and put them back in the clean basket in the kitchen so the turn-around is pretty fast and simple. It works so far and we haven’t bought disposable paper towels (or thrown away paper towels!) in many moons. That’s always a good thing!
Another slow and gradual change for the better: beeswax candles. I think we only have one or two so far and still have mostly paraffin candles. Eventually I’d like to replace all paraffin candles with beeswax. It will take a while! They smell wonderful, last longer, drip less, and are healthier for us and for the environment. Instead of polluting the air, beeswax candles actually purify the air. Those who suffer from allergies can burn beeswax candles in their homes purely for this purpose. Pretty cool, huh?
Health tip: Coconut Water is a healthy substitute for Gatorade or Pedialyte for staying hydrated. I have never understood the advice to drink corn syrup/sugar and artificial dyes for health! Coconut water has just the right balance of everything, so you don't need to dilute it or add anything to it; it's perfect the way it is. It might be hard to find but it's worth it if you are in need. It has a very mild coconutty taste.

Henry–6 months!

2011-05-18T10:26:00.002-04:00

Henry:

is still exclusively breastfed. Not a drop of formula so far and has never had a bottle either which is always my hope for my babies. I am pleased that we have made it this far.
nurses about every 2-3 hours but gives me a couple longer stretches for naps and nighttime.
has not exactly gotten easier with age unlike others of our kiddos. I love him so much, but he’s not exactly an easy baby. He was much easier as a younger baby! We. Are. really tired. But Tired has become the new normal so it’s hardly noticeable anymore. In the grand scheme this is such a brief season of life. And I love this season, so why wish it away or wish it different? But I will say that God made babies very cute for good reason. It’s a GOOD thing he is so cute! And I really can’t complain. I have known many a mom who had it way worse. Compared to many, Henry is still a breezy baby…. just not compared with MY other babies.
has never yet (not even once!) worn a disposable diaper. This just dawned on me the other day that he’s never been in a disposable and I thought that was kinda cool. (Not that I planned it, it just happened that way.) So he’s been 100% in cloth diapers since day one. I love his little cloth diapers and his little cloth-covered bum is just the cutest! This is the easiest stage for cloth diapering (exclusively breastfed makes it just as easy as disposables anyway) so I am glad to be taking full advantage of it.
is developmentally ahead of the curve and is miles ahead of where his brothers were at this age. It is weird to have a baby boy who is doing stuff at this age! It’s fun, but weird. He is basically the polar opposite of how his brothers were!
he rolled over within a few weeks of being born and has been unstoppable ever since. From the very first time he rolled he was instantly an expert and could roll over no matter the terrain or whether he was swaddled or not.
he started getting up on hands and knees and hands/feet (picture the yoga pose “downward dog”) at about 4 months. Now he is crawling. (It’s a slow crawl, but very deliberate. And cute. But that’s a given!)
he’s an athlete. Constantly. Moving. He does push-ups, pull-ups, sit-ups, planks, pilates, yoga… you name it. He does it. Apparently just for fun. The rest of his family is way lazier and we get tired just watching him.
Along with being an athlete, he is very strong. No baby fat whatsoever. The boy has abs and “guns” and isn’t afraid to use them.
he’s a bean pole and no matter how much he nurses (which is plenty, I assure you), he does not gain weight. He gets longer and learns new tricks. He is so skinny. We are starting to be scared about how much it might cost to feed the boy when he is older… Amazing metabolism.
has been trying to pull up with great success. He is this close to mastering it. Did I mention he’s 6 months old!?
is possibly the most physically strong and strong-willed of our kids so far. This is a scary combination! He fights sleep and is extremely good at fighting sleep. He is amazingly stubborn about it. And my goodness can he arch his back. Wow!
he prefers his mommy and his daddy. Which is fine since we rarely try to leave him with anyone else anyway. I have one time attempted to let him stay in the nursery at our church. That lasted all of 5 minutes. He had to stay in another church nursery once while Steven and I played violin and he screamed the entire time and the nursery workers were Not Happy with us. We won’t be doing that again for a LONG time! He has never stayed with a sitter and accompanies us on all dates and outings. Sometimes it gets frustrating, but for us this is just life with a baby and in the end we wouldn’t trade it for anything!
still loves to be carried around in a baby carrier. A sling, a wrap, moby, mei tai... Front carry, back carry, facing in, facing out. You name it, he likes it.
he’s extremely expressive and has the sweetest smile you can imagine. We love him to pieces and have so much fun taking care of him. His brothers and sisters absolutely adore him and do a great job helping with him. (I do not think I would survive without their help, actually!)
he’s growing up way too quickly. I miss my newborn, but he’s so fun. We’re always watching for what he’s going to do next!

Heart and Earth

2011-04-17T12:26:00.001-04:00

So a lot has happened since the last time I posted! It’s overwhelming really. I could write an epic I think if I were to include all the interesting details. Life has been very eventful lately!

ICAN Conference – How could I possibly ever sum it up? I’m not sure I even have it in me to try! There is just too much. I’m STILL just trying to process everything! The conference manual met rave reviews and I was tickled pink with how well received it was! I’m already totally pumped and looking forward to the next conference. I loved being a part of conference planning and learned a lot through the process. I already have a lot of ideas on how to improve for next time! I also already volunteered to be responsible for the conference manual again. I re-volunteered for the position prior to even leaving St. Louis. I texted Steven right after and let him know I volunteered. He texted back and said, “Are you SOBER!?” lol
Steven attempted to chop off his thumb with a chisel while caring for the four oldest kids by himself. He survived and thrived in spite of it. He’s SUPERMAN!
We have an awesome new compost bin that Steven made by himself. (Highly related to the previous bullet point…)
I finally bit the bullet and got my Etsy shop started called Heart and Earth Organics and Steven reserved the web domain www.heartandearth.com for me. For now it links directly to Etsy, but makes an easy way for me to share.
I have created lots of new things for my shop but am to the point where things need to sell before I get all excited about the new ideas I have stored up in my head. I have a lot more to add and a lot more cool ideas ready to try out, but I think I need to focus more on marketing and less on product development for a while. I’ve been getting ahead of myself with listing new things. It’s very fun, but moving current inventory is quite necessary now! I can’t really afford to lose inventory or replace lacking ingredients yet! I am not great with marketing so any and all help would be SO appreciated! Please share on your blogs, facebook walls, or anywhere else you are willing that is appropriate. I would be forever grateful!

Nursing Henry

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I have nursed 5 babies now (I admit-- with hugely varying degrees of success!) and I’m still learning new things about breastfeeding all the time. Henry is (surprise surprise) different from all my other babies even in the way he nurses. He is still thriving exclusively on mama’s milk here at nearly 4 months old! He has never had a drop of anything but breast milk and has only had expressed milk once. (4 ounces- which were painstakingly expressed over several days and were fed to him in a Medela soft cup feeder.)

With Henry I have felt like I needed a little more support in nursing so I have been attending LLL meetings which are wonderful! The lactation consultants there are very helpful and give practical tips for trouble-shooting. I’ve been so glad that I went! I’ve been learning a lot. Plus it is nice to be able to relate with other breastfeeding moms!

I do regret that Henry is very dependent on a pacifier, but he needed something when I couldn’t be immediately available during my December gig-season. I feel that the pacifier has negatively impacted our nursing relationship in some ways, but thankfully it hasn’t hurt our nursing relationship beyond repair. He still nurses and gets what he needs. It’s just not quite as easy as it could be sometimes. My babies who didn’t take pacifiers until they were older seemed more contented during and after nursing.

Henry is what I call a “fussy nurser.” I’ve learned that I do not “let down” easily which means that Henry really has to work for it! This is why bottles are not an option at all for my babies as they destroy my ability to breastfeed. They never want to nurse again if they get a bottle! So Henry works for it, but he complains loudly the whole time. He pops off and fusses about every 3-5 seconds until he gets what he wants. And then he complains again when it slows. And he hates being done (very much like Ephraim, I have to say!). So he’s never quiet or discreet about it. Gone are the days that I could easily nurse in church or Sunday school with hardly anyone noticing. At the LLL meetings I see other moms nurse their little babies and the babies are so quiet and sweet and then when they are done they are satisfied and grateful. Not Henry! You’d think he doesn’t get enough, but I know he does! It is frustrating to me at times, but oh well. Being a mom is sometimes a thankless job. I can deal.

With every baby I have had to remind myself to look at the baby, not at the scale. I just don’t have chunky babies who are always content and satisfied. Yet they thrive, have plenty of wet diapers, meet developmental milestones, and are definitely healthy!

I love the closeness that breastfeeding allows us and I love that he’s getting the best nutrition I could ever give him too. I love that my milk is custom-fit to his needs according to time of day, his age, and what bugs he may be fighting off. Breast milk is amazingly adaptable like that! It’s the miracle of God’s perfect design for moms and babies.

Because I have chosen to breastfeed and to breastfeed exclusively “from the tap” which I believe is giving Henry the best possible option; I also have to deal with what comes along with it. I can never be away from Henry for very long. Not that I ever really want to, but the occasional break would be nice! I do love being near him almost all of the time, but sometimes I have hard days when I’m feeling a little like I’m falling apart! And there are times when I am the only one who can soothe him. I have to be continually available for him. Not always easy!

Cons:

I can’t “get away” for a weekend, an overnight trip, or even a long date without Henry tagging along. It’s a good thing I like him!
I never know exactly how much he is getting. This is generally not necessary anyway, but it would be nice to know sometimes!
I have to make sure my clothes are nursing-friendly whenever I’m out and about. Well- I guess it’s not completely necessary, but I find it very helpful!
I’m the only one that can feed Henry.

Pros:

I’m the only one that can feed Henry!
It’s always ready. It’s always warm. It’s always the right amount (even if he disagrees…).
Breastmilk is not only the optimal nutrition for a baby, it’s free!
No washing bottles. (Like we need more dishes to clean!) No mixing/making formula or anything else for that matter. No need to refrigerate, warm, test for temperature… etc! No worries about it spoiling either.
It’s custom made for him from month to month, day to day, and even hour to hour. It contains antibodies to whatever illnesses he is most likely to be exposed to through his family. It is a living food with enzymes and is the most easily digestible for him. The nutrients in breast milk are the most accessible and easily absorbable for him as well! The milk he gets in the morning is different from the milk he gets at night. It also changes in composition as his nutritional needs change. It’s truly amazing stuff!
There’s nothing better for soothing an upset baby/toddler than nursing. It’s instant calm just when we need it sometimes!
I don’t think there is anything quite as comforting to a baby as nursing. Close contact with mama (often skin-to-skin!), fulfilling the need to suck, getting a full belly… Good stuff! Breastfeeding has a calming affect on mom too! Did you know that? It’s good for both of us!
It’s a really easy way to soothe a baby to sleep. It doesn’t work every time (at least not for me with this particular baby), but when it does work? It’s amazing!
No getting out of bed at night! I don’t have to get bottles for him at night. And he sleeps right by my side so when he stirs at night all I have to do is latch him on. This is the best way for our family to get as much rest as possible. Some nights are (of course) more challenging than others and sometimes he does demand more soothing than just nursing which requires getting out of bed to bounce, rock, burp, change, or otherwise sooth him. That’s just life with a baby in general! However, on a normal night when his needs just include nursing and sleeping, not ever having to get out of bed is pretty awesome! Thankfully that is the more frequent course of events! There have even been a few nights when Steven and/or I have felt like we slept through the night despite there being one or more nighttime feedings. We have at times been able to essentially sleep through it all!

It may take a lot of sacrifice to make exclusive breastfeeding and eventually extended breastfeeding work long term; but if I’m able to do it for the health and general well-being of my kids, it’s 100% worth it. I think the pros by far outweigh the cons.

I don’t know that nursing can ever go absolutely perfectly for anyone. We live in an imperfect world, after all! I struggled a lot nursing Emily and Will. But for the most part, it has gone very well with Henry. I am so grateful that I am able to nurse him (so far anyway!) and hope it will continue indefinitely. I am in it for the long haul as usual and I am hopeful that he will be my little nursing buddy for a very long time to come!

So exciting!

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I was interviewed for a blog post last week and it was published yesterday. I’m thrilled to have been included in this project!

My interview on The Voice of a Homebirth Mother.

And thanks to Helene at The Normalizing Homebirth Project Inc for featuring this wonderful blog series!

A More Detailed Summation of Henry’s Birth

2011-01-28T11:28:00.001-05:00

Henry’s birth was my favorite thus far and I don’t think birth could get much better. I’d shout his story from the mountaintops if I could. I passionately want more women to realize they can give birth like this!

I already wrote a more private birth story, but finally feel ready to share a public version…

I knew the moment labor began. But it was dramatically different from my other labors. This labor was slow-moving and “ploddy.” Without going into much detail I will say that I was more “post-dates” than I had been before. So I felt very ready for Henry to release that labor-triggering-hormone. I’d been praying that he would on a daily basis for quite some time.

I woke up early Saturday morning with the distinct knowledge that I was in labor. There was no doubt in my mind. This was it. I was so excited! I had practiced Hypnobabies quite a lot through late pregnancy so I felt very prepared to enjoy a blissful natural birth!

I enjoyed the wash of natural hormones guiding us through early labor. We treated the day just as a normal Saturday. We played with our kids just as normal. We did stuff around the house and watched a movie with the kids. And since I had been awake for a significant amount of time by now and had become tired, I was even able to take an hour-long nap in which my baby seemed to know I needed a tiny break and gave it to me. What a blessing!

Then I was back up and at it as if nothing had happened! Steven and I went on a couple of long walks through our hilly neighborhood during the kids’ afternoon naptimes. I went up and down the stairs, walked around the house, and stayed quite active. I was surprised that baby was not here yet as my previous labors had never taken more than about 6 hours. So this was unprecedented. I was in uncharted territory and slightly confused, but taking it all in stride!

By Saturday evening I had it in my head that I was in for the very-extremely-long-haul and still tried to handle life as normally as possible. I was picturing days of laboring like this! Time was starting to become very distorted. I used the Hypnobabies scripts in my head during birth waves, but in-between I felt perfectly normal and blissfully happy! I had my dear family surrounding me, I was beautifully supported, my baby had triggered labor all on his own, and I was remaining very active and mostly up-right through labor which was no-doubt helping tremendously! I was still very excited to be in labor and anxious to meet my precious little one!

We went out to eat and I indulged in a sinfully delicious milkshake for dessert. I had been off sugar for so long, but felt that I deserved a labor treat! I’m not sure I’ve ever had a milkshake that tasted so good!

Our dinner outing was at about 17 hours into labor. By the time we finished dinner I had the strong feeling that I needed to be back home. I needed to be on my turf again and alone to work through the rest of my labor.

At home Steven got the kids into bed and the house got quiet yet again. Labor really started kicking in as our home was peaceful, calm, and dimly-lit. Steven and I settled in to watch a movie, but by this point I wasn’t able to concentrate on much else than what my body was doing. I leaned on the birthing ball and swayed. I walked up the stairs, and down the stairs and up the stairs again. I got into the bath and then out of the bath and then down the stairs and up again! I moved into any position that seemed to ease the labor surges and seemed to help my baby to move as needed. I was squatting, on hands-and-knees, lying on my side, swaying, dancing- you name it!

It was past midnight and I had become completely exhausted. The movie was over and an understandably-exhausted Steven was already in bed asleep. I had been at it for 24+ hours now. I didn’t feel that birth was imminent, nor did I feel I could labor much longer with no sleep. I laid down on the couch thinking that surely baby would give me another break to sleep because I really needed some rest! I was wrong. Lying down was the absolute worst position EVER. That was the most excruciating pain I had experienced the whole time thus far. Though I desperately just wanted to lie down and sleep, my body (and my baby!) gave a resounding, “NO!” to that idea. I knew I had to keep working with baby and let nature take it’s (unpredictable) course. Apparently being up-right was my only remaining choice!

The exhaustion was really getting to me and I was really wondering why I had wished for labor to ever begin. Staying pregnant forever and sleeping was all I wanted at this point, but without that option I labored on into the night.

I refilled the tub with hot water and sunk into it and it felt amazing and relieved a lot of the pressure. I went completely into my own little world doing my own thing, oblivious to all else. I fell into an amazingly deep and peaceful sleep over and over for the few minutes I had between waves. My baby and I were totally in-tune and working together now. I could feel him kicking and squirming and helping labor along the best he could! I changed positions constantly and started “singing” with my waves of pressure bringing my baby closer and closer. Steven eventually woke to my birth sounds and he seemed to know even better than I did how close we were. He recognized those sounds and my movements. He suggested calling our midwife. I didn’t seem to think she was needed yet and I just wanted to be alone. He wanted to call though so I told him to go ahead.

He told me he thought the baby would be here very soon. I didn’t believe him.

I continued to be up and down, squatting, hands and knees, arching my back, and vocalizing through the increasingly intense waves of pressure. I started begging for it to stop. I started saying I couldn’t do it anymore. I should have known what that meant! I felt almost as if I was climbing the walls. Everything was dream-like and time was non-existent. I didn’t know whether a minute was an hour or an hour was a minute. The overwhelming natural birthing hormones were keeping me in the perfect state of labor-land, completely in-tune with what my body and my baby needed me to do to facilitate the safest and gentlest possible delivery.

Steven told me I was doing great and that everything was going perfectly. He told me he knew I could do it and that everything I was doing was exactly right. He was the calming presence who continued to trust the natural birth process just when my faith was starting to waver. That’s just what I needed. If he believed I could do this, I knew I could!

Within minutes after Steven made that call for the midwife I felt Henry move down and my body started pushing him out before I could barely take a breath. I assumed the most intuitive position for birth without even thinking and delivered him into the water in a kneeling/squatting position. (It was a little of both!)

As soon as I realized he was finally born and right there in front of me, I scooped up this perfect little baby out of the water and held him tight and close as he took his first breath and started making the sweetest little newborn baby sounds and trying to open his eyes. I took a peak to see his gender and told his daddy (who could see just as plainly as I could, but I announced anyway), “It’s a boy!” Time stood completely still for those next moments. The release of birth was incredibly strong and empowering. We had done it. I had done it. Natural unhindered birth is such a miraculous and indescribable experience and I love it!

I basked in the afterglow of birth and fully took in my baby as we bonded instantly. He was resting on my chest and I was smelling him, feeling his skin against mine, kissing him, telling him how much we loved him. It was as if I was inhaling him and soaking him in all at once.

Finally I felt it was time to get out of the bath and deliver the placenta. I stood up and delivered it myself and put it in our placenta bowl. (Yes, we have a placenta bowl- are you really surprised!?) I sat next to the bowl on a pile of cushy birth towels (yes we have birth towels too!) and settled in to nurse Henry and wait on the midwife’s arrival.

She arrived very soon after we got out of the bath and took a look around the bathroom. Baby born? Check. Bath emptied? Check. Placenta delivered? Check. Baby nursing? Check. She said, “My aren’t you efficient!?” And we all laughed!

The rest of that night and the next day, I was high on the overwhelming love hormones that follow unhindered birth. I felt fantastic from the moment he was born. I was utterly in love with my baby. I was so proud that we had the perfectly imperfect labor and delivery that we needed. And a VBAC too! There were a few curve-balls and surprises, but it was all just as it should be in the end!

I gave birth…

Peacefully, naturally, and gently, in the healthiest way for the both of us.
When my baby was ready- on his own little schedule. He didn’t have a calendar in there with him!
Without any technology, wires, machines, monitors, IVs, medications, doctors or nurses.
Without anything or anyone invading my space that I didn’t need or want.
Without any doctors visits (or even any office visits) throughout my entire pregnancy. Even all my prenatal visits were in our home!
Without any tests that I didn’t need or want.
Without any weight checks.
Actively and on my own terms.
Without a single vaginal exam throughout my entire pregnancy and labor. I was the very first person to even touch my baby. That was very important to me!
Without any coaching or direction whatsoever.
Without even a drop of Pitocin before or after delivery. (I didn’t need it at all!)
Without anyone telling me when or how to push!!
With an abundance of uninhibited natural love hormones and intuition working together just as they were designed, facilitating the safest birth and the best bonding.
And best of all? Without any tearing! All 9lbs 8oz and 23 inches of him. Oh the beauty of a natural water birth in an upright position!

A Year In Review

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1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?
I had a VBAC. And an unassisted VBAC at that. Steven and I caught our own baby. Most definitely the highlight of my year.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Most of my resolutions had to do with being healthy for a (hopeful) healthy new baby and a home VBAC. I’d say that turned out very well, thank the Lord!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
The ladies in my trio all had babies and so did my sister, among others! This year was THE year of babies!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, thank God. A friend’s husband died unexpectedly and that shook us pretty badly. I still think about it every day. Please pray for Cortney and her son Xav.

5. What countries did you visit?
Haha. Next question…

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
More self-discipline, more generosity, and servanthood.

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
June 25 – the date my parents were in a terrible car accident, but lived to tell the tale, praise God! It was also their 44th wedding anniversary. November 7th, the day Henry Isaac was born!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Giving birth to Henry. Homeschooling Emily. Helping Claire learn to read! Being a mother to my 5 amazing little blessings who I love more than words can describe!

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not loving my children, husband, or my Savior enough. Losing my patience on multiple occasions. Being selfish.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Not really! I dropped a waffle iron on my left big toe…. that was about it. And that’s rather minor, if you ask me!

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I don’t know! Maybe school curriculum. Maybe a gift for someone…

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Steven’s. Always Steven’s. I married the most incredible man!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I can’t think of anyone in particular and that’s a wonderful thing!

14. Where did most of your money go?
Probably the normal things- food for my family, a roof over our heads.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Our pregnancy and new baby, of course. The new ICAN of Chattanooga chapter and helping to lead such an awesome cause.

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?
Viva La Vida by Coldplay

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier.
b) thinner or fatter? About the same.
c) richer or poorer? About the same.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Reading to my children.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Wasting time.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
With my sweet family!

21. Did you fall in love in 2010?
Every single year I fall more in love with Steven. This year I was also blessed to fall completely head-over-heals in love with a beautiful baby boy named Henry.

22. What concerts did you attend this year?
Mostly concerts that I performed in. That’s just the way things usually go for me.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
LOST, SYTYCD, The Office, and Glee. <3

24. Do you dislike anyone now whom you didn't dislike this time last year?
Not really? There may be some I like less than I used to, but that’s the normal ebb and flow of relationships I suppose.

25. What was the best book you read?
I honestly didn’t read a lot and most books I read were pregnancy and birth related…

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Am I horribly behind the times in that I just discovered Coldplay!??? Every song I hear by Coldplay I think, “Oh wow! I really love that!” Then I realize that it’s yet another one by Coldplay and I think yet again, “Huh! I must really like them!”

27. What did you want and get?
An incredibly beautiful home VBAC. I hoped and dreamed for Henry’s birth to be safe, healthy, unhindered, calm, peaceful, empowering, and beautiful. It was all that and more than I dreamed. The only reason I am so passionate about ICAN and helping other women is so that more women can have the kind of natural births that I have been so blessed to have. I can’t imagine missing out on it…

28. What did you want and not get?
I dunno. A futon!? LOL! (Not much!)

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
Toy Story 3 and/or Ramona and Beezus. I think those were the only two new movies I saw and both were great!

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 29. I saw Mary Poppins at the fabulous Fox Theater with my mother-in-law and my daughters and it was SO good! We also had dinner as a family at Café Intermezzo which was really delicious! It was a good birthday!

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I had a pretty amazing year, but it made me really sad to see loved ones suffer through some really hard times. I would have liked it if none of the people I love the most had such a hard year…

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Maternity? lol!

33. What kept you sane?
Steven. Forever and always… Steven.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Mayim Bialik

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
So many things. Lots of birth-related issues as always as well as food-related issues. FREEDOM, I cry… FREEEEDOM!!!

36. Who did you miss?
My friends and family who live far away. As always.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
I can’t recall necessarily meeting a lot of new people this year, but I got to know some newer friends even better and they’ve become some of my best friends. I can’t imagine life with out Rachel J., Michelle R., and Christina H. just to name 3 of many!!!

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.
Steven is always more experienced and capable than I think or expect. Why do I doubt!? God gave me a good man!

December Photo Project: Days 29, 30, and 31

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December Photo Project: Days 24, 25, 26, 27, and 28

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December Photo Project: Days 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, and 23!

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You might say I got a little behind…

December Photo Project: Day 15

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December Photo Project: Day 14

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December Photo Project: Day 13

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December Photo Project: Day 12

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December Photo Project: Day 11

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December Photo Project: Day 10

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Newborns

2010-12-10T12:41:00.001-05:00

Henry- 4 weeks old!

I think I enjoy every baby ever so slightly more than the last. Is that horrible to say? Maybe it’s just that my memory fails me every time, but as I nurse, change diapers, cuddle, and soothe Henry; I find myself thinking that he’s my sweetest baby ever and that I wish he could stay this small forever.

Maybe it’s that with each baby I (We!) gain a bit more confidence and experience; and that every time gets a little smoother and easier. Maybe each of my babies has actually been slightly “easier” than the last! I’m not sure, but I am sure that I really love and enjoy each of my babies! And they get big way way way too quickly.

There are of course little tricks that make the newborn phase much easier for us that are now our go-to standards. (Note: These ‘tricks’ are not anything new that I figured out on my own! I’m fairly certain I learned them in a book, but I can’t recall now what it was!)

Swaddling. Swaddling has been fantastic for all our babies. Especially at first. We have two blankets that are made specifically for swaddling and we love those, but we also just use regular blankets too. You don’t necessarily need a swaddling specific-blanket! (Though it is a nice little luxury.)
Nursing/Suckling. With Claire, Will, and Ephraim I very carefully avoided using a pacifier at first to avoid any potential problems with breastfeeding. So for them, this part was fulfilled purely with nursing. Henry has seemed to have a much stronger need for almost-continual-suckling for comfort so he has used a pacifier in addition to plentiful nursing. Especially since Mommy has been overly-taxed with gigs this season, the pacifier has been somewhat necessary when I’m not quite as readily available as with our other babies. But at home we can survive most of the time without it.
White Noise. Steven and I both have white noise Apps on our iPhones- just for Henry! And we use one of our phones almost every night for this purpose.
Co-sleeping. Especially with our new set-up this time! More on that later.

The combination of these things is almost always pure gold in soothing our newborns. We make sure he has a sufficiently full belly, a clean diaper, and comfortable clothes; swaddle him; turn on the white noise; and then either nurse him to sleep or let him have his pacifier. This is how Henry goes to sleep every night and he typically sleeps 2-4 hours when we use these “tricks.” When he wakes me to nurse again, I leave him swaddled, feed him, and he usually goes right back to sleep for another 2-4 hours. He usually has one good 4 hour stretch at night and then a couple little 2 or 3 hour stretches the rest of the time. If he is fitful or fussy after a feeding, then we burp and change him in addition to the usual and that does the trick. He doesn’t need that more than once a night typically.

Of course, as we hit growth spurts and other normal developmental changes, I’m sure that it won’t be quite this easy. But for the majority of the time, this works!

The set-up in our room for baby Henry (Except we do not keep the Moses Basket in his bed.)

I can’t say enough about how much we love our new set-up with his crib! It has worked out soooo much better than the co-sleeper did. I barely have to move Henry to nurse him in the middle of the night so we are both much less disturbed during feedings and I barely even have to wake up! I just wake up enough to latch and then doze the rest of the time until he is done. Then we both are back to sleep in no time at all. It has been wonderful! I have a soft blanket placed right next to me that he sleeps on and he’s actually sleeping just about right where the crib meets the mattress. But since they are tightly flush together and covered with his baby blankets, it’s completely flat and safe! I do have to say that this aspect has been significantly easier with Henry than with any of the others! The side-car-crib is our best set-up for a newborn so far!

Anything that helps a new baby and a (not-so-new!) mama sleep easier, longer, and more peacefully is well-worth it to me! This doesn’t mean that I’m not still a little sleep deprived- that is unavoidable with a new baby. But I’m certain that having a bit more rest is a big part of Henry and I enjoying our days together so much!

December Photo Project: Day 9

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December Photo Project: Day 8

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December Photo Project: Day 7

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December Photo Project: Day 6

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December Photo Project: Day 5

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December Photo Project: Day 4

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December Photo Project: Day 3

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December Photo Project: Day 2

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December Photo Project: Day 1

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Join Me!

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I’m gonna give this a try this year. It should be easy since I’ve been doing Project 365 anyway, right? This just means posting my 365 pictures to my blog every day in December. I think I can do that! Should be fun.

Henry’s Name

2010-11-16T14:45:00.001-05:00

Henry’s name was a bit of a surprise to us. Just like his gender! Prior to his birth we had discussed names until we were sick of names. We ended up just having a long list of boy names and a long list of girl names and deciding to wait until we met our baby to name him. I had wanted to pick one boy’s name and one girl’s name and have it ready so we’d know his name right away; but no name that we picked ever felt right. I never felt at peace with any final selection. The planner in me was not happy!

But we did have our names somewhat sorted by most favorite to least favorite so I pretty much expected that we’d end up choosing the names from the top of our list. Henry was not that name! But when he was born, Steven and I both thought independently of each other that he looked like a Henry! And once we talked about it and realized we had the same thought, it was settled. Then I came up with the middle name (also from the list) which I thought was a new combination of first and middle for us and it definitely felt like the right name finally! Steven says we’d talked about Henry Isaac at some point before. (I do not remember that at all!)

Anyway, I was glad we ended up not picking a name before he was born because it most likely would not have suited him the way Henry does!

Post-Birth Thoughts

2010-11-16T10:22:00.002-05:00

For those of you who don’t know, our little Henry was born ever-so-slightly before our midwife arrived on the scene. It was really incredibly special and empowering catching my own son with no one but his father as a witness. It wasn’t scary at all as some seem to think. We knew instinctively exactly what to do. I knew throughout labor that the baby was doing great and that everything was going well. If I had questioned this, I would have called my midwife sooner than we did. I felt more confidant and comfortable laboring alone without any extra observers and by the time we decided it was time for my midwife to come over, Henry was within minutes of being born- much to my surprise!
I’m very glad I didn’t share my due date and very glad my midwife trusted me to know my dates better than she could ever know. She depended on me to give her that info rather than dictating it for me. I’m also glad that Henry came in his own good time and not on anyone else’s schedule! He definitely knew even better than I did when he should come and came when he was ready to be born! His birth was drastically different from any of my others and while in some ways it was harder, in other ways this was my easiest birth yet! And it was definitely a very healing and satisfying birth coming after Ephraim. I’m very grateful for a wonderfully healthy baby and a relatively smooth labor and birth!

It’s a Boy! Introducing Henry Isaac…

2010-11-07T14:22:00.002-05:00

9lbs 8oz
22 and 3/4 inches long
Born at home about 2am on November 7, 2010

It's November!

2010-11-02T19:41:00.000-04:00

It's finally November! I can officially say that we'll be meeting our new baby this month! That's pretty cool!

As of last weekend I finished up most of my outside pre-baby commitments. It's nice to have that out of the way. And tomorrow some friends are throwing a small baby shower for me- I can't wait!

I think we've finished almost all of our "to do before baby" items. Just a few little cleaning bits here and there are left.

I'm glad that it's finally at least the right month! :-D

What else- another prenatal!

2010-10-27T22:11:00.001-04:00

My midwife came over again tonight. We had a good time as usual. Who else can say that their prenatals are that fun!? BP was 90/68, everything else is good. Babe is still in a great position and I’ve been working hard at keeping him/her that way by practicing smart posture from spinningbabies.com. I’m still measuring right on track which I attribute to having greatly limited sugar/carbs this pregnancy in comparison with previous pregnancies (in which I measured on the larger side). We discussed more labor and birth details than usual since the birth month (November) is sneaking up on us here pretty soon. Like… how long do we want to delay cutting the cord? Indefinitely. I’ll be in no rush. (With Will I think it was around a hour before we got around to cutting it.) We talked about a few birth expectations-type things. Always good to clear all that up plenty ahead of time! She’s great with all of our requests/desires as they are mostly pretty typical of what she already does anyway so that works out well. I like that our expectations for the birth are not anything out-of-the-norm for her standard practices!

I had a chiropractic appointment yesterday to address some achiness and get adjusted/lined up properly. That was very helpful! We’d been trying to avoid that added expense this time around, but I got to the point where I felt I needed it too much to skip out on it anymore. Ends up I was all out-of-alignment which explains a lot! I’m glad to have done it now! And the chiropractor I saw had three homebirths herself which was very nice to hear about.

Other than that, we’re just staying very busy and getting excited that November is finally approaching! Some very sweet friends requested to throw me a baby shower next week! Can you believe it? I’m so very touched! I’ve not had a baby shower at all since before Emily was born and at times that has been a little sad for me as I’ve seen other moms pregnant at the same time as me having their 2nd/3rd/4th/5th/6th babies have baby showers. I felt a little bit forgotten… it’s so nice to not feel that way this time!

Prenatal Appointment

2010-10-20T10:54:00.001-04:00

Pretty much all the same as last time. BP is great, I’m measuring exactly right, baby’s heart sounds great… nothing else to report! My midwife predicted a current baby weight (which I’m not sharing here ;), but we still have plenty of time to grow more. She’s usually extremely accurate (much more accurate than ultrasound) though so it’s kind of fun to know her estimate even if it will likely change before the baby is born. Also according to her, our baby has a large rear end. lol The baby likes to lie on my right side with his/her rump shoved up into my ribs. Other than when there is a large backside up in my ribs though, I feel remarkably good. I’m sleeping through the night and the heartburn is still gone. I have some general achiness which is extremely normal and I think I’d be worried if I didn’t have that! So all is well.

I’m getting more anxious to have stuff ready for the baby and right now we are no where near. I like to have everything just so before we have a baby. Perfection is difficult to achieve and takes lots of time, but it just makes me feel so much better. ;) Steven’s been patching up some little holes in our walls from door knobs and broken door stops etc. Now they just need sanding/painting. We’ve organized a closet or two and still have the garage and laundry room to work on. I also want the house completely deep cleaned here in the next few weeks including the front and back porches. Is it ridiculous that I find myself day dreaming about steam-mopping all the floors?? Ha! Probably, but also sad that I haven’t found the energy to actually get up and do it yet. :P Eventually it will get done! I keep reminding myself that there’s no rush because it’ll just need it again in about 5 minutes… or I could just make the kids eat outside from now on. Not a bad idea!

Soon I want to side-car the crib which is something new we’re trying this time just to see if it’s better than the co-sleeper. It looks interesting to me. The sides of the co-sleeper are low which has been a problem for us once our babies get more mobile. This looks sturdier and safer overall. I’m hopeful we’ll like it.

We also need to get all the birth supplies organized and together in one easily-accessible place. Right now they are sort of scattered about around the house as we got things at different times and also need to get some of our unused supplies from Will’s birth back out and ready.

I constantly have these to-do lists running through my head! It’s driving me crazy… The problem is that if we get everything ready ahead of time, it’ll just need doing again soon. If only life were more predictable!

Other than continually thinking up lists (Which I believe is actually a sickness handed down to me by my mother. Thank you, Mom!) I’ve really enjoyed perusing some pregnancy and birth books that I found at McKay. (Our local used book store where you can get awesome books for CHEAP.) I’ve almost finished reading the Hypnobabies home study course, but I’ve continued reviewing it. I’ve also been flipping through Great Expectations: Your All-In-One Resource for Pregnancy and Childbirth, and The Complete Book of Pregnancy & Childbirth, and Having a Baby Naturally. All are excellent and I highly recommend them! Very accurate and much more thorough than any other resources I’ve found. Especially Great Expectations! I’m very impressed. I don’t agree with every little thing (do I ever?), but for the most part, it’s all very good, up-to-date, and solidly evidence-based. Much better, more accurate, and more comprehensive than any other general pregnancy books I’ve read. I got them to loan out- possibly to ICAN- but now I’m not sure I want to let them go!

Weekend Posty-ness

2010-10-17T21:27:00.002-04:00

I’m so good about posting when people are least likely to read. Go me!
So far, each of my babies has been able to come in their own good time- for the most part. I’m not sure Ephraim counts, but maybe he does. I don’t know! He certainly came when he needed to and was as ready as possible under the circumstances. And the rest of them got to pick their own birth dates for which I am very grateful. That’s something I wanted for them.
I’m hoping this baby will be no different. I want to let him or her come when good and ready! That means it could be around when I’m “due,” a week or two before that (oh so unlikely… I’m not that lucky), or 2+ weeks after that (I really hope not…)! This is one area of life for me that I have no control over and sometimes it gets unnerving not having any idea when this big event will take place! I’ve talked to other moms who’ve had as many (or more) kids than I have and have learned that it’s completely possible to go early with one baby and then late with the next. So really- who knows!!
It’s also very exciting though- Labor starting on its own is always such a rush! And there is so much to anticipate in the meantime- not knowing when it’ll happen; not knowing if we have a baby girl or a baby boy; and we don’t have names picked either. There are a lot of unknowns this time!
But that’s all part of why I’m afraid of being pinned to a due date this time. I don’t want the pressure if/when the date comes and goes. If I happen to go way over, I don’t want the pressure and the misplaced concern for our well-being. Did you know that technically you aren’t even “overdue” until after 42 weeks!? 37-42 weeks is considered “term” and a normal time for delivery! Yet I do know women who’ve had perfectly healthy pregnancies and had their babies trigger natural labor a little before 37 weeks or after 42 weeks, so there is also even a little more variation possible there! It is true, though that most women have their babies sometime between 37 and 42 weeks. And this is assuming the approximate due date is fairly accurate which is also sadly rare.
I’m at the point when people are constantly asking “What’s your due date?” “How many weeks are you?” “How many weeks left?” etc. I haven’t figured out the best answers yet except that I can at least shrug it off and say, “Oh- I’m approximately 10 months pregnant.” and hope that gets them off-track. :P I feel enormous and I’m pretty sure I look it too if the comments I get are any indication. At symphony this past week I got, “she’s about to pop,” and “If the Tchaikovsky can’t shake that baby out, nothing can!” Oh- and a friend’s grandma in the audience said during intermission, “You’ve got a pregnant lady up there! Hope she can make it through the rest of the concert!” These comments mostly just make me laugh a lot. :) If only Tchaikovsky could shake babies out!
But I know that I’m normal and healthy for this stage and my baby is normal and healthy too so I try not to let it get to me. At least I can joke about being 10 months pregnant! I wish I could keep from getting any larger, but I’m afraid that’s inevitable (as unimaginable as it is!). I just kind of dread seeing the same people that already said that I’m “about to pop.” If I’m about to pop now then what about in two weeks when I see them again…. Yikes! This is when an invisibility cloak could come in handy! (Harry Potter and Frodo are so lucky.)
My favorite response for “How many weeks left?” is “I don’t know.” Because it’s the truth. I don’t know.

One More Thing: "Failed Homebirths"

2010-10-16T14:40:00.003-04:00

In homebirth circles I hear the term "failed homebirths" occasionally. Steven commented recently that he hates that term. It's offensive and inaccurate. I agree.

I understand that it means that a mom didn't end up giving birth at home as planned, but still... could this be anymore negatively portrayed with the word "failed" tacked to it!?

I feel there is no such thing as a failed homebirth. If a mom or a midwife feels that the best option is to transfer for some needed medical care for the mom or the baby, how is that a failure? It may be unpredictable, but all of life is unpredictable. That doesn't mean we called it "failed" when it doesn't go according to plan!

Using our best judgment we may need to make these difficult decisions. The failure would be to not recognize something important that would merit a transfer.

If a family plans a homebirth and ends up needing to transfer for a medical need that pops up unexpectedly, I cannot call that failure. They are doing what needs to be done to keep mom and baby healthy! Every homebirth that results in a healthy mom and baby despite whether it ends at home or in the hospital is a success!

Homebirthin' Thoughts

2010-10-16T14:39:00.002-04:00

I'm getting more and more excited about having this baby in the next few weeks/month. :) So I'm reading lots of positive birth stories and articles and childbirth methods etc. It's very reassuring and encouraging!

I wish more people could understand the facts about homebirth and why it should be a respected option for families to choose. I especially wish doctors could understand and respect homebirthing moms. This would do so much for increasing the safety of homebirth whereas most doctors cite safety concerns about homebirth and then proceed to make themselves unavailable to homebirthing families on the basis of fear of litigation. And sadly, most of them don't even have any valid reasons for their "safety concerns" aside from their own misconceptions, ignorance, biased backgrounds, and limited experience with natural unhindered birth.

If you want a very good idea about how extreme doctors can be about homebirth, listen to this direct quote from an OB when one of his patients inquired about homebirth, “Everyday, we have dead babies and dead moms pull in the parking lot because of failed home births!”

Really!? EVERY DAY!? And how do these dead mamas and babies drive? And isn't it a little too late for the hospital if they are dead? Yeah. That's believable...

Most studies on homebirth show very positive outcomes and a drastically reduced intervention rate. A typical midwife in our area has a 5% transfer rate, a 3% c-section rate, and a 0% episiotomy rate. And moms report more satisfaction and happiness after birthing their babies naturally at home. Not to mention that more homebirth mamas and babies go on to breastfeed successfully and have less illness in general because of breastfeeding and avoiding hospital germs etc.

The midwives here with the most experience (30+ years each for 2 of them) report having lost only one baby and no mothers between them, and it was a case in which the baby likely would have been lost in the hospital as well. (I'll talk about catastrophic rupture later in this post to explain...) That's in 30+ years of a very busy and successful practice. So the whole "Everyday we have dead babies and dead moms..." is a bit of a stretch.

I felt much more respected, honored, special, and empowered when and after giving birth at home. In the hospital I felt loss of all power and respect and a huge loss of dignity. When they strip you of your clothes, your choices, your power to move around... then they want you to be spread-eagle with your feet up in stirrups with at least 3-5 onlookers gawking at your most intimate parts on display as if at a museum? Then they barely even acknowledge the presence of the mom except to yell and count "PUUUUUUUSH" Yeah- I didn't feel very respected, powerful, honored, or safe in that situation.

At home I was surrounded by people who were just quiet and encouraged me to follow my body's lead. I was allowed to wear whatever I wanted, move about freely, eat and drink as I needed, have all the privacy I wanted and needed, listen to whatever music I wanted etc. Everyone treated me respectfully, kindly, quietly, gently, calmly, and with dignity. Decisions were left up to me. It was a huge departure from either of my hospital births and even from my birth center birth. (And don't get me wrong, my birth center experience was still a huge improvement over the hospital.)

I read a magazine article recently about homebirth and this paragraph struck me...

"In terms of mortality and injury, we know that driving a car is hundreds of times more dangerous for women and children than giving birth. That objective, quantifiable fact does not keep most of us from driving. Though it's proven to be extremely dangerous and can often be fatal, no one accuses a pregnant woman who drives a car every day of being 'selfish.' And when she arrives at a destination without having a crash, no one tells her how 'lucky' she was."

That puts it into perspective a bit!

Also, people seem nervous that not only am I planning on homebirthing, but I'm planning a home VBAC. Oh noes! My uterus will explode!!!! Okay, well first of all- the risk of uterine rupture in a vbac mom is extremely small, and yes- that's what the medical professionals make the big fuss about. It's less than one half of one percent. How's that for rare!? Not only that, but that risk is significantly increased by use of pitocin and/or requiring mom to be tethered to a bed laboring ineffectively on her back. The doctors around here require at the very least that you have an IV and be hooked to continual electronic fetal monitoring for VBACs and even the best Ob's we have here frequently require pitocin for VBAC moms because they are nervous about getting labor going and not going "overdue." It's really unfounded fear and only serves to further jeopardize healthy moms and babies!

And here is what most people do not know about uterine rupture. First of all, in the vast majority of cases, a rupture is slow and easily detectable. Especially if mom is laboring completely naturally! (Which is much more likely to happen outside of a hospital.) Midwives are particularly good at detecting ruptures because they know what to look for and make sure to check regularly during labor. During a typical rupture, there is time to calmly transfer to a hospital for the necessary surgery.

Here is the sad and scary part about rupture. In a tiny tiny percentage of ruptures, there is what is called a "catastrophic" rupture. In this case, it is sudden and extreme and cannot be predicted and usually only the mother can be saved. This is typically the outcome whether you are in a hospital or at home!! I have a friend who lost her baby in the hospital due to a catastrophic rupture. Life itself is 100% fatal and no one is guaranteed a happy ending. That's just LIFE. Going to the hospital does not guarantee you a healthy mom and healthy baby anymore than staying home does. It just so happens that I feel my chances of a healthier mom and baby are better at home for a plethora of very good reasons. Not the least of which is BECAUSE I'm a VBAC mama!!!

Doctors plain out lie about VBAC and homebirth. I had a doctor tell me how dangerous it is because of uterine rupture and he tried lots of scare tactics to convince me not to homebirth after my c-section. I didn't argue. However, this same doctor happens to know and respect an area midwife here and in a separate private conversation with her he asked her if she does home VBACs. She said she does and he expressed his disapproval. Then she mentioned how she has found that most ruptures are slow and detectable and she knows when to transfer and she also mentioned that catastrophic ruptures are both incredibly rare and often results in losing a baby regardless of location. He actually didn't argue with her and acknowledged that she had a point. Wonders never cease...

Anyway, I definitely feel safer birthing at home than at a hospital, not only because of the lack of evidence-based practices in the hospital that I feel would hinder my ability to labor and birth in the safest way for me; but also because I have a very different birth philosophy than any attendants in the hospital would have. I feel the very act of walking into the doors of a hospital would interrupt the delicate hormonal processes involved in labor. Walking into the doors would be the first intervention and interference for me. That would increase my stress and decrease my oxytocin right at the get-go.

And I'm not even getting into the hospital protocol and policies that would then be forced upon me. Just having strangers/nurses around is enough to alter a woman's labor pattern and potentially set up problematic laboring for the remainder of her birth. I feel that I need to be surrounded by the people that are who I trust most intimately and who will believe in me and support me in the way I need. No one in the hospital is that person for me.

From the same article that I quoted before are some fantastic quotes that perfectly express my philosophy about birthing...

"There's this really wide range of 'normal'! But the narrow definition of 'normal' that our current society has doesn't allow for the wisdoms of the mother's body and the baby, which can work together and resolve complications without conscious thought."

"I do not want to pass off the responsibility of having my baby to anyone else."

"Often, our ideas about what is and is not safe are based more on our prejudices and preconceived notions than on any objective facts about childbirth. For instance, although several major scientific studies have shown that homebirths have as good or better outcomes than hospital births, the mainstream medical establishment cites 'safety' concerns in their arguments against homebirth."

"Birth isn't inherently dangerous. It's our modern-day conceptions that are dangerous, not being in labor and having a baby. Every other natural bodily function generally works beautifully unassisted: digestion, elimination, respiration, conception. So many of the problems associated with birth are actually caused by interference."

"What's missing in our culture is that there is pain with a purpose, and that 'helping' is sometimes interfering."

"We let our bodies do what they are naturally programmed to do. Our body is made to do this. We don't need medical help getting the baby inside; we conceive without assistance. Birth is not a medical event. Interfering with the process is what makes it risky."

Busy Busy

2010-10-12T17:43:00.002-04:00

So far this is (and will continue to be) one of the busiest weeks this year so far. Steven and I are both playing different gigs tomorrow and our rehearsal times are all staggered and weird and it's just a little crazy! I have symphony all this week as well, plus trio this weekend. Next week brings yet more gigs (both trio and other free-lance stuff) and it ends up that I'll be working through to the very end of October after all. The gigs just keep popping up. Can't seem to turn them down! Got two more additional scheduled as of today.

It's weird how it seems like everything gets the busiest towards the end of every pregnancy. I can recall performing and playing lots of gigs in every pregnancy thus far during those last weeks. I've yet to have a baby during "off" season (May through August) for gigs. Why is that!? I must be nuts. Emily was the closest as our last concerts of the year are always just about the beginning of May and that was when she was born. Considering how awesomely social I am during the third trimester (not), I really don't know how I've managed it 4 times already and am going through a 5th.

As usual my pregnancy sensitivity is in overdrive about now. I'm a private person in general and prefer to keep a lot to myself, but it's magnified (isn't everything magnified) during pregnancy. People keep trying to get me to tell my due date or ask questions to try and figure it out. Or worse yet, they make guesses... I don't want to share it or even think about it myself! Almost no one knows it. Even Steven can't seem to remember it and he doesn't care that much! Why does not having a specific date in mind bother everyone else so much if even my baby's daddy doesn't mind not knowing!? November is good enough! Be grateful I'm telling what month it is. :-P It almost doesn't matter what anyone asks me, it is too private and too personal at this point. And when I get the feeling they are just trying to figure out details about when this baby might come, it seriously disturbs me to the core. Why are so many folks prying and nosy? And why do they get even more-so prying and nosy when one is pregnant?

Steven's birthday was this past Sunday which was 10-10-10. It was pretty much the most awesome date for a birthday ever! We were both pretty excited about it! When we first realized what date his birthday would land on this year we considered having a party or something to commemorate such a special date. But for one thing, we're really not party people at all and for another, I'm pretty much the opposite of a party person at the moment- so we just arranged to have a nice long leisurely date instead. It was perfect! One of our favorite babysitters happened to be available and came in the late afternoon so we had all evening to do whatever. We shopped a little, had a long dinner, went downtown and had ice cream while walking around the riverfront, and then took our time in a coffee cafe before heading home. It was probably the nicest and longest date we've had since Valentine's Day!

We're working on organizing all our free time/weekends into times to finish up projects and cross off a few items on our "to do before baby" lists. It'll be nice to get everything organized, clean, re-arranged, and ready for a new member of our family. How weird is that!? In a month (give or take as always), we'll have a new family member. Truly bizarre! We still have a lot to do, but I'm not too panicked (yet)... It'll get done in plenty of time I think. :) We're enjoying working on it together. We have a few fun new (!) things ready and put aside for the new baby. A couple of baby blankets that I made, a sweet Moses basket from Nana, and a couple of new baby outfits from my mom.

Well I better get ready for symphony. I just heard Steven walk in and I have to wear concert black tonight because our rehearsal will be filmed. (No, I don't know why.) So now would be a good chance to squeeze in a shower...

Prenatal Appointment #… (I lost count)

2010-10-07T22:58:00.001-04:00

I think I’ve skipped one or two (for no particular reason, just boring!), but don’t worry, I’m still having them. ;-)

Baby is in a great position and has been staying that way which is nice. We’ve had no issues as far as that goes this time around. I think we’ve had a persistent head-down baby since the 3rd trimester began which is a first for me. (And I’m not complaining!) At this point there’s very little chance that baby will flip or get into a less preferable position so that is a relief! Baby is measuring normally, BP is nice and low, everything is normal and healthy. Nothing new or interesting to report.

Our midwife left us a fetoscope so we can listen in on the baby anytime we want. That’s kind of fun to mess with. :)

We’ve ordered our birth kit and only have a couple more items to collect before time. Sometimes it is so hard to remember everything. But mostly, I feel fairly prepared. I’m enjoying a home study course in Hypnobabies and I listen to MP3s of all the scripts which is nice and relaxing. (But it often puts me to sleep… again, not complaining!)

I’m getting big and uncomfortable and irritable but miraculously still sleeping fairly well and I’m quite tired a lot (which is about right for this stage). I’m so ready to go into hibernation (or seclusion or solitary confinement… whichever), but I can’t because I have about 230982350823098 gigs over the next 3 weeks. (I might be exaggerating a tad, but just a tad.) UGH. I mean, I’m grateful because it’s very helpful right now to have the work. I accepted it all because we need it. But…ugh. :-P

I guess it’s the storm before the calm?

The End of an Era

2010-09-26T20:30:00.001-04:00

For over 30 years (until he retired) my dad worked as Senior Vice President of The Peoples Bank in Winder, GA. I grew up visiting that friendly small town bank on a regular basis. I knew everyone there and they all knew me. I felt important and loved there. I was Mr. Hurley’s daughter after all! My dad was not only an important man at the bank, he was very well-respected and well-loved so it was nice to be related to him. I remember the first time a (new) teller there asked me for my account number. First of all I didn’t even know I had an account number so I was rather stumped. Second of all I was thinking, “Does this girl know who I am!? How dare she ask me questions!” ha! Yes, I kind of felt like I half-owned the place since I was Mr. Hurley’s daughter.

During our growing up years we all worked at the bank. Both my older brothers, my older sister, myself, and my mom have spent time working at the bank. We went to all the bank parties, had our pictures taken in the Garden Room by Olan Mills, and helped out with many bank-organized community events. That bank was a pillar of our community and family.

About a week ago, our beloved Peoples Bank was seized by the FDIC. The Peoples Bank is no more. It has been bought by another bank and will have a new name, new owners, and who knows what other changes. But it isn’t my daddy’s bank anymore- the one that was owned and operated by the Maddox family for three generations. When I heard this news, my heart sank into the pit of my stomach.

My mom sent me some newspaper clippings from my hometown local news. When I carefully unfolded the clippings and read the articles to my husband I desperately choked back tears. One of the articles in particular- an opinion piece presented by The Winder News- was so good, I felt I must share it here…

Barrow County News – September 19, 2010
This One Really Hurts

For decades, behind every good cause and every constructive effort in Barrow County stood The Peoples Bank, one of the business foundations upon which this community has been built.

It would be impossible to name all the groups, organizations, and individuals that have been assisted by the bank and its representatives. Not only the bank, but also the Maddox family, which has been generous and giving for three generations.

Some of their contributions have been recognized publicly, but many have been quietly made in the genuine spirit of giving.

As the news spread Friday night that the bank would be changing ownership, it was met with numbness and disbelief, but the overriding emotion was downright sadness.

When asked for his comments, Tommy Jennings, executive director of the Barrow County Chamber of Commerce, said “Of course The Peoples Bank has meant so much to the community for so many years, and we’ve watched Winder grow and prosper. It’s the end of one era of community banking in Barrow County. I don’t know what the intentions are of the new bank. I only know the intentions of the last 84 years have been for the betterment of Barrow County. We hate to see the change that we’re afraid might happen, however, time marches on. I look forward to the future with our new friends from Carrollton and hope their commitment will rival the commitment of The Peoples Bank to this community.”

Winder Mayor Chip Thompson expressed his personal sadness and the implications for the city. “It breaks my heart,” said Thompson. “They are the backbone of this town and community. There will be no legacy of old established banks anymore. They have made loans to good people and taken care of those people. My heart goes out to Chris and all the stock holders. A lot of people took a bad hit today. It’s an extremely bad sign for the city. They are our anchor. This was and is Winder. The hill has gotten a lot steeper today.”

This newspaper would be negligent if it failed to note the close business and personal relationships that it has enjoyed for decades with the bank and the Maddox family.

As two of the oldest businesses in town, The Peoples Bank and the Barrow County News have a long legacy of working together as both business partners and as community advocates.

Communities do not quickly overcome the loss of such a valuable and trusted friend. The Peoples Bank and the Maddox family have left a legacy that will not end with the changing of the bank’s name. The bank and its governing family will live on through the work and lives of many organizations and people.

The current tough economic times have been especially difficult on some of the nation’s banks. We are certain that for The Peoples Bank, economic woes were a result of being too generous, and trying too hard to help sustain the local economy of Winder and Barrow County.

The business family of our community has lost a beloved member, and all of us who dealt with the Maddox family and the extended family of bank employees on a regular basis will be mourning its loss for years to come.

Why I Love ICAN

2010-09-22T22:07:00.001-04:00

Sometimes being involved with ICAN can be a touch depressing and frustrating. Those of us who are leaders and co-leaders are so invested in knowing the research and continually studying cesareans, VBACs, and being up-to-date on the latest about birth and cesarean and VBAC; it is really hard to watch the trends around us and the doctors around us making horrific decisions for women that don’t seem to feel they have options. So many just go into it convinced that they have no other choice but repeat c-section and are also convinced (in their own minds or by their doctors or a combination?) that attempting labor again would be some awful barbaric experience, yet repeat cesarean will be lovely and risk-free. (!?) I seriously see this so many times and it makes me so sick because this is what we are trying so hard to combat and reverse.

But then we have meetings and things like this happen…

At our meeting last night we had a new young lady join us. She told the story of her first birth, a cesarean, which she now understands was almost certainly unnecessary and was primarily because she didn’t realize she had options and she didn’t realize that her doctor wasn’t advising her to do what was best for herself and her baby. She was induced early and had a nightmarish, long, failed-induction-turned-cesarean. As she is expecting her second baby now, she is determined not to have that same experience again. She told us she didn’t think her current OB is being very supportive but has no idea where to turn or what to do. We asked who her OB is and as the name was uttered there was an audible gasp in the room. Yes. We know that name quite well. And we know that practice with the 1-in-8 chance of ever even having YOUR doctor on call when you go into labor (if you get so lucky as to not be induced by their ridiculous induction standards). There were midwives and doulas in the room who have had extremely negative experiences with this particular doctor (and practice) so his name is on our short list of doctors to avoid. Probably at the top of that list, actually.

She was visibly relieved to have validation of her feelings about her doctor and was anxious to know…. “Well, where do I go next!?” So we gave her our best recommendations and she made a choice and left with that name written down with plans to call the very next day! She’s actually planning to see who I saw with Ephraim, which is a very good choice! She also was very interested in hiring a doula and also took down names/numbers and said she would definitely stay in touch with us and will probably be back next month. :) I sure hope so!

Having women come to our meetings who are truly in need of good information and needing to know that she has options is so rewarding and wonderful. To see how worried she was at the beginning of the meeting and how utterly relieved she felt by the end, and she was confidant that she knew what to do next! It was just a perfect end to my day. This is why I love ICAN. :)

Natural Digestive Enzymes

2010-09-09T15:43:00.001-04:00

As I mentioned in my last post, heartburn/reflux has been a major issue for me in recent weeks. Just when I thought I might make it through this pregnancy without it (ha!) it struck worse than I had ever experienced before. Waking me up countless times through the night to the point that I was getting almost no sleep because of how painful it was. I had it throughout the day as well even while standing/sitting straight up. I was beginning to feel as if nothing would help.

I prefer to not rely on any OTC or prescription pharmaceuticals unless I exhausted all other options first. I prefer to find a natural and healthy solution that works long term. So my first line of action was to try any and all natural remedies that are available. This includes diet changes, natural supplements, chiropractic, acupressure… just to name a few. So I had a long list of things to try before resorting to less-ideal options and even if everything I tried only helped a little, I was planning on sticking with it as long as I could possibly stand it.

My midwife highly recommended digestive enzymes. I had tried a few different kinds in the past with not much luck so I was skeptical but she reassured me that if I got the right kind, it might work, and she said it was worth trying again. So we picked up a new kind I had never tried before. An all-plant-based combo of digestive enzymes by Rainbow Light which is a favorite vitamin brand of mine. My prenatals are also by Rainbow Light. I figured these were worth a try before moving on to something else.

The idea of enzymes is to aid in your own digestive processes so that heartburn just doesn’t happen. They give a little added boost to your natural digestion by providing good bacteria or probiotics to help you more easily break down food during a time (pregnancy, in my case) in which your digestion is typically slowed and/or not as affective due to a crowded tummy.

I have to say that the difference since I started on these has been night and day and I’ve never felt such relief from heartburn even better than any over-the-counter remedies I’ve used in the past. This isn’t just suppressing symptoms either, my heartburn is gone! And I just feel better all around because I guess my digestion really needed the extra help! I haven’t been woken up at night at all and I’m not having any reoccurrences during the day either! I’m rather shocked and amazed because I wasn’t really expecting it to work and I definitely wasn’t expecting it to make this much of a difference.

I’m sure that digestive enzymes are not the solution for every mom as heartburn has all sorts of different underlying causes, but for me it was totally the answer this time. I also plan on adding more probiotics into my diet both in supplement form and by eating more plain yogurt and/or Kefir etc. Probiotics also have the added benefit of hopefully preventing GBS. Along with being careful about what I eat and when; keeping a healthy dose of yogurt/probiotics and almonds around; and the digestive enzymes; I’m hoping that the agonizing heartburn is a thing of the past. I definitely recommend a heavy-duty digestive enzyme to anyone dealing with any sort of digestive issues, and especially to pregnant moms! It’s a great natural way to improve digestion and cure acid reflux. Definitely at least worth a try!

Prenatal Appointment #4

2010-09-08T10:30:00.001-04:00

Had another appointment last night. No blood work this time! Just a normal appointment.

BP was 100/70 (We were talking about hospital birth while she checked my BP and she said she could tell it stresses me to think about it and it raised my BP! :-P Go figure…)
We heard the heart beat as usual. :) Emily was awake this time so she got to hear it too!
Still measuring perfectly!

My midwife did some belly-mapping and drew a picture of the baby in the position he/she was in during our appointment. She called it an “ultrasound.” hehe :) This is my preferred version of an ultrasound which avoids all the unnecessary risks of non-medically-indicated ultrasounds. I’ve found experienced midwives to be far more accurate than ultrasound at determining size/weight/fluid levels anyway, plus she can tell you with no doubt exactly what position the baby is in so there is no reason I’d need an ultrasound! There’s just no indication for it. The good news is that baby is head down! However, she said that there is still plenty of room in there for baby to do some more flipping around so it doesn’t necessarily mean we’re head-down for the remainder. But we can hope! My gut instinct (no pun intended) says we’re head-down for good and I really hope I’m right.

Other than that, there wasn’t much to discuss. We talked about my most annoying pregnancy symptom (awful heartburn/reflux) and possible solutions (natural digestive enzymes/meal portions/meal spacing/diet etc). She prefers I avoid all over-the-counter reflux medications (they aren’t good for the placenta or the baby) and I prefer to avoid them as well so we are in agreement there. I just have to be more disciplined and pay closer attention to what I eat, and what to avoid, and spacing so that the approved remedies will have a chance to work! I will be happy even if they even put a dent in the discomfort- just enough to get me through the last weeks of this pregnancy!

For breakfast this morning I had THE juiciest and most delicious organic cantaloupe I have ever had the pleasure of tasting and since breakfast I’ve had ZERO heartburn for the first time in…. days/weeks? I can’t even remember. It’s been a while. So cantaloupe is a definite YES for my diet! Too bad melons are going out of season soon! Ack!

Now I’m off to brew up some pregnancy tea and take my prenatal vitamin plus all my other supplements while I happen to be thinking about it. Placenta brain is not good for remembering these things… :-P

Being Prepared

2010-09-03T17:55:00.002-04:00

I've had a few friends in recent months to have babies. A couple of them have asked me for advice on how to pursue having a natural hospital birth. I love it when friends ask me that. :) Especially when they take my advice! It just feels good that for one, they want to give baby the gift of a natural birth and for two, they feel that I might know how to advise them! I’m always honored when they ask. :)

My first piece of advice is get a doula!!! If you were to ask me my top three items of advice it would be, get a doula, get a doula, and GET A DOULA! Seriously. Get a doula. Now.

Do make sure you’re getting a good doula. They aren’t all equal! Ask for references and/or ask around about recommendations. If you hire a good doula she may be what at first sounds expensive to you. But trust me, it is worth every penny. Don’t even hesitate for a second. Just hire her. Lots of doulas will arrange payment plans with you if there is a problem with finances. In fact, I’d say that the best doulas I know are eager to help women no matter their financial difficulties and are thrilled to help in any way they can!

My second piece of advice is be prepared! Take an independent comprehensive childbirth education class that is NOT in the hospital. Even if you are giving birth in the hospital, don't take the hospital class. More often than not the hospital class could also be called the "how-to-be-a-good-patient-class." Not that you don't necessarily want to be a good patient, but keep in mind that 99% of moms in the hospital do not have a natural birth. So you aren't really going for being a normal patient either. I’ve had friends to take the hospital class and literally be laughed at by the nurses when they expressed they were planning a natural birth.

The top two classes that I've seen mom after mom after mom have great success with are: The Bradley Method of Natural Childbirth and Hypnobabies. These would be my top two recommendations though I'm sure there are some other good independent childbirth education classes out there as well! I took Birthing from Within which was also good, but from what I’ve heard from my friends who’ve taken them and/or teach them- the other two are better. Look for certified childbirth education teachers in these particular methods and you'll likely have the best preparation you can get!

My third bit of advice is to read a lot! Don't just go out and get What To Expect When You're Expecting and read that. NO- that book will not prepare you for anything. Read The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth, and Gentle Birth Choices, and Your Best Birth, and Great Expectations. These are books that will accurately educate you on the natural processes of pregnancy and birth.

Of course there are actually tons more books that I could recommend but nine months only gives you so much time for reading! And if you're like me and already have kids? Yeah... one or two might be all you can handle (if that)! But there are so many really good ones out there!
But most importantly- get a doula! ;)

However, from seeing what my friends go through in their births, I do have to warn that sometimes no amount of reading, research, classes, and preparation can save you from unwanted interventions. At my ICAN meetings we hear story after story from women who were given unnecessary c-sections merely because their labors were taking too long. Or they were taking too long, were given pitocin, and then the pitocin distressed their baby and the baby had to be saved via c-section. This is all too common and very difficult to avoid in a hospital setting if you’re dealing with an abnormally slow labor. I feel so bad for these sweet mamas who tried so hard to birth their babies naturally and were met with an impossible situation. Most of them regret having gone to the hospital in the first place and go on to plan home VBACs.

And then a good friend of mine who recently had a fantastic (if long!) homebirth found through her experience that if she were to have birthed in the hospital, she most certainly would have had a c-section. She had a 32 hour labor with a baby who had the cord wrapped around his neck (which is a very normal thing, 3 of mine were born this way). Her midwife monitored them carefully in labor and both mom and baby did great throughout labor; but in the hospital she almost without a doubt would have been given pitocin at some point and with the cord around the baby's neck the unnaturally strong pitocin-induced contractions likely would have caused the baby to go into distress and she would have needed a c-section at that point. She feels strongly that having him at home saved her from all that and no amount of doulas, classes, or reading could have prepared her to have him naturally in the hospital. Unfortunately, it is what it is.

But for many women, having a doula, taking an independent childbirth education class, and educating themselves by reading a lot is enough to thoroughly prepare them to have a natural birth in the hospital! I've had two friends go through this process recently and both of them hired a doula, took the Bradley Classes, and read Thinking Woman's Guide (plus more) and went on to have awesome natural hospital births with a fantastic doula. I am so very proud of them both! And I'm so honored that they asked me for advice and then followed it and got precisely what they wanted out of their birth experiences! I can be proud of that, right? :) And yes, I'm even a teensy bit thrilled that one of them has already told me that next time she has every intention of giving birth at home! :-D

Homeschooling: Year 3

2010-09-02T11:53:00.001-04:00

It is hard for me to believe that we’ve been homeschooling now for over two years. This is our third year! Granted, the first year was never all the way complete and we kept working on that curriculum (and we still use a lot of it!) for quite some time into our second year. That’s one thing I really like about pre-school and kindergarten. Flexibility. There’s no pressure (we aren’t accountable to the school system before age 6) and we can do what works for however many days or weeks we need without worrying about meeting any requirements. So nice!

Now we’re “official” according to our state requirements so I have to be a bit more rigid about getting all our days in, but homeschooling always has a level of flexibility as well. Some days I do just enough to be able to count it as a school day while other days we do above and beyond just because we’re feeling up to it and things are going smoothly (and the little ones are cooperating- the main kicker!). Might as well take advantage of those good days when they come along!

We’ve learned that sometimes it just works out best to wait until the boys’ afternoon nap before even attempting any school work. And sometimes we skip a day entirely and make it up on Saturday when Daddy is here to help!

We definitely have our good and bad days. Some days it seems like everything just falls perfectly into place, the little guys behave, and we have a blast doing our lessons. Then some days are just so challenging and full of tears that I never think we’ll finish for the day. (And sometimes we don’t!) But overall it is going well. There’s enough good to outweigh the bad! I’m guessing I’m not the only homeschooling mom who doesn’t have 100% perfect and rosy days all the time…

We learned that the subjects which take the longest are Science and History. I really like to be thorough and take my time so we found that the best system is to alternate which days we do Science and History. We do not do both every day! This works out because in almost every subject we almost always do more than one days worth of work. I don’t make this a requirement, but it has worked out this way so far. She will most likely finish a lot of this curriculum way before we’re technically done with the school year. This is fine with me because then we’ll have a really light load for the remainder of the required days and have the flexibility to explore other interests for a while! Plus it gives me the flexibility now to skip a subject if we need to every now and then.

Recently we took advantage of a deal I found on Moneysavingmom.com and it may be one of the best schooling investments we’ve made so far! It’s the Hooked on Phonics Kindergarten Learn to Read program. I bought it to use with Claire after having hit a brick wall in her reading progress. I borrowed this book from a friend and felt it wasn’t what we needed at this point so I was excited to stumble upon this curriculum and to get it for such a steal!

Claire and I have had so much fun with this curriculum. It is so simple and easy to use and she has taken amazing strides already! We watch a DVD lesson together on my computer, then we review all the sounds and words in her workbook that she learned in the lesson, and then she reads a simple story to me that is built on all the sounds and words she has learned so far. This has truly been a no-frustration program so far! It was exactly what we needed to get to the next level of her reading! I don’t think it could be any simpler or easy. Definitely something I’ll use again with the boys!

I’m so glad I have something official to use with Claire consistently now as she really wanted to be more involved in school time! And she’s only 4 so I’m not overly concerned about doing a lot with her, but tackling her reading hurdle is something I’d really wanted to work on.

The girls start their co-op at church just one week from today! Pretty exciting!

New Exciting Church Opportunities!

2010-08-25T20:53:00.101-04:00

Tonight was the kick-off for the year at our church. Wednesday night fellowship resumes as do various ministries, studies, choir rehearsals, etc- all that were mostly off for the summer. I love Wednesday nights! Not only that, but the women had a meeting tonight discussing upcoming opportunities. Some things are falling perfectly into place for us so I'm pretty excited!

I signed up the girls for the homeschool co-op that will take place on Thursdays starting at 9:30 and going until early afternoon. That means that on Thursday, the co-op will be ALL the school we need for the day! During the women's meeting tonight I learned that our pastor is offering a class just for women on Thursday mornings at 9:45 and he'll be teaching on Covenant Theology. I love theology (especially Covenant theology ;)! Sometimes I've thought that if we didn't believe it is wrong for women to become pastors, I might consider it! Nursery is provided during the class and the girls will be in Art class during that time so it's perfect timing. I couldn't believe how perfect actually! As I was looking at the list of women's classes and Bible studies I saw that one in particular and was wishing I could do it- then I realized, I'll be at the church at that time every week anyway so I CAN do it! It was just such a fun realization. :) And I love our pastor and it'll be so nice to be in a small group of women studying Covenant theology with him! We already took the new member's class with him and thought it was excellent. He really lays it all out on the line and makes the truth of Scripture clear and easy to understand. He doesn't shy away from the harder topics either. I appreciate his strong stand on important aspects of theology. And the boys will just be down the hall from where the class is which is ideal. Yay!

It'll also be nice for me to have one day a week off from being the teacher. :) On Thursdays the girls will be taking Art, Writing, Science, and History with some wonderful homeschoooling moms at our church who have volunteered to teach these subjects! And for part of that time I'll be taking Covenant Theology with Pastor Caines! I'm very pleased with our line-up of classes.

In addition to our busy Thursday schedules, I'm hoping to attend the bi-weekly mother's encouragement group on Tuesdays.

And on the Wednesday nights that we can make it (meaning, when I do not have symphony rehearsals...), we'll go to the fellowship dinner and the kids will go to choir practice. They loved it tonight!

There is also a new kids' program starting up on Sunday evenings that I'm hoping we can be involved in, but we'll see how that goes.

I was also considering a ballet class also being offered at our church, but I really don't know about adding one more thing...

It's just hard for this one-car-family to be car-juggling so frequently!

I always worry a little bit about over-committing to too much. I want to be able to stay sane and still manage what we need to manage at home! I hate the idea of having a different commitment every day and it's easy to fall into that! I probably tend to err on the side of under-committing because I hate getting stressed, but I don't know. This year I think we have enough going on for right now!

And the gigs keep rolling in which is both good and bad. Good because I really need the work right now. Paying for this upcoming birth is proving more challenging than last time! But at the same time, I wouldn't mind being less busy! I can't complain though- God is providing for us! I keep thinking, "Okay, so now October 20th will be my last gig before baby time." And then I get a call for something on October 23rd-- and so it goes! This has happened to me twice now so my "last gig" date has already moved later two times...

I've at least turned down almost everything for November so that'll be just a wonderful peaceful time to enjoy and get to know our new baby whenever he or she decides to make an appearance!

So this is probably all kind of boring, but it's "stuff-on-my-mind" and that's what a blog is all about, right? :)

Friday Adventures

2010-08-20T14:01:00.001-04:00

I was about to get the boys up to bed for their nap. I told them to head upstairs for a diaper change. They were both headed that direction when Will screamed that kind of scream that you only hear if he is very hurt or very scared. He pointed at the stairs and cried hysterically and wouldn't go up them. I figured he must have seen a bug or a spider or something that scared him badly. But I couldn't find anything and it was nap time so I helped him up the stairs and got him and Ephraim down for their nap. While I was up there I told Emily to keep searching for whatever it was that frightened Will because I knew it couldn't just be nothing.

By the time I got back downstairs Emily had found that there was a lizard-looking-thing hiding just under our first stair. Aha! That explains it. As harmless as it probably is, it would have scared the heck outa me too had I been Will.

Being the perfectly reasonable mommy that I am, I called Steven and said, "How about you come home early today?"

So hopefully Steven will be home in not-too-long. In the meantime Emily is keeping a close eye on the critter.

After I called Steven, Emily asked me to "type 'blue tail striped lizard' into the Google search and find out what it is." Sounded like a decent idea to me. So I did. It's a Five Lined Skink.

Now to figure out how the thing managed to get into my house...

Prenatal Appointment #3

2010-08-18T21:30:00.001-04:00

My 3rd appointment was tonight. Tonight was the fun blood draw, which was actually fine. Sat in my rocking chair while she did all the work. I’m not squeamish about blood draws or anything so it was no biggie. And now it’s done so that’s good!

BP is 80/60
Baby sounds great. Getting bigger! Lots of movement.
Still measuring exactly on track.
I did all my blood sugar checks since my last appointment and they were perfect. I still check it randomly, mostly because I’m a nerd and it’s rather interesting to know.
I’m taking the correct form of alfalfa now. :)

Aaaand, that’s about it.

Teaching our Children about Purity

2010-08-17T15:28:00.002-04:00

I know I’m perhaps a little bit ahead of myself in this, but it’s something extremely important to Steven and I and I’m not sure one could ever be too prepared on this particular subject. We talk about it quite a bit and obviously think and pray about it as well.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how to teach my children the importance of purity outside of marriage*. It seems to be almost a lost concept among today’s youth and I do not want my kids to ever feel it’s not of extreme importance. It would be easy to feel that way in our current world of instant gratification and convenience. Even Christians fall prey to this way too frequently.
When do we start talking about this? How do we start?
But I also know there has to be a balance. It would be best if they can understand purity without us having to create a long list of restrictive rules to protect them as they get older. If they don’t understand, no amount of rules would be enough to protect their hearts. They must understand this on a heart level, but because of the difficulty of understanding these things from a young age, I do also think some rules are necessary.
I don’t even feel I really completely understood it until after Steven and I were married. We definitely knew it was important and worked towards that goal together, but I felt like I began to understand it on an even deeper level after marriage. It became even more clear after we had Emily. It’s amazing how children can help to clarify ones’ faith, beliefs, and convictions!
It is only the grace of God that kept Steven and myself as unscathed as we were when we got married and I am so grateful for that. We were not perfect as no one is, but our marriage and honeymoon were a very special time for us because of how God had graciously preserved us prior to marriage. I will always treasure that. It is certainly also a credit to the teaching we received from our own parents! I want the same for my children and I am already praying that for them.
A dear friend of mine shared with me that throughout her premarital counseling with her fiancé, their pastor asked them at every session “What have you done together physically since our last session?” This really kept them accountable for their actions and helped them to carefully guard their purity prior to marriage. I was so glad for her that she and her husband had such a wise counselor who knew the importance of purity outside of marriage! She and her husband had an amazing wedding day (I was honored to be there to witness their vows) and are now joyfully expecting their first child!
Another couple had the father of the bride instruct them that they were never to sleep under the same roof prior to marriage. That may seem extreme, but I believe it to be such a wise decision. Having been through dating and engagement myself, I know how wise that decision was! I have so much respect for that loving father and that precious couple who faithfully honored his request.
Couples can never ever be too careful in this area as it is a very slippery slope into sexual sin. I do think it is the father’s role to protect his daughters in this area. I know that Steven and myself (particularly Steven) will have our own set of rules for our daughters (and sons too!) up until they are married to help guide them in this area. We don’t know quite what in particular yet or what that will look like. We definitely have some very strong feelings about certain aspects of it. Living together will certainly be out of the question, but beyond that; there is a lot to think and pray about!
I also wonder what to tell them that is not telling them too much prior to marriage or a serious relationship. What do I share from my own experience and past struggles? Where’s the balance of what to tell that would be helpful and what would be too much information for them? Can a parent be too honest?
Weddings always feel so much more special when the bride and groom have remained pure throughout their pre-marriage relationship. I’m always so happy and excited for my friends and family who make it to that very special day in a God-honoring way. It is so worth the wait! It makes the day that much more exciting for them as they anticipate their honeymoon and the rest of their lives to enjoy each other as husband and wife!

¹⁸Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. ¹⁹Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; ²⁰you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
~1 Corinthians 6:18-20

²⁸But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
~Matthew 5:28

¹Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritualact of worship. ²Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
~Romans 12:1-2

*An excellent article on purity, I wanted to quote a lot of it but realized I’d end up quoting the whole thing. Definitely worth the read.

Children are a Blessing

2010-08-11T09:46:00.003-04:00

I've been feeling sad lately about some attitudes I've witnessed regarding children. It makes me sad both because it's un-Biblical and because I've had the same attitudes in the past and I regret that now.

Children are a blessing. This is Biblical. No where does the Bible say that children are a curse, or anything other than a blessing. Children are a reward, a heritage from God. They are a gift. The Bible makes this quite clear! To say otherwise is simply wrong.

Scriptures regarding children:
***
Matthew 18:2-6

² Then Jesus called a little child to Him, set him in the midst of them, ³ and said, “Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. ⁴ Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. ⁵ Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me."

Matthew 19:14

¹⁴ But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.”

Psalm 127:3-5
³Behold,children are a heritage from the LORD,
   the fruit of the womb a reward.
⁴Like arrows in the hand ofa warrior
   are the childrenof one’s youth.
⁵Blessed is the man
   who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
   when he speaks with his enemiesin the gate.

***
I remember when the thought of having a child caused me to wrinkle my nose and say, "Nah. Not for me. Not right now." Now that I have children I wish I had never thought that way. When I see others say similar things it breaks my heart.

Yet this attitude towards God's blessings is rampant in our culture, even among Christians.

Where children are not welcome is not usually somewhere I would choose to be. If my children are not wanted in certain situations or at particular events, I am not inclined to be there myself. Sometimes it is unavoidable but such events are always laced with sadness for me and a level of insult as well. It reeks of an un-Biblical attitude towards children.

Of course there are times and places where it would not be good for the children to be there, but in general there are very few situations in which I don't think children should be welcome with open arms. As Emily and I have been studying in her school, families are the foundational unit of our society.

It is my opinion at this point in my life that once a couple is married that they should be open to the possibility of children in their family right away- and with a good attitude about it. Even if children are not in their immediate plans, God has ultimate control and that fact should be accepted with joy. Children are the natural result of a loving Godly marriage. I hate the cultural expectation that a couple wait a at least 2 (or 3 or 4) years before welcoming a child. There is nothing wrong or harmful about welcoming a baby into a new family as soon as God gives that blessing. In fact, that is the way I think it should be in general.

When I reflect on all the reasons I thought I didn't want children in the beginning of our marriage, they all begin with "I want." They are all selfish. None of those thoughts were of God, none were of a sincere trust or faith in God, nor were any of my attitudes towards children Biblical. I thought I knew what was best for myself more than God knows what is best for me.

I continually see young married couples wrinkle their noses at any hint of babies and act as if the person hinting at it is mentioning some horrible curse. This look of horror appears in their eyes at the very thought... Have Christians forgotten what God says about children? Since when does the thought of a "gift," a "reward," and a "blessing" bring images of horror to our minds? There is nothing Godly in this attitude, even if it is despicably common.

To be "common" or "normal" is not what we are called to as Christians.

Now that I have four children and one on the way I see and hear a lot more than my fair share of our cultures prevailing attitude towards children. It seems to come out of the woodwork. And it makes my heart heavy.

John 16:21

When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.

And so it begins…

2010-07-24T18:18:00.001-04:00

Conversation that took place today (verbatim!):

Store Clerk: “Are you about to go into labor?”
Me: “No.”
Store Clerk: “When is your baby due?”
Me: “November.”
Store Clerk: “DANG, you’re big! Your baby is going to weigh a lot. I bet you’ll go early.”

So there’s my first experience with the “you’re huge” comments this time around and I’m not even in the third trimester yet. Oh goody…

But thankfully there are also plenty of kind people in the world. Last week someone said to me, “You just look so healthy!”

I think that may be the nicest thing one can say to a pregnant lady. Because what else do we want to be but healthy? That’s pretty much my goal here! Healthy mama, healthy pregnancy, healthy baby! Hearing that makes it easier to ignore the less-flattering comments.

Estimated Due Dates

2010-07-14T12:59:00.004-04:00

I’m not really going by an exact date this time around. I’ve been saying “Early-ish November” which is close enough. I know the exact due date is bogus anyways because it can be anytime up to 2+ weeks before OR after that date. And many women don’t even have a good idea of their accurate due dates anyway. I normally do, but if you hadn’t noticed- I’m weird.

Sidenote: It irritates me when I’ve been asked, “Has your doctor given you a due date yet??” I would have a due date with or without a care provider to tell me one! I do have a brain of my own and I know my own body, thank-you-very-much. A very early ultrasound may help with early dating if I needed it (early u/s are more accurate than later), but that doesn’t mean I can never know my exact dates without it. But I certainly do not need any care provider to “give me a due date.” And it just irks me to hear as much! I guess it is just the most common course for most women, but that doesn’t mean I think that’s the way it should be. :P

I do know my “exact date,” but here is my paranoia about it… I see women go past their supposed “exact dates” all the time and all the sudden everyone in the world is badgering them, “Have you had that baby yet!? Well WHY NOT!?!” I would not be able to put up with that at all. I get reclusive, hormonal, and moody enough as it is without all that. I don’t need it. So I’m avoiding it as much as possible.

Also, our last baby who was born full term (Will) came ON his "estimated due date." (Told you I know my dates. ;) And that makes me paranoid and like there is even more pressure to birth this baby ON the exact due date. I would feel like a “watched pot.” I don’t want that kind of pressure! It just makes me so paranoid about the due date. So I’m trying to somewhat ignore that date. If I could, I’d forget it. (But I don’t think my midwife would appreciate that. She seems to like accurate due dates for whatever reason… :P)

If there is ever anything that asks me an exact due date (like on a baby website or whatever else I may sign up for here and there) I fudge it and don’t even use the real date. I make up a date that may be before or after so that there is nothing that screams that “due date” at me or anyone else.

Early-ish November. We can go with that. Sometime after October and Before December is even better. ;)

Prenatal Appointment #2

2010-07-13T08:04:00.002-04:00

My 2nd prenatal appointment was last night. I don’t even think I blogged about my 1st one… it was 4 weeks ago of course! I won’t necessarily blog every appointment, but maybe a few here and there.
Anyway, my midwife comes to our house for every appointment at about the same time the kids go to bed so that Steven and I can be relaxed and not have much to do. It’s the perfect time of day for us to have an appointment! She usually stays for almost 2 hours if not a full 2 hours. I keep meaning to offer her coffee and brownies or something! Seems like I should!
She does all the normal prenatal things and then we talk a lot about everything else going on in our lives. She’s very comprehensive!
Everything checked out perfectly last night.

BP is 100/70
I didn’t find out what the baby’s heart rate is (forgot to ask!) but we heard it and it was nice and strong.
I’m measuring perfectly on track! (Which is nice because in previous pregnancies I’ve always measured large. It’s never been a problem or outside of “normal” but it’s still nice to be even more normal! lol But who knows if we’ll continue that way!)
The baby is continuing to grow bigger and stronger and we’re both healthy! I get tons of strong kicks and large baby wriggles now that are not always comfortable, but always amusing. :)
I found out that the alfalfa I’ve been taking is no good. :P Which is my fault because I asked her about it. ;) (I already had wondered about it.) But it’s good information to know so I can correct it. I do want to be taking the right supplements that won’t be a waste of money! We even discussed coating the alfalfa horse pills in chocolate like in Princess Bride. hehe

At my next appointment she gets to draw my blood. Oh goody! :P (At least I get to sit on my couch in my living room. That’ll be a new experience for having blood drawn!)

Sugar and Pregnancy

2010-07-11T11:02:00.001-04:00

Sometimes I just really need to be reminded of the seriousness of the affect sugar has on my health and the health of my baby. Yes, I love love loooove sweets and treats. Ice cream, candy, pastries, doughnuts- you name it... if it's sweet, I LOVE IT! At times I have felt that my sweet tooth is hopelessly insatiable. Ridiculous!

But I have to remind myself of what it does in my body, to my body, and to the health of our precious little baby.

I've been eating pretty fair amounts of sugar ever since that dratted morning sickness kicked in and have had a very difficult time cutting it off once I got re-accustomed to having it semi-regularly. (We had been off sugar for months prior to pregnancy.)

Then today, just to remind myself of WHY this is important, I looked up a few articles about it: http://pregnancy.amuchbetterway.com/sugar-and-pregnancy/

Just a few quotes: (emphasis mine)
*********
"The sugar story gets worse for pregnant women. During pregnancy, sugar is rapidly absorbed into your blood and in order to regulate this sugar, your body requires larger amounts of insulin which is released by your pancreas. If you are eating excessive or even moderate amounts of sugar, your pancreas is going to have a difficult time keeping up. If your pancreas falls short of its job, then your blood sugar levels stay elevated. This is a problem even if you do not develop full blown gestational diabetes."

" In addition, large babies of mothers with elevated blood sugar levels also have a higher risk of childhood obesity."

"Your body only needs an extra 300 calories during the second and third trimester, which should consist of high quality protein, vitamins and minerals because your body is literally building another human being. If you are not eating the proper nutrients to build a little human being’s bones, blood, fingernails and hair, then the necessary nutrients will be sucked out of your nutritional stores, putting you at risk for lifelong health problems, osteoporosis, postpartum depression and a number of other health conditions that are entirely avoidable by eating well before, during and after pregnancy."

"In addition, it makes sense to get the sugar out of your house before your child is born. Children who regularly eat sugar experience raised adrenal levels, hyperactivity, anxiety, depression, concentration difficulties, low immunity, crankiness, sleep troubles, tooth decay, obesity and weight problems and lifelong health problems and disease. Do you think it is easier to get the sugar out of your home before they are born or when they are 10 and addicted to Fruit Loops or other such nonsense?"

"Sugar is more than that white stuff you put in your coffee. Sugar is everywhere and comes in a variety of shapes and sizes and it is imperative that you know the sneaky forms that sugar comes in if you plan on avoiding it. First and foremost, virtually anything in a bag, box, or can has added sugar."

"If you insist on buying packaged foods, read the labels. Anything with a label is bound to have sugar anyway, but read for yourself. Look for any ingredient ending in ‘ose’. Fructose, dextrose and glucose are all sugars. Bread has sugar. Pizza has sugar. Almost everything has some form of sugar in it."

"White sugar is processed with chemicals and all the good nutrients are stripped from it. It is nothing short of poison and you should not touch it. Whatever you do, do not under any circumstances, substitute chemical sweeteners. They are even worse than sugar. Nutrasweet, Aspartame, Sucralose and Splenda. Poison, poison, poison. They are man made, chemical toxins. Do not dream of touching them while you are pregnant if you value your health and the health of your unborn child. They are linked to a myriad of long term, health conditions. If the package says, “low sugar” or “sugar free”, run don’t walk the other way."

"If you would like to still have a little bit of sweetness in your life go ahead, in moderation, by choosing sweeteners made by mother nature. Enjoy these options in their raw, natural forms and keep in mind that they are still high on the glycemic index and can also contribute to tooth decay. Blackstrap molasses is exceptionally healthy. Raw, organic honey with propolis is also considered an amazing health food. Stevia is another natural sugar alternative but has not been tested on pregnant women. Even sugar itself is loaded with nutrients if it is raw, organic and untouched. If is is just a sugar fix you crave, get some high quality organic, fair trade chocolate. It will load you up with antioxidants and potentially keep your stress level down if you are a real sugar addict."

"Women quit smoking when they find out they are pregnant. Women stop drinking when they find out they are pregnant and women should also stop eating sugar when they find out they are pregnant if they value their health and the health of their beautiful, unborn child."
*********

All I had to do was read that am I an renewed in my determination to fight my cravings and eat real food full of naturally-occurring nutrients and CUT the sugar out completely! I am hoping I will be able to look back on this throughout my pregnancy and continue to stay strong!

I’m going to try to limit all intake of sugar to very rare and exceptional occasions.

I actually do allow myself Stevia even though it hasn't been tested. My midwives have never had an issue with that. I also have Xylitol and in smaller amounts, honey and molasses.

I'm also trying to greatly reduce grains (wheat, rice, oats, etc). I still have a fair amount of fruits and carbier vegetables (peas/carrots/some corn), but I am hoping that those things will not be as damaging. I like to have a little fruit most days. :)

If I'm able to stay strong in this I'm really curious to see if I'll have a smaller baby this time. All of my full-term babies have been over 9 pounds which has never been a problem for me at all, but I wouldn't mind seeing what it's like to push out an 8 pounder. ;) (Or a 7 pounder! Not likely. lol)

Cloth Diaper Reviews: Happy Heiny’s

2010-07-09T08:03:00.002-04:00

Yet another new diaper I have tried is the Happy Heiny’s one size diaper with snap closure.

I’d heard a lot of folks say they love this diaper. From what I saw prior to buying one, it looked very comparable to most popular pocket diapers except that it is available in THE cutest prints (and lots of them!) which are quite tempting. There is just something so fun about slapping a cute print on baby’s bum. I quite enjoy it!

Pros

Lots of really cute prints!
It is a little roomier than some diapers I’ve tried. Fits both boys, but particularly Will- as he’s getting bigger. It’s nice to have a diaper with a generous enough fit to be easy to get onto Will. This diaper has a nice high rise and stretchy elastic.
Nice roomy pocket in the diaper which makes stuffing such a breeze! No frustration there!
A very fluffy and absorbent insert- good quality!
Snap closure (and this is a double-edged sword as you’ll hear later)- no toddler can get this diaper off and the snaps offer more durability in the long run. I also like that they don’t stick to anything else in the laundry cycles!
Overall good quality as far as I can tell.

Cons

Not an extremely great price. A little more expensive than my favorite bumGenius brand. It’s not outrageous, but not so wonderful in my mind that it justifies even that slightly higher price.
Snap closure! It takes me quite a bit more effort and a little frustration at times getting all the snaps lined up and snapped during diaper changes. This is no problem at all when changing Will who is very cooperative and patient and sweet during changes. It IS a problem, however, when changing Ephraim who can really put up a squirmy struggle and make life quite difficult during changes.

In the end I do think I prefer the snap closure to velcro for their durability factor and can manage to put up with the squirmy impatience of Ephraim. It has just been frustrating at times. There are more snaps on the HH diaper than other snap diapers that I have so it definitely takes a bit longer. This diaper is great for double or triple-stuffing for overnights or a long trip and holds up beautifully. No leaks! It fits well and looks super cute and I’ve enjoyed it a lot. It’s definitely a great addition to our diaper stash!

Conclusion: Would I buy more?

Well, that’s a hard question. The unique prints are tempting, but overall I found this diaper to be so similar to other pockets that there was nothing overly-special that would make me really want to buy more. If they were a super special price point or had some fancy feature that made them different, I’d be more tempted. It’s a GOOD diaper and I definitely like it. I just won’t be plopping down the money for more when there are other diapers that are a little cheaper that I like just as well. Now if this next baby is a girl- I may have to splurge on ONE super-cute girly print (but I may also have the self-control to not do that… maybe). So I guess I’m kind of neutral on the “would I buy more?” I would not mind having more as there is not much that I don’t like, but I probably won’t be buying more.

My sleepy boy climbing into his bed for a nap. Aww!

Cloth Diaper Reviews: Smartipants

2010-07-08T07:33:00.002-04:00

One of the other new diapers I have tried recently is Smartipants. I'd had my eye on them for a while having seen some decent reviews and I was impressed by the low price!

So I ordered their 3-pack which (to me) is a tremendously good deal! I wasn't sure what to expect between the decent reviews and the low price.

When they came I was surprised that the diaper wasn't exactly as I expected. Instead of a pocket in the diaper in which to put the insert, it has a sock-like sleeve stitched in that is open on both sides of the diaper. The sleeve fits the insert snuggly enough that it doesn't fall out or shift while in use. "Interesting!" I thought.

Without further ado, I'll just dive right into the pros/cons.

Pros

Low price!
Snap-closures
Fits well
Trim fit. Trim under clothes.
No leaks if changed appropriately.
Insert agitates out in the wash cycle. No need to remove it before tossing dirty diaper into the pail. SO NICE!

Cons

Only has room for one insert. No doubling up on this diaper!
The insert felt a little lumpy after the first wash, but I shook it a couple of times and that smoothed it out perfectly. It feels as if there are some loose layers within the insert that may adjust during washing. Not a huge issue, but could be bothersome if it gets any worse.

Overall I am VERY pleased with this diaper! Especially considering the price! Despite only having room for using one insert (I almost always use two in all of my pocket diapers), this diaper is surprisingly absorbent while fitting nice and trimly. I absolutely LOVE that when changing the diaper I don’t have to do anything before tossing it into the pail (well, you know- providing it’s just a wet diaper). Since it is a snap diaper there are no laundry tabs to mess with and the insert just comes out on its own in the wash! It’s more like an all-in-one than most all-in-ones that I have in that respect! It washes up quite well and still looks just as good as new after several washes. It dries quickly and easily also. The only downside I’ve found so far is that I cannot use this diaper for overnight use since I can’t stuff any extra absorbency to take it those added overnight hours. But for daytime use, it is fantastic!

CONCLUSION: Would I buy more?

Absolutely I would buy more of these diapers! I will point out that I have not tried out this diaper on a smaller baby. (Give me a few months!) So I don’t know how it works (or doesn’t work) on a smaller baby. I have also only used these diapers for a relatively short amount of time so I have no idea of how they hold up under years or even just months of heavy usage. But if they continue to work as they do now and hold up well over time, I will definitely be highly recommending these diapers! So far I really like them!

EDITED TO ADD:
I found a fantastic video review of these diapers that allows you a much closer look and according to this review you CAN double stuff it! I’m gonna have to try that! Exciting!
Go here to see it: http://dirtydiaperlaundry.com/smartipants-cloth-diaper-video-review/

Environmentalism, Cloth Diapers, Composting, Packaging

2010-07-06T19:34:00.002-04:00

I would never really call myself an environmentalist. But by most definitions, I suppose I am just a teensy bit of one. But I think of it totally differently. Here are my jumbled thoughts...

God gave us this one life, this one body, this one earth. We were told to be "good stewards." To me this means to treat the earth, our bodies, and each other with respect, dignity, and love.

I would never be so extreme as to say people should stop having children or start considering abortion/euthanasia "for the good of the planet." That's just (obviously) WRONG. I think it's a bunch of bologna that a few extremist environmentalists are saying these things. This is part of the reason I hesitate to even think of or call myself "an environmentalist" because I DO NOT want to be anywhere near in the same category as those types of “environmentalists.” I may want to save the planet, but LIFE is always the most important thing to respect and preserve.

We live in a very "disposable" society. People buy disposable products without even thinking about it. Paper goods, cleaning supplies, diapers, food packages/packaging, tons and tons of plastics... the list goes on and on. Our landfills are filling up with toxic waste that isn't going *anywhere* for a very very long time.

This is not to say that I'm not just as guilty. I buy these products too. I'm definitely not perfect. At all. I especially have a weakness for disposable cleaning supplies and I readily admit to using 2 or 3 in my cleaning supplies currently. And sometimes I just use paper plates or disposable cooking dishes to avoid doing dishes. I still have junk food on occasion (and thoroughly enjoy it ;) which usually contributes to the landfill in some way... Snickers wrappers. Little Debbie wrappers. Etc. It happens. But hey- soda cans go in the recycling! :P

But I'm trying to change how I think of the phrase "throw away" because really- we don't actually throw anything away. NOTHING GOES AWAY. It goes somewhere else. And sits on the planet in a landfill. This thought disgusts and horrifies me. Every single thing that ever goes into my trash will eventually end up in a landfill just sitting for who knows how long...

Cloth Diapers

This is part of the reason why I can no longer justify using disposable diapers. I may use them for a weekend away when I can't wash diapers. But other than those few times here and there, my conscience can't handle it. And I find it so very upsetting when I hear other parents say flippant or disrespectful things about my (or anyone's) choice to use cloth diapers.

How often do they think of the billions of toxic, chemical-laden, feces-filled, plastic diapers that are plopped into our landfills on a daily basis!? This practice is totally unnecessary!

Here are some environmental facts about disposable diapers:

In 1988, over 18 billion diapers were sold and consumed in the United States that year.⁴ Based on our calculations (listed below under "Cost: National Costs"), we estimate that 27.4 billion disposable diapers are consumed every year in the U.S.¹³The instructions on a disposable diaper package advise that all fecal matter should be deposited in the toilet before discarding, yet less than one half of one percent of all waste from single-use diapers goes into the sewage system.⁴

Over 92% of all single-use diapers end up in a landfill.⁴
In 1988, nearly $300 million dollars were spent annually just to discard disposable diapers, whereas cotton diapers are reused 50 to 200 times before being turned into rags.⁴No one knows how long it takes for a disposable diaper to decompose, but it is estimated to be about 250-500 years, long after your children, grandchildren and great, great, great grandchildren will be gone.⁵

Disposable diapers are the third largest single consumer item in landfills, and represent about 4% of solid waste. In a house with a child in diapers, disposables make up 50% of household waste.⁵

Disposable diapers generate sixty times more solid waste and use twenty times more raw materials, like crude oil and wood pulp.³

The manufacture and use of disposable diapers amounts to 2.3 times more water wasted than cloth.³

Over 300 pounds of wood, 50 pounds of petroleum feedstocks and 20 pounds of chlorine are used to produce disposable diapers for one baby EACH YEAR.⁶

Initially, I chose cloth mostly because of the savings (We used to spend nearly $60 a month on disposables for two babies, now we spend NOTHING except for the little extra water it takes to wash our dipies) and that is a huge benefit. I also enjoyed how cute they were and how they are hands-down healthier for my babies' delicate skin. But now I have to say that the environmental impact has taken priority over those other issues.

Just thinking of contributing to the already overwhelming amount of plastic, feces-filled, chemical-laden, nastiness dumped onto our earth each day is enough to make me nauseated. Does no one else think of it that way? Because we all should! And it is such a simple thing that almost anyone can do to cut down on how much abuse the earth suffers because of us.

Composting

So much of what we dump in landfills is left-over food bits or things like egg shells, potato skins, apple cores, used coffee grounds/tea leaves, banana peels etc. A very easy way to reduce that and return it to the earth in a healthy way. Composting! It is ridiculous that we just started composting though and it embarrasses me that we kept putting it off for so long. But I'm happy to say we now are avid composters and it is so easy! We have a little compost bucket in our kitchen that has a lid that holds down any odors. Almost all scraps we create from cooking/eating go into that bucket and when it is full it goes out to our compost pile in the backyard. It is slowly just decomposing and returning into dark rich soil that we'll be able to use in our garden next year! SO SIMPLE! I love it! Again, this is such a great way to make another reduction to what goes into our over-full landfills. Remember, you can't actually "throw anything truly away."

Packaging

We've started just trying to be aware of the packaging on the items we buy. Of course we still buy things sometimes totally wrapped in non-recyclable plastics and we send that off to the landfill along with all of our other trash, but it is good to be more aware of packaging options. Instead of plastic bottles of shower body wash, we buy bar soaps that at most have a little cardboard (compostable!) sleeve as packaging. That's just one example of something simple that can be changed to reduce our landfill contribution. I've also started making our own deodorant and tooth powder (used in place of tooth paste) and I use re-usable glass jars for those things so that is yet more packaging we no longer need and no longer put in the landfill. When there is something on our shopping list that can be changed simply to reduce packaging, I try to do it. This is still something I need to work a lot on as we've made a little progress, but I think could do much better.

I wish more companies would keep their packaging either recyclable or compostable. That would help so much! But until we as consumers make it clear that we won't buy the "trash," companies will continue to do just whatever makes them the most buck.

I wish every American would watch "Food Inc" and "No Impact Man" to see what our culture, greed, selfishness, and consumerism is doing to the earth, down to the very way our food companies produce our food! I feel like our planet is on the super-speed-highway to being destroyed where if we all just made a few simple changes, we could slow that waaaaay down!

I still have a weakness in many of these areas and in no way am I saying I'm "no impact women" but I am proud of the few steps we've taken and the progress we've made. The trash we send to the landfill every week has been drastically reduced in the last year or two in some very simple and easy ways.

Next I'll work on prying the disposable cleaning wipes, Swiffer accessories, paper towels, and disposable toilet wands out of my white-knuckled vise-like grip... :P

Cloth Diaper Reviews: Envibum

2010-07-06T11:46:00.003-04:00

A few months back I saw a review for Envibum diapers and they looked so amazing I was instantly sorry they weren’t available when I first got all my diapers.

Well recently I bought two of them just to try them out and see if it would even be worth it to get anymore for the new baby. Here is my review of them after just a few weeks of use.

Pros:

CUTE!
Very high quality
Great company. Small, family-owned, they support good causes.
Super soft inside AND out! Comfiest diaper I’ve ever put on any of my babies. They seem to love it!
Very absorbent.
One-size with no adjustments necessary. Just so stretchy that it fits most babies!
Fit both Ephraim and Will beautifully and I love not needing to adjust any elastic or snap-downs! And they truly fit better than most diapers I’ve tried and seem very comfortable for the boys.

Cons:

Very expensive
Take way way WAY too long to dry.
The inserts are not great. They bunch up and get all out of shape after one wash and do not recover well.
Claims to be an all-in-one, but for me isn’t really.
When not changed right on time it does tend to wick out to the outer fabric, but they last plenty long enough. Sometimes I just put off diaper changes too long. ;)
These diapers claim that you should leave the inserts in all the time. They advertise the inserts are “for the phase, not the day.” So for your heavy wetter, you include two inserts and just leave them in through wash/dry cycles. In theory, this sounded great to me! The problem is that I don’t think they EVER would have dried had I not finally given up and pulled out the inserts. I even went so far as to turn the diaper inside-out so it would finally get all the way dry. It was frustrating! And I found the inserts all wadded up/out-of-shape and they never really got very flat again.

Apparently you can use these diapers without the inserts, but with my boys at their ages, it wouldn’t last more than an hour without added absorbency. So it wouldn’t really work for me as an all-in-one.

CONCLUSION: Would I buy more?
I have enjoyed using them and will continue to do so, but I would not buy any more of these diapers. The bunchy inserts and drying issues are not worth it to me. And it’s too bad because I love the company, the extremely high standards of quality, and the plushiness of these diapers. They are so soft that even the girls love it when the boys are wearing them and comment on how soft the diapers are! So cute!

Dinner Conversation

2010-06-16T17:34:00.004-04:00

Except that this wasn't really polite dinner conversation...

Emily asked while sitting at the dinner table, "If mommy didn't eat the baby, how did it get into her stomach?"

Steven responded, "The baby isn't in mommy's stomach! Your stomach is where food goes. The baby is in what is called a uterus."

I interjected that all girls have a uterus but boys don't which Emily thought was amazing and wonderful! Then she said consolingly to her daddy, "But I bet boys have something very special inside their bodies too."

I laughed so hard I had to leave the table to avoid falling off my chair.

A Great Quote from the President of ICAN

2010-06-16T14:48:00.004-04:00

Natural birth is not about suffering, being a show off or doing it just for the experience. It IS about working with your baby and body. It IS about what evidence says is overall the healthiest option. About tuning into your instincts. About patience, determination, stamina, & getting over the wall that so many of us hit. It isn't often about pain free though that can happen. If I can do it, so can you.

I totally agree. And she says correctly that it isn't "just for the experience." That is also true for me, though I have to admit that the experience itself is life-changing and something I will cherish forever.

I would add that the same goes for VBAC and it deeply pains me to see so many women who won't even consider it or try because of all the misinformation they've been fed and all the misconceptions they have.

Pregnancy and Birthy Stuff on the Brain

2010-05-22T23:40:00.004-04:00

I'm starting to feel little bumps and kicks from baby #5! That's always a very fun milestone. :)

Tonight Steven and I watched the movie Orgasmic Birth and it is fantastic. The title is probably a bit off-putting to some, but if you can get over that- I highly recommend it. It is as good, if not better than, The Business of Being Born. Both of these movies are available via Netflix. In fact, TBOBB is available to view instantly on Netflix! How convenient is that!? I love birth movies, especially when preparing for an upcoming birth. They are just so inspiring and I learn new things every time I see one. Orgasmic Birth is possibly even the most educational birth movie I've seen so far. And it shows a wide variety of scenarios and birth situations and couples. If you're pregnant and/or just interested in birth in general definitely check it out.

ICAN of Chattanooga has gotten off the ground pretty well! I'm the co-leader and along with the leader we are already working on plans to go to the next conference in 2011! I'm so excited to be involved with the planning board. Our local chapter meetings have all been so fantastic so far and we've had so many new pregnant moms come and they seem to come away with a lot of great education and information under their belts! It is immensely satisfying to see! We've even had our first VBAC mom have her successful HBAC after coming to a few meetings. It was incredible to have her come back after her birth and tell her story! I am so very proud of her and all the hard work she did to re-claim her birth!

It is sad that most women have to fight for their rights in labor and delivery (especially in Chattanooga- we have horrible stats!), but it is also encouraging that the women who want to and who educate themselves can usually do what it takes to have the best birth possible for themselves and their baby!

In other exciting pregnancy news- my entire trio is pregnant now! We're having fun playing around with slogans like, "Buy 3, get 3 free!" or "The trio within the trio!" Oh the laughter! Susan is due first in August. I am next in November. Rachel is due in December! Our little mini-trio will be close in age. Of course we are all thrilled!

Boot Camp is entering week 5 on Monday! It has gone so well and I'm feeling quite strong and healthy after all the push-ups and running I've done! :P It's quite empowering! I've heard there will be another boot camp starting shortly after this one ends and I'm pretty sure I'll be signing myself up for that one too just to keep this going! This may possibly be my healthiest, fittest pregnancy yet! At least that is my prayer and hope (as usual)! Everything else is going well so far. I've heard the little babe's heart thumping away and we know he/she is an active little squirt so that is good!

#5 plus Boot Camp

2010-05-10T14:41:00.002-04:00

Just in case someone here hasn’t figured it out by now, yes- we are expecting baby #5 in November. Most of you know me outside of this blog so this shouldn’t be news to you, but there it is anyway.

In addition to that, I recently signed up for a fitness Boot Camp. Most might think my timing is odd. Get pregnant then start an intense exercise routine? Well, not really. It was a very strategic move on my part actually. The 1st trimester this time around was actually quite difficult for me. It knocked me off my feet for the most part and I felt pretty bad a lot of the time. I knew that once I got through that first trimester I had to commit to something that would whip me back into shape. Boot camp started right as I was hitting 13 weeks. PERFECT timing!

I knew that at this point in my life I would be unable to force myself to exercise consistently without slapping down the $$ and having a trainer yell at me if I don’t do it. So I really needed this to push me and it has been working beautifully. I absolutely love it! Okay okay, I gripe a LOT when I have to get up at 4:30am to get there on time, but after it is over I feel fantastic! I’m not in love with the early wake-up, but I’m really enjoying the positive results of a regular intense exercise program.

At the start of boot camp the two trainers leading us had us make 4 additional commitments.
1) No sugar.
2) Keep a food journal for accountability.
3) No eating after 6:30pm
4) Drink 3 Litres of water a day

I am trying to do these things and for the most part, I have. We get one day off each week and I admit that I have enjoyed those free days. ;) But it is really nice to have the accountability to re-establish healthy habits.

The boot camp meets 3 days a week at 5am and lasts an hour and a half. So far we’ve never done the same things twice so the trainers always keep us guessing! It’s never boring and they always push us to our maximum abilities. I’m pretty much always sore! (In a good way!)

So far it has been really good and after this week I’ll be half-way through the 6 weeks already! I’m feeling so much stronger and even (slightly) more energetic. haha! I know it has also had positive effects on my overall health (blood pressure and resting pulse etc) which are very important to me, especially during pregnancy. As always I’m very focused on having as healthy a pregnancy as possible so that was a very motivating factor in forcing myself to do this. Now I’m just hoping these trainers will offer another 6 week boot camp after the current one is over!

This was also really good timing to get me back off sugar. I had been off for maybe half-a-year when the first trimester nausea hit me hard and I quickly was reliant on sugary foods to get through that. I was so sad to see all my hard work at eating healthfully slip away from me, but I also felt helpless as I was quite sick unless I ate something and the only things I seemed able to stomach were sugar and carbs. Blech! I’m so glad that is over. I’m easing back into a healthier lifestyle and just hoping I can stick with it as well as I did pre-pregnancy.

I know I rarely update here anymore so you may not hear from me again for a while, but until I think of a better use for this blog- this is about as good as it gets. (I’m sure I’ll update again once the baby comes. ;)

Homeschooling for Cheap

2010-02-23T21:43:00.002-05:00

I was totally inspired recently when I read another mom's guide to homeschooling for nearly-free. She also lists her curriculum for quite a few grades, which is so helpful! This site is also a tremendous resource for curriculum.
We first started Emily with the complete Sonlight Kindergarten curriculum. It is a wonderful curriculum and includes such variety and excitement! But it is also extremely expensive and not something we could afford long-term. (Year after year, with multiple children etc.) SO... in reading about those cheap/free curriculum ideas I was encouraged that this is indeed possible to do, and to still get a good quality education!

I found Sonlight to be a bit overwhelming. It was so much material to cover, I got bogged down very easily. I decided I wanted schooling to be much simpler which I think will make it much more doable!
The best part of Sonlight were the read-aloud books. I began by reading them to her and we read a few that way. Then I quickly realized that Emily was perfectly capable of reading these books for herself and that kind of threw me for a loop! So I started just giving her a book and when she finished it we'd talk about it and then I'd give her the next book. She completed all twenty-plus books this way and did a fantastic job. And most of these books are on a 3rd-6th grade reading level! It's no lie- I'm SO proud of her!

We decided that we couldn't possibly put together such a great variety of books for her as Sonlight did, so we are going to find all of the 1st grade read-aloud books at used book stores. I'm determined! This kind of literature has proven to be a huge part of her schooling and I love it!

In addition to the Sonlight reading list, we have invested a little in an online curriculum that will cover math, language arts, science and history. We are also adding in Bible curriculum and writing. This new system is significantly less expensive than Sonlight and we've already gotten started since we were at a transitional point and ready to start something new and different!

We're also planning on trying different scheduling options. I'm interested in the 6-weeks-on-1-week-off idea. Or 6 weeks on and 2 weeks off. May try both! Not sure yet! Just gonna take it a week at a time. :)

This is the list of books she completed this past year (not including the chapter books that she was given and just read for fun on the side and there were also quite a few of those!):

The Apple and the Arrow - Buff
The Boxcar Children - Warner
Dolphin Adventure - Grover
Five True Dog Stories - Davidson
A Grain of Rice - Pittman
The House at Pooh Corner - Milne
The Hundred Dresses - Estes
In Grandma's Attic - Richardson
Treasury for Children - Herriot
Johnny Appleseed – Holland
The Light at Tern Rock - Sauer

The Llama Who Had No Pajama - Hoberman
Mary on Horseback - Wells
My Father's Dragon - Gannet
The Real Mother Goose
Richard Scarry's Please and Thank You Book
The Story About Ping - Flack, Wiese
The Story of Dr. Dolittle - Lofting
Capyboppy - Peet
Dolphin Treasure - Grover
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz – Baum

And this is our new 1st grade reading list which we'll start collecting in various used book stores/libraries soon:

Archaeologists Dig for Clues - Duke
From Akebu to Zapotec - Hathersmith
George Muller - Benge
The Great Wall of China - Fisher
Missionary Stories with the Millers - Martin
Greek Myths for Young Children - Amery
Henry Huggins - Cleary
Homer Price - McCloskey
Tut's Mummy Lost and Found - Donnelly
The Usborne Time Traveler - Usborne
The World Series - Bowyer
The Greek News - Powell&Steele

I Heard Good News Today – Lehn
Little Pear - Lattimore
Mountain Born - Yates
Mr. Popper's Penguins - Atwater
Understood Betsy - Fisher
The Year of Miss Agnes - Hill
Gooney Bird Green - Lowry
Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle - McDonald
The Wheel on the School - Dejong
The Best Trick - Lewis
A Big Ball of String - Holland
The Bravest Dog Ever - Standiford

A Review: herbmentor.com

2010-02-06T16:23:00.003-05:00

I have been having so much fun on herbmentor.com. Seriously, if you are interested in using herbs at all, this site is AWESOME!

There are instructional videos on how to make all sorts of things from infusions, tinctures, syrups, and teas, to herbal infused vinegars, oils, and natural body products (creams/bath products etc). It is SO MUCH FUN! There are recipes for ways to incorporate nourishing herbs into your everyday cooking, an herbalpedia, tips on growing your own herb garden, quite a few featured amazing expert herbalists, and great forums in which you can ask questions. I've just been loving it so much! And if you get the Herbal Medicine Making Kit from learningherbs.com (which I got for Christmas and it is worth every penny! A bargain really!), you get a discounted membership. And right now I'm still in the free trial period, but even if I had to pay the full price subscription I think it would be completely worth it!

The people there are so helpful and knowledgeable and friendly! And what it is really about is whole health and how to use plants/herbs in your everyday living and nourishment to optimize your health and the health of your family. They emphasize using what grows around you and incorporating it into your life in very simple and practical ways. I've learned so much just about everyday "weeds" that have incredible nourishing and healing properties that are all around us and I didn't even know it! God has provided us with all of this and it is right under our noses (or in your back yard. ;)

So far I have made a tincture, a healing salve, many many nourishing infusions (which I use almost daily), and a couple of medicinal/supplemental syrups. The salve was so easy and turned out so amazingly well. It is good for just about everything, but I especially love it for chapped lips!

Anyway, I have been benefiting a lot from the site (and so has my family!) and love using it.

The House Fairy

2010-01-27T16:31:00.002-05:00

So yesterday I got one of my Flylady Emails and it recommended showing your kids some website to inspire them to join you in cleaning the house. I didn’t realize when I clicked it quite what it was all about. (Probably should have done my homework, huh?)

Well, we watched ONE video on that site and Emily was sold: hook, line, and sinker. She was immediately inspired and ran up to her room and thoroughly organized and cleaned her room. It was amazing! She kept going on and on about the house fairy coming to visit and leaving surprises for her because she cleaned her room.

Woops.

You have to understand, we don’t even do the Santa Clause thing. I couldn’t stand the idea of lying to my kids about Santa Clause. I don’t fault those who do it, but I just couldn’t. So without even meaning to, now my kid seems to believe in the house fairy. My only hesitation in dispelling this myth is that she is cleaning her room really well! And so willingly and happily! I’ve never seen her so excited about cleaning and organizing. This morning she lugged the vacuum cleaner up the stairs all by herself just so she could vacuum her room. (!?!?) (Remember, she’s five!)

Every time she has asked me about it, I have neither confirmed or denied the existence of such a fairy. I have not lied to her. At least not directly. She even asked if fairies exist and I told her point blank “NO!” Then she still said, “Well I still believe that the house fairy DOES exist!”

It probably doesn't help that Steven left chewing gum in their room as a surprise treat for when they woke up. I did not put him up to that…

I have continued to make sure she knows that I do not believe in the house fairy and that I am not telling her to believe in the house fairy. I’ve also tried to make it clear that there is always the possibility that Daddy or I may have left that surprise last night while she was asleep…

I have a suspicion that deep down, she knows that this house fairy does not truly exist, but she is having fun pretending to believe in her.

However, I will enjoy her super enthusiasm about cleaning her room while it lasts. And I figure it won’t last long!

Living with RCE

2010-01-14T00:18:00.001-05:00

This is random and out-of-nowhere, but it’s been fresh on my mind recently so figured I’d talk about it a bit.

For those of you who don’t know, I have a condition called Recurrent Corneal Erosion. Basically it means that the epithelial layer of my eye (the “skin” so to speak) has pealed away from my eye, thus causing blurred vision, irritation, oh- and pain. Lots of pain. This first happened a few months after Claire was born… in the summer of 2006.

It started gradually. I would wake up in the mornings and feel like something was in my right eye for several hours. It was extremely irritating. I would look and look in the mirror and find nothing in my eye. I asked Steven to look and he could find nothing. I thought I was going crazy. Then mid day to afternoon it would get better and less irritating and I’d forget about it. Until the next morning when it started all over again.

Then one morning I awoke to searing pain in my eye. Something was definitely wrong. I couldn’t handle it anymore. We went to an eye doctor and she immediately told me that it was RCE and prescribed various eye drops and pain medication. I started on her prescribed routine, but it didn’t really help. I kept waking up to pain and not able to function well through the day. So I went back and she did a very minor eye surgery by removing the epithelium from my eye. She used numbing eye drops first so though it was uncomfortable (and disturbing!) it was relatively painless. But after those numbing drops wore off, I kind of wanted to die.

After that procedure the idea was that my epithelial layer would grow back attached again and I’d be all better. Well… it was a nice idea anyway. But it didn’t happen as I had the same issues after the layer grew back. It grew back unattached. I was getting frustrated. I had night drops, morning drops, and a therapeutic contact to hold my epithelium in place and I was afraid to take the contact out (and I mostly just left it in- so I could be somewhat pain free), but the contact isn’t a good long term solution.

Finally we went to see an eye doctor at Emory in Atlanta and he explained RCE to me in a much more understandable way so I knew better how to handle it. That was very helpful. He made it simple.

So how do I handle it? Well, at first- to best aid in healing, I used a high sodium ointment and drop which is what helps the epithelium to adhere back down to the eye. I used it faithfully at night and in the morning. It stung like all get out, but was better than the alternative. This seemed affective.

I read (when I was first going through all this) about people that dealt with it and that most people have to be very careful when they open their eyes in the morning and I thought “I’ll never be able to remember that! What a pain!” But somehow it very quickly became second nature. I guess I learned my lesson?

To this day, one of the first thoughts on my mind every day is Recurrent Corneal Erosion because I am reminded of it every morning as I wake up. I can still feel it there before I even open my eyes. I no longer need the drops as often, but when I wake up, my eyes stay closed and then partially closed for several minutes before I can safely open them all the way. Sometimes I even run down the hall to a crying child with my eyes closed. I brush my teeth with my eyes closed. I’ve had to bump around a few times, but I know better than to open them too fast! It is strange, but I have gotten quite used to it. Sometimes I still feel the sting of RCE in the morning, but since my visit to the Eye doctor in Atlanta, I haven’t had any more urgent problems requiring anymore visits. I use the ointment/drops when I feel another episode coming on more strongly and other than that, remembering not to open my eyes in the morning seems to have done the trick.

My main advice to anyone with RCE:

Get the high concentrated salt drops and ointment and use them faithfully until your RCE is under control and then always keep them on hand for future flare-ups.
Do not sleep with any sort of fan on or air blowing on you. This dries out the eyes and badly aggravates RCE.
Be VERY careful when you open your eyes in the morning. This can make the difference between going about your life normally or having a hugely painful reoccurrence requiring doctors visits and pain medication.

So there you have it- my experience with RCE. Fascinating, no? ;)

ICAN

2010-01-03T13:31:00.002-05:00

As most of you know, I am co-leader of our local ICAN chapter. Since starting this chapter, I have had SO much fun planning meetings, thinking up discussion topics, answering our emails and facebook inquiries, and helping moms seeking VBACs make important decisions about providers and birth location.

Our first meeting was a huge success. There were THREE Certified Professional Midwives in attendance (that’s 3 out of 5 in this area!) and several wonderful and experienced doulas! We also had three moms interested specifically in VBAC, but also in more information about local providers and homebirth. It was such a fabulous meeting and we covered a LOT of information. Having the midwives there was so helpful as they are so knowledgeable and having doulas there was helpful because they know the local providers, hospitals, and birth climate in general since they’ve worked with many moms and a variety of providers and locations. We talked a lot about local stats such as Chattanooga’s over 80% induction rate and higher than average cesarean rate. (SAD but unfortunately true.) We discussed various providers and their pros and cons and which providers will section no matter what once they know you are attempting a VBAC. (There are some like that around here. Sick, huh?) And providers who do intervene too much (like forced episiotomy/pitocin/IV etc), but are also generally good about not being scared off by VBAC clients. We also discussed home VBACs since all three midwives present attend those with great success and impeccable stats (much better than our local hospital stats!).

I think ICAN could be incredibly helpful to any mom or mom-to-be regardless of whether or not she has ever had a cesarean. Coming to meetings and being informed about the local providers, birth climate, birth practices, midwives, doulas, and homebirth would be useful for anyone! I wish more moms would come before their first disaster birth that ended unnecessarily in cesarean so that all that could be avoided to begin with. *sigh* But that’s also why ICAN got started!

Anyway, I am enjoying it immensely and feel that we are providing a very valuable service to families here in Chattanooga! At our first meeting, the moms expressed that they are very interested in all the birth options available but that many husbands/dads are very wary of birth alternatives such as doulas, midwives, waterbirth, and especially the homebirth option. These dads are (understandably) scared of the unknown and worried about their wives and babies. These moms felt their husbands needed to have their eyes opened a bit and have opportunity to hear more, specifically from other dads. They thought it would be more influential coming from other dad’s who’ve done homebirth rather than just their wives. This gave us a great idea for a meeting!

So for our next ICAN meeting, we have several experienced homebirth dads (including Steven of course!) committed to speak about what they’ve learned about birth and how they came around to fully supporting homebirth and how things went for them. I think this meeting has such huge potential to impact these fathers-to-be in a wonderful way. I think dad-to-dad talks and questions should be more available to men in general. I’ve also already had three other homebirth dads volunteer to be there to share information and answer questions! This is going to be amazing! I just hope we have a good turnout of the families who were interested in this sort of meeting to begin with!

Other meeting ideas: Cesarean Healing, a screening of birth movies (such as Business of Being Born, Pregnant in America, or Orgasmic Birth), Home VBAC, Hospital VBAC… and lots more! We have lots of ideas lined up already!

Reflections on 2009

2009-12-29T09:03:00.002-05:00

I trust everyone had a blessed Christmas! We certainly did. This year was special as it was our first year to stay home on Christmas Eve and Christmas morning and start our own traditions. It was very fun and I enjoyed it immensely! Steven built a train table for the boys which was a huuuge project and I was so pleased that it was not only completed, but completed beautifully and we have a fantastic train table now! The boys love it!

We’ve been so blessed this year. We have a new home, four healthy sweet children, new friends, a supportive family, a loving church family, and new opportunities abound. I wasn’t able to keep all my new year resolutions from last year (surprise surprise), but I still feel that a lot was accomplished this year and can definitely see progress from last year. That is always a very rewarding feeling! Of course I still have a long way to go and many goals in mind for this new year! I love how new years are so refreshing and inspiring!

In recent weeks I have already begun re-tackling some health issues, improved our diets, and even lost some weight. Why I started that project just before Thanksgiving, however, is a mystery. I guess I was trying to get a head-start on the new year! Next up is to add back in exercise which should be easier now that Steven gave me an elliptical for Christmas! My interest in natural health and herbal remedies has grown and improved this past year and Steven has encouraged me further by giving me a beginners herbal medicine kit. I had my eye on it and was very excited to receive it for Christmas also! (Yes, he spoils me!)

This year one of my main resolutions (besides the same ol’ same ol’) is to not move! I’d like to stay at this same address for quite some time. God’s in control, but He knows the desires of my heart and I have faith in his goodness to my family! Another resolution involves my desire to become a better teacher to my children in general as well as in my responsibilities as a homeschooling mom. It’s an overwhelming task and I am completely dependent on God to supply what I need in this area as I know myself and I am in no way good enough to do this!

I am excited about 2010 and also in disbelief that it came so quickly. Here’s to another year full of growth and new lessons to learn! Ready or not, it is upon us!

Our Home

Our Family – 2009

(From l-r): Ephraim (1), Will (2), Claire (3), Emily (5)

A favorite recent shot of me and Ephraim

The kids watching Polar Express together.

The train table Steven built for the boys!

I got lots of books for Christmas so this is my current “to read” stack! (Not including one I’m borrowing and also a magazine subscription!)

Enjoying Christmas

2009-12-15T08:51:00.004-05:00

I have always wished for a slower-paced more relaxed Christmas season so that I would have time to enjoy it with my family. I’d like to have more Christmastime traditions too. But as a musician, this will just never be the case unless I take the entire season off, which we simply can’t afford! I have had rehearsals and/or concerts nearly every day so far and add on top of that the fact that I also have my own Christmas shopping and preparations to make and you have stress. But miraculously, I’ve gotten a lot done and have kept up pretty good spirits. I’m reserving the few days before Christmas JUST for my family. I have no other gigs except for one on Christmas Eve (which I think will be very enjoyable and not stressful).

We have a few ideas of fun family Christmastime type things to do and I’m getting very excited about that time to just relax and enjoy the season.

One of the concerts I’ve been the most excited about is tomorrow night and I am getting nervous! Hopefully I’ll feel better about it after tonight’s rehearsal. My trio will be featured and I’ll also be playing my electric violin on a few of the selections. My parents are coming in to see the concert since my dad gave me my electric violin a year ago and I’ve yet to perform on it! I wanted Dad to get to hear it. I’m pretty stoked about that!

Tomorrow is a big day for another reason also. Will is turning TWO! Every time the girls ask what we are doing for Will’s birthday, I say “We are having a concert for Will’s birthday!” (That’s about as far as I have gotten…) What a lucky two-year-old! haha

In other news, I’ve been working on some organization in our house. I’ve been displeased with our linen storage system (or lack thereof) since there are no linen closets in this house and the measly little cabinet we bought for the purpose was overstuffed and NOT working well. Since we can’t afford to buy a nicer/bigger piece of furniture for the purpose we found other solutions. I got three under-bed storage bins. One for each of the three bedrooms upstairs. In each one goes the sheets/blankets for the room it is in. So in the girls’ room under one of their beds in the bin are all the extra sheets/blankets for the girls’ beds. Same for the boys’ room. And for our room. We also installed some hooks and shelving in the girls bathroom for their towels. Now our little linen cabinet only has to house our regular towels and it’s just big enough for that! I feel much better now that I know where all the linens are and they are stored neatly and safely out of sight.

I also tackled some laundry issues. Our laundry is constantly getting backed up because of what a jumbled mess comes out and no one wants to attempt to fold/put anything away. It gets really overwhelming. For me part of the problem was that once the laundry is folded there are about a million different places to take the stacks of clothes in order to put them away. So even if it got folded, still no one wanted to put it all away! So now I have 3 new labeled laundry baskets. (Sound familiar?) Yup, you guessed it. One for each upstairs bedroom. (Though they are kept in our room so far.) When the laundry is clean I sort it before folding into the laundry baskets. Girls’ laundry, Boys’ laundry, and our laundry. I take each basket to its assigned room and then fold it all and put it away in that room. It definitely saves my sanity since it’s all in the right room before even being folded! Makes it a bit less overwhelming and it feels simpler.

The boys laundry in particular can be quite perplexing as their sizes are somewhat similar and some of their clothes can be really confusing. So I even went so far as to label all the boys’ drawers with what goes inside. I can usually remember these things but even I was having some trouble with it. And it was completely blowing Steven’s mind. haha! We will both greatly benefit from the added labels.

And speaking of laundry, Steven found a pair of Claire’s bloomers in his sock drawer recently. I did NOT do that!

As far as Christmas readiness goes, I’m feeling much better this year than last. Most of my biggest projects are done and I only have a few more odds and ends to get together and then… wrapping! I hope to be done with it all before next week!

I hope everyone is having a blessed Christmas season and taking time to remember and ponder the true meaning of our celebration!

Snow, Snow, Snow, Snooooooow!

2009-12-07T09:44:00.004-05:00

It pretty much just doesn't snow here so we were pretty excited to wake up to this on Saturday morning....

Thankful ABCs

2009-11-25T16:56:00.002-05:00

A – Adonia. My trio means so much to me. We have the best of times together.
B- Bathtub. Our new bathtub is rather large. And that’s an understatement. Not many tubs could handle a mom and 4 kids (comfortably) all at one time. May sound strange, but it’s a huge time saver for us. It’s like buy-one-get-four-free baths. One bath = four clean kids? Yes, please! And I could go on about how much they love “swimming” in the tub!
C- Claire. She’s a sweetheart.
D- Dad. My Dad is the best. He’s kind, wise, funny, generous, supportive, good-natured, and very loveable.
E- Emily and Ephraim. Yes, I’m cheating. My oldest and youngest children. Emily is full of surprises and I’m so proud of her. Ephraim is a cuddly baby who is growing up way too fast. He is just precious!
F- Family. Near and far, I love my family.
G- Greenlife. Trivial, yes. But it’s our favorite store!
H- Home. I love our new home. We have enjoyed it immensely. I look forward to many more years in this house.
I- ICAN. ICAN has been a wonderful resource and outlet for me. I’m honored and thrilled to be the co-leader of ICAN of Chattanooga.
J- Jesus. He’s my savior and my only hope for the future.
K- Kids. My kids are such a joy and a tremendous blessing!
L- Laughter. It’s the best medicine!
M- Mom. My mom is my go-to woman for so many questions or just a listening ear. She’s got a lot of common sense and experience. Mom is smart and I want to be like her in so many ways.
N- Nana. (Steven’s mom.) Nana is always willing to help with whatever we need. She’s amazingly supportive and I really appreciate that. And of course the kids adore her and she’s fantastic with them!
O- Old friends. The friends that have known me from childhood have been such lasting and good friends!
P- Pregnancy. (No, I’m not, thanks for asking.) So many friends are expecting now and ICAN obviously involves a lot of pregnant mamas and I love it!
Q- Questions from my kids. Often they ask questions that lead to some of our best conversations. Best means either the funniest or most meaningful.
R- Rest. It is scarce at times, but when I get it, it is GOOD.
S- STEVEN! He’s far better than I ever imagined my husband would be. Loving, supportive, understanding, hard-working, humble, dedicated, and the best dad humanly possible. His family comes first and he adores his kids and I just love watching him with them. I loooove him!
T- Time. Such a precious gift! Time flies and I’m trying to enjoy every moment!
U- Understanding. Friends who understand me are a wonderful blessing!
V- Violin. I love playing and it’s a nice source of income too! My trio, recording gigs, symphony, Chattanooga Symphony, and playing in church are all things that I love to do and that I get to do quite often!
W- Will. Will is my little chunky monster who is so sweet and loving. He’s at such a fun age and I don’t think he could be any cuter!
X- Xylitol, a fantastic and healthy alternative to sugar. I've been using it a lot lately in addition to Stevia.
Y- Yearly celebrations of Thankfulness! Like now!
Z- Zephaniah 3:17. The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.

Kids: Emily

2009-11-02T10:01:00.002-05:00

Emily is almost exactly five and a half years old! She is very smart. Being the oldest, she has also become a bit of a mother figure and definitely my big helper. She carries around Ephraim when he’s fussy and brings him to me. She entertains the little boys and tries to keep Will out of trouble! If you could hear her fuss over her baby brothers you’d think she IS a mom! Telling Will, “No, no, Will! No no!” or cooing over Ephraim, “Hi there cutie baby boy! You’re so sweet, yes you are!” She adores them! She thinks it is hilarious that when she grabs Will’s chin and plants a big kiss on his cheek he makes a big show of wiping it off again!

Emily is the one that started reading simple words at two and short books at three and chapter books at four. She can certainly go through the reading material in no time! She’s nearly finished this year’s worth of school books and mostly all on her own. She’s also nearly done with math for the year. She thrives in academics, loves to learn, and she’s highly self-motivated. (By the way, she does not get this from me.) I love seeing her soak up book after book and learn things just because she wants to! It’s a wonderful thing!

Emily is also a bit of a computer nerd, thanks to her daddy. He got her started early and now she can do anything she wants on the computer by herself. She writes emails or stories, looks up things she’s interested in on the internet, prints out coloring pages for herself and her siblings, and is amazingly good at a wide variety of computer games. She surfs the web of her own accord and likes to find new things to see and do as often as possible. (Yes, we keep a very close eye on all of this!)

I love having a child who can think things through so intelligently and has very interesting conversations with us. She definitely keeps us on our toes!

Kids: Claire

2009-10-30T13:46:00.002-04:00

Claire is 3 years and 7 months old. She is my little girly girl. She likes to be prim and proper and wear dresses “like a princess.”

Claire isn’t a very picky eater or a difficult child in general. She’s very sweet and easy-going though she is sensitive to anyone being slightly upset or displeased with her. Once she starts crying (sobbing) it is hard to consol her! And when she looks sad or starts to cry, you cannot help but feel completely heart-broken for her. This is why it is extremely difficult not to spoil her. Her big blue eyes can look so sad that I’m surprised that she doesn’t get away with more than she already does.

Claire loves to sing and dance. She goes around the house singing like she’s on Broadway all the time. Most often the song is made up on the spot and usually the words are either unintelligible or they are some secret language that only Claire knows! Yet she always sounds musical and adds plenty of flair to her “performance.” She stops and gets shy if she realizes that anyone is paying attention to what she is doing so I usually have to pretend to be doing something else while I am very amused and entertained by her belting out songs while making up some new dance steps.

Claire has a bit of a charmer in her, I think. She comes out with these non-solicited comments that are so sweet and so unexpected that there are times when Steven and I are on the verge of tears. Examples: Last night I was reading with her and when it was bedtime she ran up to put on her PJs, but before making it to the stairs, stopped, ran back and said, “Thank you for helping me to read, Mommy!” Later in the evening she woke up crying and we brought her downstairs for a few cuddles. Once she calmed down we sent her back to bed. She was climbing up the stairs and we said, “Goodnight, Claire!” she responded, “And goodnight to you too!” She also often comes out with, “You are so beautiful today, Mommy!” or, “I like your shirt, Daddy!” We’re not sure if she’s always completely sincere or just wants something, but whatever it is- it’s working for her!

Recently she very frequently requests to watch “Belle” (aka. Beauty and the Beast), and it feels as though she will never tire of that movie! The rest of us are a touch sick of it, but like I said… those eyes!! I figure there are worse things than watching that movie over and over and over and over…

I have been working with Claire on reading and she is just on the cusp of learning how to read! She knows all the letters and what sounds they make and she sounds words out like a pro. Now we are just working on bridging the gap between sounding it out and hearing what word she is saying. Sometimes it is really frustrating to hear her sound out a word over and over and over, but not hear herself saying the word! She’ll say C-AAAAA-T, just as plain as day and I will ask, “What word does that say?” “I don’t know!” She’ll respond. But sometimes she does get it and she gets giddy with excitement when she realizes she’s reading!!

Between Claire’s charm, talent, and bubbly personality, we may be in over our heads!

Kids: Will

2009-10-29T19:51:00.002-04:00

Will is 1 year and 10 months old. He’ll be two on December 16th!

Will is our little chunkster! He doesn’t look particularly fat or anything, but he feels like lead when you pick him up. He is definitely a very solid boy! He loves his food and can put up quite the loud protest if he is required to wait for anytime at all between when he is put into his booster chair for a meal and when he actually gets his food.

Will has never been ahead of the curve as far as development goes. He leaves all that stuff to his sisters and prefers to be very laid back about doing anything new. He didn’t walk until, oh, 16 months? (Might have been 17.) And still has almost no interest in talking. He communicates via grunts (very cave-man-like), and screeches when he’s really serious (usually involving wanting food). He knows a few signs and uses them occasionally, but we haven’t been very consistent with signing so it isn’t extremely helpful at this point.

He does have a few words that he can say, but he doesn’t use them in his day-to-day interactions. He’ll say them for me when he’s in a good mood and I’m trying to get him to say his list of words. Beyond that, he doesn’t say anything. His list of words is Will, Mama, Daddy, Mehmee (Emily), Baba (Diaper), Bah (Bye), and that’s about it. He has said “Bye” in proper context maybe two times over the space of the last 6 months so… it is rare. He understands most of what we say as far as I can tell and knows things like nose, feet, eye, ear… etc etc. You know the drill. I do hope he will start talking more soon! I’m not used to all this waiting around for these things!

I have worked with him on colors a bit and he will repeat after me “geen,” “wehwoh,” and “boo.” (Green, yellow, and blue.) I’m not sure he really recognizes the colors just yet, but it’s cute seeing him point with me and say the colors.

Will loves books and puzzles and cars. He sleeps in a big boy bed and has transitioned to his bed really well. So far he hasn’t tried getting out and he goes down for naps and for bed very easily. He doesn’t argue- he seems to love his sleep!

Despite his lack of motivation to walk and talk, he is full of personality and is a ray of sunshine! He’s all smiles, grins, kisses, and hugs. He gives out kisses and hugs freely and is a very warm-hearted little boy. He has the cutest smile complete with dimples and mischievous bright blue eyes!

Kids: Ephraim

2009-10-28T19:32:00.002-04:00

Ephraim is nearly one year old! He will turn one a week from tomorrow.

He hasn't grown much in a few months. He's been in 6-9 month clothing since about 4 or 5 months! He has maybe gotten a bit longer, but that's about it. He’s extremely strong and “scrappy” you might say. We’ve always been impressed at his strength. Developmentally, he is on target for his age, especially considering his prematurity at birth.

Last week we started Ephraim on solids. For a week or two I began to feel like he needed a bit more than I could give him. He was fussier than normal- unbearably so, and seemed no longer contended most of the time. So I gave him some banana. I can't say that I noticed it did a whole lot of good as far as the fussiness goes and it definitely irritated his digestion, but I can say that he loves it!!

Since starting on food he has had avocado, pear, carrot, sweet potato, a bite of a cookie (Steven did that out of extreme desperation at church), little bites of oat bread, and green beans. Now he's doing pretty well with it and he loves to eat. When I'm holding any kind of food he will practically throw down his paci and open his mouth wide and grab for it. It's hysterical! I'm comfortable enough now to let him have little bites of other foods and he seems to enjoy that. I don't think we'll be in the baby food/purees stage for very long!

I half-expected starting solids to decrease our nursing sessions a little bit but so far that hasn't really happened. If anything, he has increased- especially at night (He had previously been sleeping through the night for the most part!). For some reason he seems to need the added comfort of frequent nursing. His favorite thing to do is "boob hop." He switches sides about every two seconds unless he starts really getting some milk. He does this both before and after he gets the bulk of his feeding. It drives me CRAZY, but I can't really keep him from doing it.

Ephraim only has 2 teeth, but I keep thinking more will start poking through any day, especially with how fussy and clingy he has been lately! I've never had a child be as clingy to Mama as Ephraim is. Even Daddy isn't always good enough for him. He wants MOMMY and no one else. It's nuts! I'm hoping this is a phase because just a few weeks ago he wasn’t clingy. It was like a switch turned off (or on?) when he hit about 10 months and now he no longer tolerates the very act of my putting him down to play or handing him to anyone else. So most of the time he is on me.

He's a good little sleeper and sleeps in his own bed (in the room he shares with Will) and sleeps well. He moved out of our room at about 9 months and immediately started sleeping better. Ephraim just wasn't cut out for co-sleeping as much as the others. He does not like to be disturbed at night and when Steven and I would get into bed or dare to move or breathe in Ephraim's direction during the night he would wake up and fuss. In his own bed he sleeps almost all night except to get up to nurse. (Once or twice.)

Ephraim doesn't like to play in the floor much because… well… that would require me to put him down; but when he does, he's a pretty decent crawler. He has pulled up some also. He likes to play with toys and watch his older siblings play and run around like the silly monkeys that they are.

He's a very sweet and very cuddly baby, but he's also a Mama's boy and doesn't like to be too far from me. I think now that he's getting food and will hopefully start putting on a bit more weight and growing some more, he'll get a little less clingy and a bit more independent. Let me just say that babywearing has come in very handy with this one!

“Don’t Believe in it!”

2009-09-22T12:26:00.002-04:00

Emily and I were playing a computer game where you style hair and try to make it look like the given example. Well Emily was helping me try it because she has much more experience with this particular game and I kept getting it to look exactly right but it still said I had it incorrect! So it was a harder game than I expected…

These were Emily’s consoling words: “If it looks right the computer must be broken. Don’t believe in it! Believe in God and Jesus!”

Good Monday Thoughts

2009-09-14T08:05:00.001-04:00

The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, then walk out the door and deny Him by their lifestyle. THAT is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.

-Kevin Max

While we may not be called to martyr our lives, we must martyr our way of life. We must put our selfish ways to death and march to a different beat. Then the world will see Jesus.

-Michael Tait

Death is much sweeter to me with the testimony of truth than life with the least denial.

- Geleazium, martyred in St. Angelo, Italy, Middle Ages

One question-

Is He worth it to you?

Because if not, have you stopped to ask yourself if you're truly taking up your cross every day and following Him?

I am asking myself this today. Why don't you?

Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.

-Matthew 16:24-25

Hat-tip: Alex!

And Thus Goes another Serious Discussion with Emily

2009-08-19T11:58:00.001-04:00

During school today Emily and I were studying Moses, Israel, Mount Sinai, and The Ten Commandments when our discussion turned from The Ten Commandments to how to handle temptation. I told Emily how God tells us to “Flee” temptation- meaning, turn away from it and run away. I gave her a few practical examples that she might run into in her day-to-day life. Then she says, “What if I wanted to pick my nose and I ran away from it and it was still on my face!?”

Homeschooling Vs. Not Homeschooling

2009-08-16T19:56:00.002-04:00

I’ve been thinking about this a lot and have some thoughts rolling around that I need to just get out of my head before they drive me nuts.

For some reason- I’m not sure why- I feel strongly that I should home school my children. Maybe it was because I was homeschooled? Maybe it’s because it is what seems normal and natural to me. Either way, when I think about sending my kids elsewhere to school I begin to feel horribly guilty.

I have nothing at all against good schools outside the home. If we could easily afford it we would probably strongly consider Chattanooga Christian School. It has an outstanding reputation and I have known many of the teachers and students from that school. I have a great admiration for that school, its teachers, and students-- many of our church youth attend there and do very well! I know it’s a wonderful school! I think it will always be in the back of my mind as a possibility.

I’m still not sure if we had that option if I could get over the guilt of my intrinsic feelings that for some reason I must home school.

I do have some strongly-rooted (and important in my mind) reasons why I want to homeschool, but I don’t apply my reasons and feelings to all Christians. I know everyone and every family is different!

If our kids went to CCS, they’d have some opportunities to do things that they otherwise can’t as homeschoolers, but on the flipside, there are some pretty neat opportunities available just to homeschoolers as well.

Our church has quite a group of homeschoolers and a few extra-curricular classes and activities are offered at the church. We have monthly get-togethers and moms'-night-outs and that has been fantastic. Just last weekend we had a back-to-school party and this fall I’ve signed Emily and Claire up for science classes at the church for a mere $15 for the year. (Wow!) Our group organizes group field trips and school parties along with the option of a variety of co-op type classes with other families. It’s quite the nice arrangement.

So I don’t feel that we’ll miss out on too much by not putting them into a school, but it is different with a different set of opportunities. I know that.

Then there are the weird tensions that exist between some home schooling parents and non-home-schooling-parents. I have nothing against the route they’ve chosen, but I do struggle when it seems that they have a lot against home schooling and feel I should know why my choice is so messed up. I’ve detected some attitudes here and there that are very anti-homeschooling. When I’ve heard reasons for this, they go against so much of what I believe in... it kind of boggles my mind. Our world views seem to be polar opposites in this case, even if our views aren’t that way in general. I couldn’t disagree more with a lot of what I’ve heard from that side of things.

Of course, there are also those who are sending their kids to outside schools who have nothing at all against homeschooling and that weird competitive tension isn’t there which is good. I can usually detect when that tension is or isn’t there when schooling comes up in conversation (which is often with us parental types). It’s either a little tense because the other parents are afraid that we think they are wrong for not home schooling (totally not the case), or because they feel some sort of guilt for not home schooling, or because they are anti-homeschooling (which also makes my blood boil a little bit).

I love it when it’s obvious that the other parents don’t care (or think it’s great!) that we are home schooling and are also happy and confidant in their own choices for their children! Then we can talk easily about our children with no thought of judgments or guilt on either side! That always brings a smile to my face! Can’t we just all get along!? haha!

I know that school just started and I could change my tune… oh… like, tomorrow! But right now I really love home schooling! We never really got totally comfortable with it last year, but now it feels like it’s all falling into place. Schooling is long and tiring, but very fun and as easy as can be expected! I think our school room has helped tremendously. Well, the school room and the Ergo! (I’m not joking.) Everything we need is at our fingertips from books, paper, pens, pencils, math aids, and flash cards, to my laptop! We watch the science/math DVDs on my computer and then do the work-book type stuff and reading right at the desk. No getting up required. We don’t have to clear out our books and papers for a lunch break or anything else because our school area only has the purpose of being our school area! If we need to leave books out for a while, it’s no problem. Then it’s easy to come right back and fall back into what we need to do to finish up! When I give her assignments to do I can stay put and check email or what-have-you and check up on her frequently. It has worked out so well!

All that to say… currently we are loving schooling at home and I really hope this continues. It’s so important to me to do this with my children if I’m at all capable of continuing. I know it will get more challenging along the way so I guess we’ll see how it goes!

Another Point for bumGenius!

2009-07-16T17:10:00.001-04:00

Well, just when I thought I had reached the limit for how good bumGenius diapers could get…

My one main frustration after learning how to resolve the worn-out-elastic was that the velcro also eventually wears out. I knew this would happen sooner or later…

Some of my diapers have already started falling off which as I’m sure you know is never good. Diapers work the best when they stay securely covering baby’s bottom! This is why I have leaned towards trying to find a few good snap diapers but haven’t really wanted to invest anymore money seeing as we already did that. Using cloth isn’t as worth it if you continually have to buy new diapers as old ones wear out! These diapers are still my favorite of all that we’ve tried, have the best fit for us, and I prefer the added adjustability of velcro. I had to find a way to make these diapers continue to work for me!

I don’t even remember where I first saw it, but I saw somewhere that a mom had gotten velcro repair kits from bumGenius! I decided to nose around for more info but couldn’t find anything on the cottonbabies website. Finally I just went to their direct contact page and wrote a note about how my velcro was wearing out on some of my diapers and I’d like to get some repair kits if they had any available. They wrote me back right away and asked how many I needed. I said 15 and now they are in the mail on their way to me- free of charge!

I knew before we got all our diapers that the fancier and more expensive diapers had their pros and cons. Pros: easy to use, fantastic function, cuteness factor, and a fun modern alternative to the old fashioned diapering. Cons: typically don’t last as long as plain prefolds and covers, the modern conveniences (aka- elastic and velcro) tend to eventually wear out, and they are more expensive. I read before we dove into this that they might not last through as many kids as I would like. However, I decided I loved them too much to give them up for that and that I’d cross that bridge when we got to it.

First- the elastic wore out in several of our diapers before we expected. I contacted the company and we were still under warranty and they replaced half of my diapers with brand new diapers- free.

Second- more of my elastic wore out and we were past the warranty, but then I found out how to fix that myself and made my diapers like new again! Nearly free!

Third- velcro problems which I have now learned also has a free solution! This will again extend the life in these diapers. As long as I can replace the elastic and velcro, I can’t see why these diapers won’t last just as long as we need and maybe even then some since I will continue to take good care of them and keep them functioning like new!

Isn’t that exciting!!!??? (Okay, maybe not for you, but I’m pretty much thrilled!) bumGenius scores yet again! I’ve yet to be disappointed!

The Prodigal Blogger

2009-07-15T09:28:00.001-04:00

Hey! I’m still alive.

I’m surrounded by boxes… That’s right, folks- we’re moving! “Didn’t you just move???” Why yes, yes we did. And we’re moving yet again. We are hoping this will be the last move in a VERY long time, though! We had dearly hoped to be able to start moving stuff over already, but there is still construction going on in the inside of the new house and they aren’t ready for us to start the process yet. I’m trying to wait patiently, but not with much success. I’ve got stuff boxed up and ready to GO, yall! Let’s GO GO GO. NOW. STAT.

You could say that I’m ready for this. I’ve loved apartment life but now I’m ready to move on. I will miss the lack of maintenance, having less space to clean, and the little available extras like the pool, workout room, and playground. However, I will not miss the loud metal stairs bolted just on the other side of our bedroom wall that people clunk up and down at all hours of the night and early morning. I will not miss the upstairs neighbors who have apparently installed a bowling alley into their apartment. (How they found the space, I do not know. But I swear… they bowl up there- late into the night.) I will not miss the parking lot outside our windows and cars being parked 6 feet outside our window in the night with their headlights blaring in our window at 2am.

I am looking forward to…

A fenced in back yard! Being able to send the kids out to expel some energy without having to have everyone awake and dressed and a stroller ready to go. I can even let the girls run outside while there are boys napping in their beds? That is HUGE. A garage! I’ve never had a garage before and I’m looking forward to it. Our master bathroom has a large garden/corner soaking tub that I have wanted my whole life. It is sooooooo nice.

Anyway, we are excited to be working on this move and we want to do as much as we can ourselves and so far it is going well. I don’t think it’s going to be an extremely difficult move (as moves go anyway). We’re still busy, we’re still stressed, and we’re (as always) being pulled in every direction; but mostly I just want to move and move asap! I’m ready to get it all over with and settle in.

In the meantime… the apartment is a WRECK! Boxes, stuff, laundry, kids, packing packing packing… you get the picture.

Last week (um, before we made a mess of everything! haha) my brother David and his family dropped by to say hello! It was great to see them. They only come down (from Oregon) every 2 years. They hadn’t ever met Will or Ephraim yet and I had never met their Abigail who just turned 1! Abigail is their 6th and she is such a doll! Red hair like two of her big sisters and she’s starting to talk and she is a tiny little thing! Well, in comparison to Will… she’s very tiny! It was quite adventurous to have David’s six and our four all in this apartment. That’s a lot of kids and accompanying noise!

Anyway, they are in the southeast to visit family and now they are in GA with my parents. We may have an opportunity to get together briefly with my parents and ALL my siblings and their kids. The last time we were all in one place was 3 years ago. It would mean a lot to Mom and Dad to get another family picture since it has been 3 years and there are 5 new grandchildren since the last one was taken! Nothing is set in stone and there are lots of scheduling complications, but if we get pictures, I’ll probably post them here in not too long! It is increasingly difficult to get us all in one place at one time since there are so many people involved all with our own busy schedules, demanding families, and lives. I very rarely see my siblings, even the ones that live in the southeast.

It’s stressful to schedule any of this while also just wanting to work on the move, but I hope it’ll all work out and we’ll survive to tell about it!

In other news, Ephraim is 8 months now and getting cuter all the time. He’s just a ray of sunshine. There’s not much other way to describe him. We love him so much! Yes, he keeps us awake quite often and likes to nurse every two hours, but he’s worth it for all his sunshiny smiles and sweet slobbery kisses. He still has NO teeth (hooray! Teeth are overrated), and he’s a little squirt. He’s tall, but skinny. He’s also very strong. He sits up pretty well independently though he also topples over and it’s really funny! He’s still exclusively breastfed and showing minimal interest in solids. He’s also very expressive and likes to have someone to “talk” to. He has the most heart-melting pouty face, and he’s one of the squirmiest babies I have ever held! When he wants to move, he can MOVE.

Will is 18 months (oh my! 19 months TOMORROW. I forgot that!) and ~~walking~~ running all over the place! I love to see him toddling around so curious about everything. He is also a sweetheart and freely gives out hugs and kisses. He makes up for Ephraim’s lack of teeth with a mouthful of 16 teeth! He loves to eat and has a cute little pudgy toddler belly to prove it. He’s a chunk, no two ways about it! He’s not real interested in talking for the most part, but will occasionally say “Bah!” when he waves or “Amen” after we pray. That’s about the extent of his regular vocabulary. He is also an accomplished screecher.

Since the girls don’t change as quickly as the boys do right now, there’s not much to tell. They are incessant chatter-boxes and often make us laugh. Claire is a character and Emily is smart as a whip. Both tend to be overly-dramatic and we have our fair share of sisterly fights to resolve!

Now I know there were a few other things I had stored away to blog about but of course as soon as I started this, they all left my head. SO… I guess I will continue laundry and packing. TTFN!

Some New-ish Cloth Diapering Thoughts

2009-06-30T09:23:00.005-04:00

I haven’t posted about this in a while and I keep gaining more experience so I figured it was about time!

I recently tried the new Fuzzi Bunz. Some people LOVE these diapers. I expected to myself, but I really don’t.

The way these function as one-sized diapers is by adjustable elastic. There are three pieces of adjustable elastic. One in each leg opening and one at the waist. In theory, this is BRILLIANT. Because not only does it allow for perfectly sized diapers, it also allows for very easily replaceable elastic which is the main part that I’ve ever had wear out in my bumGenius diapers! When I first saw these diapers I thought they were miraculous because that is simply brilliant!

The problem is that they have sooo many little holes in the elastic to allow for that amazingly customized fit that it is easy to make a mess of the diaper. (At least it is for me!) There is too much customization for me. Add to the mix that I have two very different-sized boys and you have a recipe for disaster. Keeping straight how to size the diapers for each boy plus the elastic getting all skewed in the process (and ended up bunching up and not staying in where it is supposed to) just frustrated me to no end. And I’m not quite organized enough to keep some sized for boy A and some sized for boy B so they are always confused. I wash and keep all my diapers together so remembering which ones are for which kid is too much. The other problem is that despite all this amazing customized fitting, it didn’t fit either of my boys very well! There was bulk where I didn’t think there should be and on top of that? They don’t last as long between changes as my other diapers and I’ve had them leak. This really surprised me (and I don’t think it is the norm).

I LOVE the idea of them though and I also love the snaps. Snaps don’t wear as quickly as velcro and also keep curious toddlers from getting the diaper off as easily. The next diaper I MUST try is another bumGenius diaper that is new-er. They are also one-sized (in the simple way to which I am accustomed) AND they have snaps! HOORAY! I have a feeling that these would be perfect for us. Someday I will buy myself one or two of them just as a treat to see what I think! I’ll let you know when that happens.

So my bumGenius one-sized diapers are still doing the best job for me so far and since I’ve learned how to replace worn-out elastic, I’ve been able to greatly extend their life! The diapers in which the elastic has worn out and I’ve replaced it, they’ve been like new again!

I have still been so happy with cloth diapering. I love that my kids room NEVER smells anymore. I remember walking in and being hit in the face by diaper smells back when I used disposables and used a Diaper Genie. Diaper Genies were supposed to be so wonderful at keeping diapers from smelling but once my babies started on solids it didn’t do much for the odor anymore! I used to spray the Diaper Genie down with Lysol and spray the room with Febreeze and air fresheners just to make it NOT embarrassing when company came over. I really wasn’t expecting to have no odor problems once we started cloth diapering, but that is how it has ended up! I have zero complaints about odors! The pail contains it all and their room never smells at all. I use a few squirts of Bac-out spray in the pail every now and then and even the pail (when open) isn’t unbearable! I don’t have to dowse my kids room in Lysol and Febreeze anymore- which is great considering that stuff isn’t really good for them!

Other things I love about cloth diapering… cloth wipes! Oh man cloth wipes are WONDERFUL! I have mostly baby wash cloths and a few “real” cloth wipes (as in, they are originally made and intended for such purpose). I actually haven’t thought the “real” ones were any better than my baby wash cloths that I got CHEAP-O at Walmart. I’ve been very happy with baby wash cloths and I use few drops of tea tree oil and a couple squirts of Dr. Bronners baby-mild soap to make an awesome wipes solution that really cleans my babies’ bottoms and makes them really fresh and clean! It works a million times better than any disposable wipes I’ve ever used. And it’s so much easier than juggling a pile of disposable wipes to throw away and a cloth diaper to put in the pail. With cloth wipes I just tuck all the wipes inside the diaper and then it all goes into the pail together! No juggling or anything to throw away! I’ll also occasionally grab one and wipe down the changing table and it leaves a very clean, fresh scent and does a great job in general. I haven’t bought disposable wipes in a couple years now!

A few months back, I bought some Charlie’s Soap which is supposed to be wonderful for cloth diapers and laundry in general. It also seemed quite economical as one little bag of it lasts an extremely long time! I was sold. We started using it and our clothes and diapers were coming out very nice and clean and I was a very satisfied customer. Then suddenly Will got a nasty rash. For a while we couldn’t figure it out. Finally the only thing I had left to try was to switch detergents. Well now that we’ve quit using the Charlie’s Soap, the rash is going away! This is so strange because this soap is one that I would never expect to cause a rash! But then I read that there have been a few strange reactions to the soap. No one knows why, but when it does cause a rash, it causes a horrible rash! I have felt so bad for poor Will and his little rashy bottom and I am so glad it is going away now. It sure took me long enough to figure it out. No more Charlie’s Soap for us! Now don’t take this as a bad review for Charlie’s Soap. Ephraim had no reaction to it and I believe this reaction from Will to be quite rare as there have been just a few other reports of such a rash in conjunction with Charlie’s Soap. I actually highly recommend it and wish I could use it myself!

I have yet to have a pail liner that I love. I usually double (or triple!) line my pail in order to keep as much wetness off of the pail itself. None of my liners have proven to be completely waterproof and that is frustrating. Granted, I haven’t tried a lot (nor can I afford it) so for now, I’m OK with continuing to double or triple my liners and then sometimes clean out the pail between uses. I’ve used the Bummis Diaper Totes and also made my own pail liner out of PUL, but it still wicks to the outside and I can’t put the bag on any surfaces without also getting them wet. (EW!) I’m hoping that someday I’ll be able to get better pail liners…

I still never have to toilet-dunk or swish! That was always my hang-up with cloth before I started using it and I’m still so happy that there is none of that! My liners usually come through for me and anything that doesn’t “shake” out comes out easy in the wash!

I’m so excited that more and more friends are also using cloth so I’m no longer alone in my explorations, discoveries, and cloth love! I have lots of people who can relate to my cloth obsession and that is just fun! When I started I really didn’t know very many others who used cloth, but now I can think of at least 10 right off the top of my head! YAY! :D

Spider Parts, Kids Clothes

2009-06-15T16:29:00.001-04:00

Yesterday on our way to church I was doing my make-up in the car (as usual- it’s my tradition) and I noticed that the bottom of my cosmetics bag was looking cruddy. I had noticed this recently also and didn’t think much of it. Thought in passing that maybe I should clean it out soon. I continued to rummage around in there for various items such as lipstick, a compact, etc. Then as I pulled something out I noticed an object in the bottom of the bag that looked quite similar to a spider leg. I think I thought about that for a split-second and then shrugged it off again. A few seconds later I saw another part that looked suspiciously spider-like and I decided to take a closer look. I started to get a sinking, slightly nauseated feeling in the pit of my stomach and a feeling of horror and dread came over me as I discovered several more dismembered spider legs + more. I told Steven what I thought I was seeing and he tried to convince me that I was imagining it. I started gingerly pulling out various cosmetics holding them carefully by outstretched index+thumb by the outermost corners that I could reach trying to go as shallowly into the bag as possible-- cringing horribly the ENTIRE time until I could no longer stomach it. I had Steven retrieve the remaining contents at which point he agreed that something had definitely crawled in there and died. Then he conceded that it had to have been a spider based on the number of legs he was seeing. Apparently a spider of some size had crawled into my unattended bag and had died and in the shuffling of the cosmetics had eventually fallen into pieces. It didn’t appear to be a small spider either. He dumped the spider bits out the window for me while I tried to keep from shrieking. EW EW EW EWW EW EWWWWWWWW! *SHIVERS*

Steven also sweetly thoroughly cleaned the bag out with water and soap once we got home which I appreciated so much! I was entirely too creeped out by the whole thing to even think about it. I was ready to toss the whole bag despite it being in perfectly good condition. But oh my goodness! EW! (Did I say EW yet!?) EWWWWWW!

Now for a different subject, please? Okay.

This spring we discovered that Will had no clothes appropriate for the changing seasons in the correct size. We decided to get him a new wardrobe at Target. I spent about $40 (I can’t remember… it was either $30 or $40) at Target getting him a couple pairs of knit stretchy shorts and a few t-shirts. We were doing okay with his meager little wardrobe, but we had to keep up with laundry faithfully or he’d have nothing to wear. Then an old neighbor dropped by with a couple of bags overflowing with clothes for Will! Now he is SET (with gorgeous clothes in near-perfect condition!) for the next year+! He has more clothes than anyone now. It’s incredible! And I discovered something wonderful. I had bought him t-shirts and shorts. The shorts worked well over his diapers but often they would still slip down a bit in the back and large portions of his diaper would show (despite the shorts fitting well). This seemed unavoidable. Then our neighbor gave us all these clothes and there was a huge stack of CUTE little onesies. I know, you’re probably thinking “DUH, Rebecca!!!”- but it works SO well to cover his diapers and he looks so cute all the time! I’m gonna have to remember this… ONESIES = the answers to all our diaper coverage problems. Onesies, and knit stretchy shorts!

After getting all those clothes I saw a mom advertising some clothes in a mom’s group I’m in. She was selling her son’s entire wardrobe of 3t-4t clothing for just $50! So now Will is REALLY set for quite some time! I couldn’t believe it! And these clothes are very well-kept (she had never dried them in the dryer!?) and are mostly from Gymboree! I’m so pleased!

The only kid who still didn’t have enough summer clothes was Claire so we went to Target and got her two little play dresses plus two t-shirts and two shorts that were just $3 each! I also got her one little t-shirt and yoga pants that were just so cute that I couldn’t leave them in the store! She loves her new clothes and I love to dress her!

Just a couple of weeks ago Ephraim started taking a pacifier! I (as always) had mixed feelings about it, but overall it has been very helpful and I figure that by 7 months, our breastfeeding relationship should stable enough to handle a little pacifier use. (Um, ya think?? hehe) He seems to be good about refusing it when he’s actually hungry and taking it for naps to help him go to sleep. I enjoy the little extra peace it gives me at times and it is particularly helpful when he is fussy in church or at a restaurant!

My trio has entered a local contest here called “Chattanooga’s Got Talent” and we perform tomorrow night! We are so excited and nervous! On Wednesday I’ve been hired to do a little solo recital for a nearby retirement community so this is going to be a fun playing week! Up next week? VBS!!!

Project 365, 2009 – May!

2009-06-03T11:13:00.001-04:00

Today is a Sometime

2009-05-29T15:13:00.002-04:00

I needed a bathroom break and I was holding Ephraim so I sat him very carefully on the couch and instructed Emily to sit with him to keep him from falling or hurting himself. She’s used to this sort of thing so I wasn’t worried. When I got back I said, “Well, did he behave?”

Emily sighed and said, “Yes. He licked me a lot. He likes to lick me. I survive sometimes. Today is a sometime.”

Sleep and Homeschooling

2009-05-28T09:58:00.001-04:00

We have had many a rough night recently. This isn’t uncommon at all, but to have them all strung together in the course of a couple weeks has been trying.

First of all, Ephraim- who once upon a time used to be a good sleeper- now is NOT. Actually, it’s quite likely that he’s just been going through his six month growth spurt. And I know it’s perfectly normal for a breastfed baby to not sleep through the night at this stage. However, in conjunction with girls who have lately upped their frequency of night terrors, trips to the bathroom (Claire still can’t quite take herself at night without calling to us first), and Will being very sick to the point of waking 3-5 times during the night… We’ve been getting precious little sleep.

For the most part I have somehow continued to make myself get up at 6am to go running and I feel strongly that running is what has kept me marginally functional during the rest of the day. Otherwise I barely can make myself get off of the couch just for diaper changes let alone feeding the kids, dressing/bathing them (or myself!) etc. It has been so very hard!

However, I am trying really hard to accept this as part of the parental package deal. We want kids? We get what comes with them, which includes many a sleepless night. Before I know it, this fleeting time in my life will be long gone and I will wish my children can be little again!

But, I am tired. And some days I am barely functional. Kids don’t get dressed or even fed at some points and we watch lots of Disney movies or Dora the Explorer. I lie on the couch and do what I can to hold down the fort while resting as much as I can.

Thank the Lord the last couple of nights have been much more bearable. Will is no longer sick, the girls haven’t had nightmares the last two nights, no one has woken us up to take them to the bathroom, and Ephraim has only eaten once or twice during the night and has gone easily back to sleep next to me just after eating. I’ve gotten stretches of sleep more than 2 hours long for 2 nights in a row and what a difference it makes! Yay! Waking up once or twice a night in comparison with what the last week(s) have been? HEAVENLY! I’ll take it. I’ll take whatever I can get!

And maybe, just maybe Ephraim’s growth spurt is on the downswing. We’ll see.

I never knew until these last few months how little sleep I could survive on. I’m sure the same is true for Steven and he typically needs more sleep than me so I’m really not sure how he manages work every day on top of all this sleeplessness!

Aside from all that (Which I desperately hope continues to improve…), I’ve been thinking out and planning the next year of homeschooling and seriously considering what is going to practically work for us and I’m feeling encouraged and renewed in my commitment to homeschooling. We have to be “official” according to state laws this coming year and that is scary and intimidating to me. But Steven and I had a good long talk about everything last night and I feel so much better about it all now and feel like I have a plan that I can manage. It’s amazing what a difference that can make. My motto? Doing something and succeeding is better than attempting everything and failing (aka, doing nothing). That tends to happen to me. I try to accomplish everything and end up giving up and accomplishing nothing because it is too overwhelming or I burn out quickly. So I have to work very hard to keep it simple! I’ll be starting work on lesson plans today! We may do some school during the summer so that we have are a little ahead by the fall. But we’re keeping it simple and as easy as possible for the time being! I keep having to remind myself “This is Kindergarten!”

I recently worked very hard and wrote an article about birth. I feel really good about it and I’m really hoping to get it published somewhere- on a birth blog or something like that, but I’m also not holding my breath. It had been simmering in my head for a while and I finally just decided to write it even though I didn’t have an official place appropriate for posting it. It felt good just to get it out, even if it doesn’t get posted anywhere publically. I’m still working on some ideas for it though.

I’m still in this stage of TOO MANY IDEAS in my head to control! I wish I could just pick an interest and go with it, but other things keep getting in the way. HA! So for now I must focus on just being a mommy as that seems to be ‘bout all I can manage at the moment. Speaking of which… my littlest is apparently done napping. (And good grief it was a short one!) Ah!

Running, Birthdays, Mother’s Day, and Tea

2009-05-18T10:44:00.001-04:00

For Mother’s Day/my birthday, Steven gave me TWO amazing tea pots! There was one I had wanted for quite some time from Adagio Tea. However, Steven picked up a similar pot elsewhere and gave it to me on Mother’s Day and he knew right away… it wasn’t THE one that I picked out and really wanted. Woops. hehe Well, being the sweetheart he is, he didn’t hesitate to order the one I really wanted and now? Well, I have TWO tea pots! My favorite is the one I had chosen that didn’t arrive until the day before my birthday (which is why I consider it as one of my birthday gifts instead of Mother’s Day). Anyway, it is wonderful and it has already been a great thing to have! I make tea in the morning after my run and it stays warm in the pot all day and I drink several pots worth of herbal tea and I always carefully pick herbals teas with many rich health benefits and I’ve already noticed a difference! I use Oat Straw, Nettles, Red Raspberry Leaf, Alfalfa… just to name a few. It makes a very nutrient-rich, and flavorful soothing tea. I’m totally addicted to it! It’s also helpful for energy levels, mood, and anemia! This was exactly why I wanted the tea pot to begin with and now I’m really loving it! It makes drinking the amounts of tea I need and want so much easier and it brews the *perfect* pot of tea also. I’ve never seen such beautiful cups of tea before! Of course, I also occasionally make a pot of “fun” tea and wow! SO YUMMY! Steven has become a coffee snob and now I’m a bit of a tea snob. :)

I’m excited to have recently found a local Frontier Co-op to join! This will save us so much money over Greenlife prices. We’ll be able to buy everything at wholesale prices and often in bulk! We just made a big order of lots of dry-cut herbs, fresh organic spices, and some home/bath/baby products that we got for MUCH cheaper than from Greenlife. This rivals even mainstream item prices from regular stores! I’ve started making some products myself (and want to learn more someday!), but for the rest, Frontier is the most economical source we’ve found so far!

Last week- a week ago exactly- one of my facebook friends made a status update looking for a running partner. I JUMPED at the chance! Another mutual friend also jumped in. We’ve been running every morning since! It is SO great to be running again regularly and it feels fantastic. We meet at 6:30am at a local park and run for 30-45 minutes and we’re doing the Couch-to-5k program. It’s a great program for getting back into running! I have the Couch-to-5k podcasts loaded onto my iPod which tells us when to walk and when to run. In combination with my Nike+ system, I feel like such a high-tech runner!

And I don’t know which is better, the fact that I’m running again, or who I’m running with! Michelle is a midwife, homebirth mama, and doula, and Christina is a midwife’s apprentice and homebirth mama! Michelle has done a TON of doula work in Chattanooga and now attends homebirths all the time as well as continuing to be a doula and she knows our maternity system backwards and forwards. It is fascinating to talk to her! And I’ve learned that Chattanooga has an induction rate of between 80 and 90% and our c-section rate is over 40% (as opposed to the already outrageous national rate of 31.8%!!!!). I also know some more info on particular OBs and midwives in our area (both CPM and CNM) and I’ve learned a bit more about homebirths, hospital births, and doula work. When we run I ask questions--tons and tons of questions, and it is GREAT! Michelle and Christina are amazing women and I’m so glad to get to run with them almost every day. Today Michelle was at a birth so it was just C and I. Last week it was just M and I a couple of days. I figure between the both of them, I’ll always at least have one person to run with if one of them is at a birth! (And I’m soooooooooooooo jealous…)

For my birthday, Steven took me out on a date! First one since Valentine’s Day! Of course, Ephraim was along for the ride, but that’s just the way it goes with my babies. I cannot and will not leave them so long as there is a chance they might need to nurse in the time that I am gone. And I also never use a bottle if I can help it. Which means… I don’t leave them at all (unless it is with Daddy while I’m at symphony rehearsal, but Steven really knows how to handle that and it’s not easy. There is no one else I would trust for that. And I’m certainly glad that symphony season is over so that not even Steven has to deal with that anymore. On-demand-feeding is way more important to me than having a totally alone date. There will be plenty of time for that later. For now, my baby needs me! And he nursed twice during the course of our date, so it was a good thing! We went to Red Robin and had really GOOD burgers! Then we went to Best Buy and then downtown to Coolidge Park and The Walking Bridge! We hadn’t been there in ages so it was very nice to be there again. Ephraim road in the ERGO which was fun. :) He enjoyed himself too, I think! After the bridge, we enjoyed a nice coffee and dessert at Rembrandts before heading back home to relieve the babysitter. It was so nice to be able to talk! Thankfully Ephraim didn’t interfere much at all and we felt like we really got to talk peacefully for the first time in a good while. We enjoyed each other and our youngest on our date. :)

Today I’m trying to get stuff done around the house, drink my tea, and get the kids going because I’d like to stop by BabiesRus to pick up an umbrella stroller before taking them to the park for a playdate! I still haven’t made their sandwiches or gotten my shower! EEEKS! I better run!

Just a little Update

2009-05-08T12:07:00.003-04:00

Nothing earth shattering going on, just wanted to pop in and say hi!

Emily turned 5 which still blows my mind! She’s so grown-up now and is a huge help. She learned to vacuum! She also makes her and Claire’s beds, helps with laundry, takes dishes to the kitchen after meals, and helps a lot with the little boys.

I went to the grocery store the other day with all four kids in tow without Steven. Yes, I was feeling particularly brave and ambitious… or just stupid! However, it went well! The children behaved (or slept, Thank God!) and it was a pleasant trip! And I still get crazy stares and comments all the time. “Are they all yours!? You poor thing!” Ha! I also ventured to the park with all of them (without Steven again!) recently which ended up being very fun except that I forgot sunscreen. (Bye bye, Mommy of the Year award…)

Ephraim is now 6 months. He turned six months on Tuesday and Emily turned 5 on Wednesday! He is such a joy and I just love him to pieces! I know I think this about all of my babies, but he’s the easiest baby in the world! Breastfeeding is going so well (I hope that doesn’t jinx me…) and I LOVE nursing him! I think I enjoy nursing a little more with each kid. It’s just such a sweet relationship I have with my little nurslings. I’m so proud also that Ephraim has never had a bottle and not a drop of formula since leaving the hospital! He is still exclusively breastfed and I’ve no plans to change that anytime soon. We’re enjoying it and he is thriving so I’m perfectly content to continue for now! Our pediatrician actually encourages exclusive breastfeeding for up to a year.

Will is officially walking! He’s not quite practiced enough to walk around outside unassisted and he still falls on his little bottom more often than not, but it is SO cute to see him toddling about all the time! I just love this stage. He’s also starting to communicate more and more. We’ve been going through a bit of a rough patch with him as far as communication and little (or, uh... not so little) stubborn fits go, but hopefully we’re coming out of it soon. I can at least see a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel!

Steven has put a bunch of Disney movies on our media player meaning, I have a list of them to choose from at the touch of a button and I can start, stop, pause, rewind, and pause them without getting out any movies! It’s on a computer that is connected to our TV… that’s about as much as I know about it, but it sure is nice! Anyway, I turned on Aladdin for the girls and there is a part when Jasmine (the princess) is in the marketplace and Aladdin sees her and she gets into trouble with one of the shopkeepers. In order to save her, Aladdin steps in and says that Jasmine is his sister and that she’s crazy and can’t help herself. Well, later in the movie, Aladdin falls in love with Jasmine and takes her on a magical carpet ride and sings “A Whole New World” to her. At that point Emily says to me, “Does Jasmine realize that he’s her brother!?”

We also recently watched Beauty and the Beast which really enthralled the girls. They loved it. But when it got to the end and the beast transforms into the prince, well Emily said, “Wow! So he’s not really a beast!? He was a prince all along?” Oh kid- did you fail to watch the beginning? Yeah, you did. So basically, she missed the entire point from the very beginning. NICE. Oh well, at least she was still entertained I guess!

In other news, as of last weekend I’m done with Symphony for the year! Also, there’s a strong possibility there will be no Fourth of July pops concert this year! I’ve played that concert almost every year for 9 years now and it kills me that there very well may not be one this year. It’s usually a free concert in Coolidge Park by the river that ends with fireworks of course, and EVERYONE is there with picnics and balloons and loves it. It’s always a huge event in Chattanooga and I’m afraid many many people will be sorely disappointed this year.

But at the same time… we’re considering a family vacation (a first for us!) this year and the Fourth of July may be the perfect time since it’s an extra day off… we’ll see. It may not happen, but thinking about it helps to ease the pain of the lack of funding for symphony to do the pops in the park concert!

We have a bit of a problem with tiny ants getting in our windows. It’s really not such a big of a deal except that the girls freak out over every little tiny bug that they see and I’m constantly being summoned to remove yet another one about a million times a day. They usually spot one at least 5 times in a single hour. If I thought taking toddlers potty a million times a day was annoying… this is far far worse!

Well that’s about it for now. I hope all you moms have a very blessed Mother’s Day with your families!

Project 365, 2009 – April!

2009-05-02T00:01:00.002-04:00

ICAN Part 3: The Pictures!

2009-04-28T14:51:00.002-04:00

If you mouse over the pictures, you can see the captions!

A Chair of Bowlies

Surreal Experiences

Please Help a Family in Need

ICAN

I know I know…

Breaking It Down

Paperless Kitchen, Candles, and a Health Tip

Henry–6 months!

Heart and Earth

Nursing Henry

So exciting!

A More Detailed Summation of Henry’s Birth

A Year In Review

December Photo Project: Days 29, 30, and 31

December Photo Project: Days 24, 25, 26, 27, and 28

December Photo Project: Days 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, and 23!

December Photo Project: Day 15

December Photo Project: Day 14

December Photo Project: Day 13

December Photo Project: Day 12

December Photo Project: Day 11

December Photo Project: Day 10

More Post-Birth Thoughts

Newborns

December Photo Project: Day 9

December Photo Project: Day 8

December Photo Project: Day 7

December Photo Project: Day 6

December Photo Project: Day 5

December Photo Project: Day 4

December Photo Project: Day 3

December Photo Project: Day 2

December Photo Project: Day 1

Join Me!

Henry’s Name

Post-Birth Thoughts

It’s a Boy! Introducing Henry Isaac…

It's November!

What else- another prenatal!

Prenatal Appointment

Weekend Posty-ness

One More Thing: "Failed Homebirths"

Homebirthin' Thoughts

Busy Busy

Prenatal Appointment #… (I lost count)

The End of an Era

Why I Love ICAN

Natural Digestive Enzymes

Prenatal Appointment #4

Being Prepared

Homeschooling: Year 3

New Exciting Church Opportunities!

Friday Adventures

Prenatal Appointment #3

Teaching our Children about Purity

Children are a Blessing

And so it begins…

Estimated Due Dates

Prenatal Appointment #2

Sugar and Pregnancy

Cloth Diaper Reviews: Happy Heiny’s

Cloth Diaper Reviews: Smartipants

Environmentalism, Cloth Diapers, Composting, Packaging

Cloth Diaper Reviews: Envibum

Dinner Conversation

A Great Quote from the President of ICAN

Pregnancy and Birthy Stuff on the Brain

#5 plus Boot Camp

Homeschooling for Cheap

A Review: herbmentor.com

The House Fairy

Living with RCE

ICAN

Reflections on 2009

Enjoying Christmas

Snow, Snow, Snow, Snooooooow!

Thankful ABCs

Kids: Emily

Kids: Claire

Kids: Will