Being Prepared

I've had a few friends in recent months to have babies. A couple of them have asked me for advice on how to pursue having a natural hospital birth. I love it when friends ask me that. :) Especially when they take my advice! It just feels good that for one, they want to give baby the gift of a natural birth and for two, they feel that I might know how to advise them! I’m always honored when they ask. :)

• My first piece of advice is get a doula!!! If you were to ask me my top three items of advice it would be, get a doula, get a doula, and GET A DOULA! Seriously. Get a doula. Now.

Do make sure you’re getting a good doula. They aren’t all equal! Ask for references and/or ask around about recommendations. If you hire a good doula she may be what at first sounds expensive to you. But trust me, it is worth every penny. Don’t even hesitate for a second. Just hire her. Lots of doulas will arrange payment plans with you if there is a problem with finances. In fact, I’d say that the best doulas I know are eager to help women no matter their financial difficulties and are thrilled to help in any way they can!

• My second piece of advice is be prepared! Take an independent comprehensive childbirth education class that is NOT in the hospital. Even if you are giving birth in the hospital, don't take the hospital class. More often than not the hospital class could also be called the "how-to-be-a-good-patient-class." Not that you don't necessarily want to be a good patient, but keep in mind that 99% of moms in the hospital do not have a natural birth. So you aren't really going for being a normal patient either. I’ve had friends to take the hospital class and literally be laughed at by the nurses when they expressed they were planning a natural birth.

The top two classes that I've seen mom after mom after mom have great success with are: The Bradley Method of Natural Childbirth and Hypnobabies. These would be my top two recommendations though I'm sure there are some other good independent childbirth education classes out there as well! I took Birthing from Within which was also good, but from what I’ve heard from my friends who’ve taken them and/or teach them- the other two are better. Look for certified childbirth education teachers in these particular methods and you'll likely have the best preparation you can get!

• My third bit of advice is to read a lot! Don't just go out and get What To Expect When You're Expecting and read that. NO- that book will not prepare you for anything. Read The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth, and Gentle Birth Choices, and Your Best Birth, and Great Expectations. These are books that will accurately educate you on the natural processes of pregnancy and birth.

Of course there are actually tons more books that I could recommend but nine months only gives you so much time for reading! And if you're like me and already have kids? Yeah... one or two might be all you can handle (if that)! But there are so many really good ones out there!
But most importantly- get a doula! ;)

However, from seeing what my friends go through in their births, I do have to warn that sometimes no amount of reading, research, classes, and preparation can save you from unwanted interventions. At my ICAN meetings we hear story after story from women who were given unnecessary c-sections merely because their labors were taking too long. Or they were taking too long, were given pitocin, and then the pitocin distressed their baby and the baby had to be saved via c-section. This is all too common and very difficult to avoid in a hospital setting if you’re dealing with an abnormally slow labor. I feel so bad for these sweet mamas who tried so hard to birth their babies naturally and were met with an impossible situation. Most of them regret having gone to the hospital in the first place and go on to plan home VBACs.

And then a good friend of mine who recently had a fantastic (if long!) homebirth found through her experience that if she were to have birthed in the hospital, she most certainly would have had a c-section. She had a 32 hour labor with a baby who had the cord wrapped around his neck (which is a very normal thing, 3 of mine were born this way). Her midwife monitored them carefully in labor and both mom and baby did great throughout labor; but in the hospital she almost without a doubt would have been given pitocin at some point and with the cord around the baby's neck the unnaturally strong pitocin-induced contractions likely would have caused the baby to go into distress and she would have needed a c-section at that point. She feels strongly that having him at home saved her from all that and no amount of doulas, classes, or reading could have prepared her to have him naturally in the hospital. Unfortunately, it is what it is.

But for many women, having a doula, taking an independent childbirth education class, and educating themselves by reading a lot is enough to thoroughly prepare them to have a natural birth in the hospital! I've had two friends go through this process recently and both of them hired a doula, took the Bradley Classes, and read Thinking Woman's Guide (plus more) and went on to have awesome natural hospital births with a fantastic doula. I am so very proud of them both! And I'm so honored that they asked me for advice and then followed it and got precisely what they wanted out of their birth experiences! I can be proud of that, right? :) And yes, I'm even a teensy bit thrilled that one of them has already told me that next time she has every intention of giving birth at home! :-D