Children are a blessing. This is Biblical. No where does the Bible say that children are a curse, or anything other than a blessing. Children are a reward, a heritage from God. They are a gift. The Bible makes this quite clear! To say otherwise is simply wrong.
Scriptures regarding children:
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Matthew 18:2-6
2 Then Jesus called a little child to Him, set him in the midst of them, 3 and said, “Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5 Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me."
Matthew 19:14
14 But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.”
Psalm 127:3-5
3Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
4Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one’s youth.
5Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
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I remember when the thought of having a child caused me to wrinkle my nose and say, "Nah. Not for me. Not right now." Now that I have children I wish I had never thought that way. When I see others say similar things it breaks my heart.
Yet this attitude towards God's blessings is rampant in our culture, even among Christians.
Where children are not welcome is not usually somewhere I would choose to be. If my children are not wanted in certain situations or at particular events, I am not inclined to be there myself. Sometimes it is unavoidable but such events are always laced with sadness for me and a level of insult as well. It reeks of an un-Biblical attitude towards children.
Of course there are times and places where it would not be good for the children to be there, but in general there are very few situations in which I don't think children should be welcome with open arms. As Emily and I have been studying in her school, families are the foundational unit of our society.
It is my opinion at this point in my life that once a couple is married that they should be open to the possibility of children in their family right away- and with a good attitude about it. Even if children are not in their immediate plans, God has ultimate control and that fact should be accepted with joy. Children are the natural result of a loving Godly marriage. I hate the cultural expectation that a couple wait a at least 2 (or 3 or 4) years before welcoming a child. There is nothing wrong or harmful about welcoming a baby into a new family as soon as God gives that blessing. In fact, that is the way I think it should be in general.
When I reflect on all the reasons I thought I didn't want children in the beginning of our marriage, they all begin with "I want." They are all selfish. None of those thoughts were of God, none were of a sincere trust or faith in God, nor were any of my attitudes towards children Biblical. I thought I knew what was best for myself more than God knows what is best for me.
I continually see young married couples wrinkle their noses at any hint of babies and act as if the person hinting at it is mentioning some horrible curse. This look of horror appears in their eyes at the very thought... Have Christians forgotten what God says about children? Since when does the thought of a "gift," a "reward," and a "blessing" bring images of horror to our minds? There is nothing Godly in this attitude, even if it is despicably common.
To be "common" or "normal" is not what we are called to as Christians.
Now that I have four children and one on the way I see and hear a lot more than my fair share of our cultures prevailing attitude towards children. It seems to come out of the woodwork. And it makes my heart heavy.
John 16:21
When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.
8 comments:
It is very sad to see how the attitudes of the world towards children and family have become so deeply embedded everywhere, even among Christians. I suppose this has always been a danger but it seems to be especially true in places like America, where we are very comfortable and used to having what we want, and not being inconvenienced at all.
All of that fits right in with delaying marriage, for many of the reasons people give for doing so.
I personally tend to feel the same way about preferring not to go where children are unwelcome. I can't even express how very grateful I am when people go out of their way to make sure I know my little girl is most definitely included in an invitation.
Pamela, I'm with you on that! Another thing that bothers me is that when my children are specifically *not* invited to something, I feel badly for them because I can't explain that to them why they can't come without it being hurtful. It is one thing to say, "You can't come because it will not be good for children (for valid reasons) and though I always want you with me, we think it would be better for you to stay with a sitter this time." In other cases I feel like the only explanation is "You can't come simply because the people that invited us don't want you." In these cases I find the reasons for excluding children are purely selfish. Children are people too and have feelings and are smarter than any of us realize. I hate to think how that would make my kids feel.
My children are obviously a huge part of my life and I love them dearly. If I am invited, but it is specifically clear that my children are not invited, I feel partially unwanted as well as a huge chunk of me (my kids) are unwelcome. It certainly puts a damper on these things for those of us who are proud parents.
It is sad for me to see this rampant attitude in our culture, as well. And I know so many couples who would love the blessing of more children but just haven't been able to! I don't want to ever take for granted the three amazing blessings I have right now...
I agree =).
It is no secret that children change their parents' lives. They can disrupt situations and be "inconvenient" in a world where convenience has become such an ultimate goal (even internet-in-your-pocket is becoming normal).
Especially to the church, do not forget the vows that you as a congregation take at every baptism, to help raise and nurture every child in Christ. As much of a distraction as they can be, our children need to be out in the world with us, learning how to live faithfully.
There will always be some situations where kids simply should not be, but let's stop this trend of viewing children as an inconvenience. Our children need the support of the entire community, not just their own parents.
I totally agree with you 100%. I don't understand or like this horrible attitude towards children, •especially• among the Christians I know.
I, too, don't like things where kids aren't welcome (especially church services, where they should be! not in a separate "Children's Church"). In your comment you wrote, "In these cases I find the reasons for excluding children are purely selfish." and that is SO TRUE! We went to a friend's wedding that specified that they didn't want children, but I talked to the groom about it (I was still exclusively nursing her at the time) and we brought Janelle. Everyone was delighted with her and she didn't cause any "trouble" during the ceremony. It made me sad that aside from the flower girl and ring bearer, she was the only toddler there.
I'm glad there are great families out there like yours. You & Steven are doing an awesome job of raising up Godly & beautiful children. :) Keep up the good work!
Great post. I always hate to see friends who have been married for years purposely avoiding the blessing of children because they want to pay off this bill or they want to go live abroad first or, or, or.... As someone who has yet been unable to have a child, I find it even more ridiculous that someone who is capable of experiencing that blessing, that joy and wonder, *chooses* not to.
Such a good post, Rebecca! We are one of those couples that postponed children while we were in school, and that is a regret I have on my part (come to think of it, I can't speak for Lee :). I still remember the 'shock' of transitioning to parenthood after being married for 5 years and thinking that at that point it seemed strange that we had spent so long "by ourselves."
I remember at our church in TX, some women orgainized a once-a-month dinner socialization time in different homes. The announcement specifically said 'no children' which surprised me in such a family-friendly church. We didn't go on that principle!
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